


One Armed Bandit Strikes Again

by Amberwinters



Series: One Armed Bandit Series [2]
Category: Adam Lambert (Musician)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-20
Updated: 2011-03-04
Packaged: 2017-10-15 19:28:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 60,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/164180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amberwinters/pseuds/Amberwinters
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kris has hooked up with the biggest Diva known to humankind and hopes to tame him.  Will Adam Lambert finally grow up and become the partner Kris needs?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sequel to One Armed Bandit. You really have to read that one first to understand this one because it picks up immediately after that one.

_“I can do that, cute guy.” Famous last words from the biggest bastard Kris had yet to befriend._

Not more than two weeks later, Kris found himself standing across a room watching Adam Lambert trying to get into Justin Timberlake’s pants. Obviously, the guy did not fully embrace the concept of discretion.

Kris felt someone come up beside him, “If it’s any consolation, I am pretty sure Justin is completely straight.”

Kris turned to Tommy Joe Ratliff, “It really isn’t. He is never going to change, is he?”

“I don’t know. I think he is getting better but change takes time.”

Kris just rolled his eyes, “I think I’ll just go back to the hotel and maybe read a book. At least that might have a happy ending.”

Kris left the A-list party Adam had taken him to return to their hotel. They were in Miami for two shows. The tour would wrap up in six weeks and Kris was starting to become apprehensive about what he was going to do with the rest of his life. His parents were hardly going to welcome in back with open arms and he really had no desire to return to Conway. If he lasted the rest of the tour, he would have 20K and could move to any city and rent a small place while he looked for work. He had always wanted to live in LA but maybe he’d pick NY instead since he doubted things would work out with Adam.

Kris continued to day dream when Adam stormed into the room. “What the fuck, Kris? How could you just abandon me at a party? You didn’t even say goodbye.”

“I’m sorry you looked busy and I didn’t want cramp your style.”

Adam shook his head obviously not listening, “I had to spend twenty minutes looking for you only to learn you went back to the fucking hotel. That was so inconsiderate of you. Last I checked you were still in charge of entertaining me.”

Kris was not going to bite. Adam was trying to goad him but Kris didn’t have the spirit to fight, “I’m sorry you weren’t entertained. Next time, I’ll hire a call boy so you don’t strike out.”

Adam turned to Kris, “What the hell is that supposed to mean? First off, I don’t ‘strike out’. Ever. Second, if I wanted sex I have you. Isn’t that one of the perks of dating?”

Kris just started reading again. No, he was definitely not going to have a pointless discussion with Adam. Kris could smell he had been drinking and his eyes were a little glazed. A drunk!Adam was an irrational!Adam. Well, to be fair Adam wasn’t often all that rational or at least his logic didn’t quite make sense to normal people.

In typical Jekyll and Hyde fashion, Adam climbed in the bed and smiled, “OK, I forgive you. Now stop reading your boring book so we can fool around.”

“Adam, I have a headache. I’d rather just read a few more pages and call it a night.”

Adam looked at Kris with an expression of horror, “Are you turning me down?”

Kris sighed, “I am asking for a reprieve because I’m annoyed at you. What the fuck were you doing trying to seduce Justin Timberlake? If that was your plan, I would have stayed home.”

“It wasn’t my plan because I had no idea he was on the guest list. Besides, I wasn’t seducing him, I was flirting. I flirt a lot. It is just part of my personality.”

“Yeah so is being promiscuous but I thought you were working on that one.”

Adam stood up, “Fuck you. I really don’t appreciate you acting like an insane, jealous husband. We aren’t married and you agreed I didn’t have to be completely monogamous.”

“Yeah, and you agreed not to throw it in my face. I guess we both lied. Adam, can we just forget about it for tonight. I am sure I’ll eventually forgive you since apparently I have no self respect.”

“Ok, can I still have sex?”

“No.”

Adam stood up, “Fine, I am going to take a shower and pleasure myself but I if this keeps up I am definitely getting off the monogamy wagon.”

 _As if he had ever climbed aboard!_ Kris watched as Adam went in the bathroom and began to doubt himself. Adam had a point, if Kris stopped putting out Adam would definitely stray. _Great now, he has me buying into an abusive relationship. Wonderful, how far down was rock-bottom?_

Adam came out of the bathroom a few minutes later smelling like his lavender scented shower gel. He climbed into the bed naked and moved closer to Kris, “I’m sorry if I made you jealous. Justin is totally straight and I was just fucking with him. I wasn’t really trying to hook up with him. Besides, why would I do that when I have you?”

Kris hated himself because Adam’s manipulation was working. Kris looked at Adam, “You are just trying to get me to put out.”

“No, I am truly sorry you are hurt. I really like you and I want to make you happy. I do think if you put out you will be happier, though.” Adam smiled at Kris hopefully.

Kris broke and smiled back, “You are such an asshole, Adam Lambert.”

“I know, but I’m trying to be better.”

Adam started kissing Kris and touching him exactly the way Kris liked. Fuck it, make up sex is too good to pass up. Kris gave in to Adam’s advances. It really wasn’t fair that Adam was such a good lover and could turn on the charm like no other. However, as good as the night was, in the morning Kris couldn’t help but feel he had lost a little more self-respect. Adam was using him and he was enabling him. It wasn’t healthy.

Adam woke up, “Good morning, baby. I feel great.”

Kris plastered a fake smile on his face, “Well, that’s all that matters. You have a radio interview in an hour.”

Adam didn’t even seem to notice the sarcasm, “OK, and tonight is a show. Lucky you, I guess since I am busy you have the day off. What are you going to do?”

“I guess I’ll just hang around the pool and maybe workout. Isn’t that what kept men do?”

Adam looked at Kris, “Like you said, I have a radio interview. I don’t really have time to figure out why you are being an asshole this morning. I hope your day gets better.”

Adam kissed Kris on the cheek and went into the bathroom to shower. Kris’ jaw dropped open and he stood in shock for a few moments. _Did Adam actually correctly interpret his mood and side step a scene?_ Not only didn’t Adam throw a Diva fit, he took the high road. Maybe he was changing. Kris also realized perhaps he was out of line with his statement since it wasn’t Adam’s fault he was a loser and had no real job. In the next six weeks, Kris needed to come up with a plan for when the tour was over. Being a kept man was definitely not an option especially because at the rate he was going, it wouldn’t likely be offered.


	2. Chapter 2

After Adam left for his interview, Kris went to the hotel gym and then down to the pool. He ate lunch and had a beer thinking it was actually kind of good to be a kept man. Tommy joined him at the poolside café,

“I just got a text from Adam saying we are having an all hands meeting at 6. Do you know what this is about?”

Kris shrugged, “Maybe he wants new curtains on the bus. He didn’t mention anything to me.” Kris looked at his phone and saw the message Tommy was referring to which meant he had to attend the meeting too.

“So how did it go with Adam last night? He was pretty pissed when I told him you left.”

Kris shrugged again, “Yeah he was pissed but he got over it fast enough. I am sure things will work out for the rest of the tour just fine.”

“What happens after the tour?”

“I don’t know. I doubt he needs an cultural events coordinator in LA.”

“No but maybe he needs a boyfriend.”

Kris laughed, “I am getting the feeling that is the last thing he needs. He really isn’t too good at the commitment thing.”

Tommy laughed, “Give him some time. Before you, he wouldn’t even sleep with a guy twice so the way I see it you are way ahead of your competition.”

Big deal. Kris finished his lunch and went back to his room. Adam must have come back briefly because there was a note asking Kris to check on his dry cleaning. _When did I become a personal assistant? Where the hell was Lane?_ Kris did as the note instructed and intentionally didn’t argue when they said it wouldn’t be done until the next day. _After all if he did the job too well, he might end up doing it all the time._

At around a quarter to six, Adam came back to the room. He glanced around the living room and grabbed Kris’ back pack that was on the couch and tossed it into the bedroom, “Didn’t you get my note we were having a meeting at six? It is not professional to have your shit out.”

Kris was pissed, “Adam, I am not your fucking personal assistant.”

“Well, Lane is on vacation and you are her backup.”

“Since when?”

“Since she went on fucking vacation. Ok, I’ll forgive you for being dumb. You are my personal assistant until she returns in three weeks. Besides, I could tell you wanted more responsibility. You were getting bitchy.”

Kris wanted to punch Adam but refrained. “What is this meeting about?”

“I have a few things I want to discuss with everyone. Plus, I have a small surprise.”

Kris just nodded knowing Adam wasn’t going to give him the scoop. Everyone arrived at six and sat down. Adam started the meeting by thanking everyone for all their hard work over the last few months. Kris was impressed that Adam could be so professional and actually lead an organized meeting. He went around the room first to ask if anyone had issues and they discussed some possible set changes.

After that, Adam began mentioning his items which included changing the tour bus curtains. Kris refused to look at Tommy in fear he would laugh. Adam continued, “As you know we were going to play three shows in Tampa after this. However, the venue we were booked at had a fire and burnt down. The only other suitable location is booked. We are going to reschedule Tampa at the end of the tour. So after tonight there isn’t another show for seven days. Since I am such a nice boss, I am buying everyone a roundtrip ticket to either LA or any equally distanced city of their choice.”

Everyone seemed happy for the break and free ticket. Everyone except Kris, he didn’t really have anywhere to go. He didn’t want to go home and anywhere else would cost money. Maybe he could stay with the buses. Adam ended the meeting and told them to let Tony know where they wanted to go before the show. Everyone began filtering out of their suite. Tommy looked over by Kris, “Why so glum? I am sure you get a vacation too.”

“I don’t really have anywhere to go.”

“I am thinking of going to NY to see my cousin. You can come with me.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, no worries. She is really cool and won’t mind an extra person.”

Kris was happy to have a destination and would find out if he liked the city. Adam came over, “Kris, I am going to talk to my publicist and make sure he doesn’t schedule any media events in the next few days. I just want to spend time with friends and family.”

Kris just nodded not sure why Adam was telling him this. Adam must have noticed his deer in the headlights look, “You are filling in for Lane, remember? So I am informing you I won’t have any professional engagements for the next few days.”

Tommy looked at Adam, “Well, then you don’t need him to work. Kris is coming with me to NY.”

Adam looked at Kris and then turned back to Tommy, “Are you high? Kris is not going to NY with you. He is coming to LA with me. Why would he go to NY anyway?”

“I don’t know maybe to get a vacation from you.”

Kris could see Adam spinning up. “Adam, if you need me to help you in LA, then I will come to LA but I need a place to stay. I am not from there.”

“I don’t need you to help me. I kind of thought you would want to hang out with me. Maybe meet my friends and family but if you really want to go to NY with Tommy…”

Kris looked at Adam, “You want me to meet your family?”

“Well, yeah. Isn’t that what people do when they date?”

Kris couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Maybe an alien had taken over Adam’s body or he hit his head earlier. Kris felt Tommy slap him on the back, “Well, sounds like you have a better offer. I gotta go tell Tony to get me a ticket to New York City.”

Kris kept staring at Adam. Adam smiled, “This is going to be fun, Kris. For the next few days, I will act as the ‘cultural events coordinator’ and all you have to do is enjoy.”

“Where are we going to stay?”

“I have a house in the hills. It is a lot bigger than the hotel rooms so you’ll get a break from me. Plus, I promise I will be on my best behavior. Now, I have to go to the show but we are flying out tonight so just pack me an overnight bag and put the rest of my stuff on the bus. You don’t need too much either because I plan to take you shopping. My friends are very fashionable and I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.”

Adam kissed him on the cheek and walked away before Kris could slap him. Kris definitely planned to pack his own clothes. He would be more uncomfortable wearing some crazy outfit Adam picked out. They had gone shopping together before and their taste in clothing were polar opposites. Kris liked comfortable, simple clothes. Adam took fashion way too seriously and felt a good look would make up for any uncomfortable fit. _No, Kris was not going to be the boy toy Adam gets to dress up._ Still, he was happy he was going to LA. Even though Adam could be an asshole, Kris would have missed him.

As soon as the show ended they headed out to the airport. Adam seemed tired from the show and pretty mellow. A few people recognized him at the airport and he graciously signed autographs. Adam could be a huge diva and asshole to lovers but he did tend to treat his fans good. Well, not the ones he fooled around with but certainly the ones that seemed to worship him from afar.

They had business class seats which Kris loved. Traveling with Adam definitely had its perks. They sat down and of course Adam insisted on the window. Kris settled in his aisle seat and was surprised when Adam grabbed his hand and kissed it, “I would have missed you if you went to NY.”

Kris was not used to dealing with affectionate!Adam and handled it by being sarcastic, “I am sure you have plenty of pretty boys in LA that would have filled the void.”

Adam squeezed Kris’ hand that he was still holding, “Nah, they would have passed the time that’s about it. I want to get some sleep, cute guy, wake me up when we land.”

Kris watched as Adam dozed off. He always looked so angelic when he slept it was hard to believe he possessed a Diva!demon inside him. Adam slept through the whole flight. They arrived in LA at six in the morning. Adam was annoyed because no car was set up to pick them up. They ended up taking a taxi to his house. Kris could not believe Adam’s house. It was more of an estate then a house. It was like one of those houses featured on lifestyles of the rich and famous. As they walked up, Kris felt like a Beverly Hillbilly. A housekeeper greeted them. Kris went in and continued to feel overwhelmed at the ostentatious decor.

“So I’ll give you a quick tour.” Adam showed him his house which contained a gym, sauna, small music studio, movie theater, pool and Jacuzzi. Kris noticed in one of the rooms, Adam had all his music awards and platinum records lining all four walls. Sometimes, Kris forgot just how accomplished Adam really was and suddenly felt intimidated. Adam just shrugged nonchalantly, “I had to put them somewhere.”

Although the house was very impressive, it had no warmth or personality. Other than a few pictures in the bedroom, there was nothing that reminded Kris of Adam. Surprising since Adam could have drawn from any number of his personalities.

“How long have you had this place?”

“About a year but I haven’t stayed here much. They finished remodeling and decorating while I was on tour. Nice huh? It has all the bells and whistles.” Kris could tell from Adam’s tone he wasn’t as enthused as he pretended to be.

“I bet it does. I guess I am just more of a simple guy but I sure like the pool and studio.”

“Well, you are going to love the cappuccino maker even more. I was once a barista at Starbucks so you are in for a treat.”

Kris sat down while Adam made them two cappuccinos. Kris was happy he came and was enjoying being with Adam. As they were drinking Adam looked apprehensive and in his usual tactless fashion blurted out, “You know I’m not your boyfriend, right?”

 _Here is comes._ Kris wanted to kick himself for even thinking for a minute Adam wasn’t a complete bastard. Kris took a deep breath, “I thought you agreed we were dating and you wanted me to meet your family.”

“Exactly, we are casually dating and since you are my friend I’d like you to meet my family.”

Kris wasn’t sure what Adam was really saying so he wanted to make sure it was clear, “What do you mean by ‘casually dating’?”

“Meaning we are not that serious and we are not completely committed to monogamy.”

 _What a jerk!_ “Is there someone you are planning to fuck in LA? If I am cramping your style, why didn’t you just let me go to NY with Tommy?”

Adam sighed, “Must you be so dramatic?”

It took all of Kris’ belief in hell not to murder Adam at that moment. _If that was not the pot calling the kettle black! Dramatic!_ Kris looked at Adam, “So exactly how are you going to introduce me to your friends and family?”

Adam smiled proudly, “I will simply say ‘my good friend, Kris’.”

Kris shook his head, “You are playing games with me and its mean. You made it sound like I was coming here because you thought I was special and now that we are here you are treating me like shit again.”

“I’ll admit I might have misrepresented the trip which is why I was clarifying things. Don’t I get credit for being honest?”

“You lied to me to get me to come and once I was on your territory, on your terms you changed the story. That’s manipulative not honest.”

“No, it’s just strategic. Look, I’m sorry you fell for it. Can’t we get past this and focus on having fun?”

Kris was pissed, “Fuck you. I’m not playing your games. I am going to go stay at a hotel.”

Adam snapped, “Fuck you too. You know I’m not as shallow and stupid as you think I am. Did you ever think maybe you are just using me?”

Kris stared at Adam. _Oh, this was going to be rich. What did the master manipulator have up his sleeve this time?_

Adam continued, “You know I am not the only one that’s fucked up when it comes to relationships. You know I met you right after you got jilted. Did you ever think maybe I was just your rebound? Yeah, maybe I am just that knight in shining armor that saves you from your first heartbreak. Once you get your confidence back you’ll probably leave me and realize you are not even fucking gay. Did you ever think of that?”

Kris was truly shocked. In truth, he never did think of that and what’s more shocking is Adam did. It was actually a very insightful observation.

“I don’t think you are just a rebound, Adam.”

“You might not think it but you can’t be sure. So, seeing as you are getting over your first serious relationship, you have never been with a man before and your life is in total upheaval, don’t you think it is prudent to proceed with caution?”

Kris shrugged, “I still don’t want to be your dirty little secret.”

“You are not. Would it make you feel better if I introduce you as ‘the guy I am seeing’?”

“Well, I guess it’s better than fuck-buddy.”

Adam laughed and Kris couldn’t help but laugh too. Kris couldn’t resist taking one more jab, “Since we are being honest, I actually find your house pretentious.”

Adam laughed again, “Me too. Maybe it will be better if we christen it properly.”

Adam dragged Kris upstairs and threw him on his picture perfect bed. Kris rolled around wildly to mess up the bedding. Adam smiled, “Much better.”

Kris held out his arms and Adam lowered himself into them. Kris kissed him, “As dysfunctional as it is, I am really starting to like this makeup sex stuff.”

“Good thing I am such an asshole then.”

Kris’ laughter quickly changed to passion when Adam started kissing him down his neck and chest. Kris loved when Adam took his time by licking and caressing him all over. In all his past relationship, which were few, sex had never been this good. No wonder Julie strayed. _Wow, that thought didn’t even hurt._ Yeah, this thing with Adam was not just a rebound it was the real deal. Kris cleared his mind and just focused on the pleasure Adam was giving him. No matter how selfish, self-centered Adam could be, it never seemed to extend to their lovemaking. Adam was a giver and Kris appreciated that.

Kris woke up to someone caressing his cheek. He opened his eyes and stared into glittery blue ones, “Hey sleeping beauty, time to get up. My mom is expecting us for dinner in an hour.”

“Mom? I was hoping we would ease into this with a few of your friends first.”

“Believe me, my mom is much easier than my friends. She has manners.”

Kris got up and showered. He hoped Adam didn’t try and dress him. He was nervous enough. Adam was actually dressed down in just cargo pants and a simple black sweater. Kris took that as a green light to wear his comforting flannel shirt and loose jeans. Adam laughed, “Well, if nothing else, that outfit should throw them off the trail of us being a couple.”

Kris just flipped him the finger and focused on not getting too nervous about meeting Mama Lambert.


	3. Chapter 3

_Why was Kris even surprised when to discover Adam had a red Ferrari convertible sitting in his garage?_ After twenty minutes of Adam cutting in and out of traffic, ignoring lanes lines and being a general menace on the road, Kris decided to offer up his services as designated driver.

“Are you sure, Kris? If anyone deserves a beer, it is you.”

“Nah, I don’t want to make an ass of myself in front of your Mom. You can get hammered, she has to love you.”

“Cool. So her name is Leila and if my brother shows up he is Neil. Hopefully, Neil won’t be there because frankly he is a dick.”

They arrived at a quaint Thai restaurant off of Melrose Ave. After spending months with Adam, Kris was getting used to trying exotic food. They went in and went over to a table with a middle aged woman and twenty something guy. Adam kissed his mother on the cheek and shook his brother’s hand, “This is…Kris. He is my friend and…cultural events coordinator on the tour.”

Kris was surprised that Adam had sounded nervous. Kris smiled at the two Lamberts. Leila shook his hand, “It is nice to meet you, Kris and glad you are joining us for dinner.”

Neil shook his hand and looked at him funny, “What the hell is a cultural events coordinator?”

“I figure out what attraction on in each of the cities we go to and plan activities.”

“For the band?”

“Well…more for Adam and me.”

Neil threw his head back laughing, “So now you are such a Diva you have to pay people to be your friend. Wow, bro, sorry for your life.”

“I am not paid to be his friend. I am paid to research activities.”

Neil nodded, “Yeah, Tommy mentioned they had someone on tour to control Adam’s diva outbursts. It must be you. How is that working out?”

“Go fuck yourself, Neil. Mom, why did you invite him? Tell him to stop being a dick to my boy…Kris.”

Leila quirked a brow and then turned to Neil, “Stop giving your brother a hard time. Now let’s order before you two make a scene and get us thrown out.”

 _Was Adam going to call him a boyfriend? Nah, he was probably going to say boy toy or maybe he just called him his boy and needed to catch his breath._ Kris liked Leila and agreed with Adam, Neil was a dick.

There food arrived and Adam was immediately upset because his dish contained eggs. Adam had decided five days ago that he was going to follow the latest Hollywood diet craze and swear off any eggs, or adolescent meats such as veal and lamb. Kris had noticed over the last couple months Adam was a big time fad person. He always seemed to be into something new, became obsessive and then would lose interest. Kris also knew Adam was a baby so without even thinking twice switched their dishes.

Neil laughed, “Wow, you are good at preventing his outbursts. Few people would have given up curry chicken for whatever weird shit Adam tried to order. You better keep him Adam.”

Kris did not want Neil spinning Adam up, “I am not a fussy eater and I am sure every dish they make here is good.”

Leila smiled, “Truer words were never spoken. Besides you are more than welcome to have some of my Pad Thai. So, Kris, where do you and Adam know each other form? I thought I knew most of his friends.”

“Er…in Las Vegas. I was there with some friends and bumped into him at a night club. We just kind of hit it off and then I joined the tour.”

Leila looked at Adam with concern, “You hooked up in a Las Vegas night club and then you suddenly joined the tour? Didn’t you have a job or school?”

“No, I had been fired from my job and had just been jilted by my fiancé…”

Kris could tell by Leila’s expression, she was not impressed. He could also see distrust in her eyes. Kris looked at Adam nervously. Adam winked at him, “Mom, he is not a gold digger if that’s what you are getting at. He had some unfortunate events which fortunately for me allowed him to join the tour immediately.”

Leila’s eyes were still filled with mistrust but she smiled, “Yes, that is quite fortuitous. So Kris where are you from?”

Kris could tell he was not going to win them over and he understood. Here he was broke, a nobody and definitely not in Adam’s league. He should have left the plaid home! “I am from Conway, Arkansas.”

“Kris, plays guitar and sings.”

Leila nodded, “Of course, he does, dear. You always seem to attract those starving artist types, don’t you?”

This dinner was a disaster and every word Kris uttered seemed to make things worse. By the time dessert arrived, even Adam was looking at him with distrust. Kris excused himself to go to the bathroom. After relieving himself, he took a few minutes to regroup and try and figured out what went wrong. _Most parents he had met before, loved him. He was like a parent’s wet dream. Weird. Besides, didn’t Mrs. Lambert have any clue what a bastard her son was to men?_

Kris made his way back but paused behind a large flower pot when he overheard them talking.

“…Adam, you usually don’t invite complete strangers to join your tour. I thought you were going to exercise more caution after what happened with Todd. What is going on?”

“Nothing. He needed a job and I wanted to have more fun.”

“Are you sleeping with him?”

Kris went over since the waiter was looking at him funny. They immediately shut up. He sat back down. Adam excused himself next. Kris heart accelerated. He wasn’t ready to deal with two suspicious Lamberts alone.

“So Kris, are you and Adam dating?”

“No, Adam doesn’t date.” There was no way Kris was going to put himself under more scrutiny.

Neil looked at him, “So you put up with my brother’s bullshit without even sleeping with him?”

Leila hit Neil, “Your brother is a good man. In fact, I worry that people take advantage of his trusting nature.” Leila looked at Kris pointedly, “It wouldn’t be the first time some cute boy tried to use Adam for his money and fame.”

In a total panic Kris blurted, “We are just fuck-buddies.”

Leila and Neil stared at him as Kris covered his mouth. _Oh god, where is an earthquake when you need one._

Neil laughed suddenly, “Now, that makes sense. So my brother is paying you for sex too?”

Leila stared at Kris appalled, “You are a hooker?”

Kris was about to defend himself when Adam returned from the bathroom. Once again the table grew silent and Kris wanted to die. Adam seemed to notice the tension, “What’s going on? Neil, are you insulting Kris again?”

“No, Kris was just telling Mom you and he were fuck buddies.”

Adam looked at Kris like he had three heads, “Kris?”

“Er…I’m not feeling so well. I think I’ll just get some fresh air.”

Kris ran out of the restaurant and just collapsed on the ground. _Without a doubt, that was by far the worst parent encounter in the world._ He was sure the Lamberts, were convincing their son to run far away from his psycho friend. _Fuck-buddy?_ How the hell did that slip out and now his mother thought he was a whore. He couldn’t even blame this disaster on booze.

Adam came out annoyed, “Wow, that was really rude. You didn’t even say goodbye to them.”

Kris was hyperventilating and Adam’s anger wasn’t helping, “They hated me. It just went from bad to worse. I’m sorry.”

“Well, they totally think you are using me and that you are mental. I had to agree to have my management investigate you.”

“What? Are you really going to do that?”

“Why not? I should do that as a practice anyway.”

Kris looked at Adam, “You are going to have me investigated? You actually think I am trying to use you?”

“Well, it does seem awfully coincidental that you…”

“Saved your drunk, diva ass from stripping in front of paparazzi? Agreed to a crazy job offer, you made? Spent almost every waking moment with you for three months and you still think I am trying to hurt you?”

Adam just shrugged, “What’s the difference. If you have nothing to hide, then they won’t find anything. Besides, it’s only fair since I am a celebrity so know everything about me. Look, as a rock star I have to take certain precautions. Don’t take it too personally. I am sure it will be fine. Do you want to meet go to Bardot’s? Some of my friends are meeting there.”

“No, thanks. My ‘alienate people quota’ has been met for the day. You can go without me…unless of course you don’t trust me alone in your house. Seeing as the police check hasn’t been done, you can’t be sure I am not a cat burglar.”

Adam laughed, “You are way too clumsy for that. Why did you tell my mother we were fuck-buddies?”

“I panicked. I felt like I was going down in flames and I guess I was hoping to spontaneously combust.”

“How did you ever get engaged making that kind of impression on parents? Even in my leather and lace, I do a better job meeting the folks.”

“I’m really sorry, Adam. I really wanted to make a good first impression and obviously that didn’t happen. You are right I think it’s better if we just tell people we are friends.”

“Yeah, I don’t think you should use the term fuck-buddy to people. It is kind of crass. If it is any consolation, I think Neil liked you.”

“It’s not.”

Adam shrugged. “Well, I have to make an appearance at Bardot’s. You can drop me off and then I’ll catch a ride home.”

They got in the car and Kris drove according to Adam’s directions. They pulled up in front of a nightclub with beautiful people lined up. Kris felt insecure, “Are you going to come home tonight?”

Adam laughed, “Of course, my favorite fuck-buddy is there.” Adam leaned over and kissed Kris gently on the lips, “I’ll come home in a couple hours. You can make up for you abysmal behavior at dinner with great sex. Drive safe.”

Kris watched Adam get out of the car and immediately be fawned over. Kris was depressed about the evening and felt like it was more than apparent they would never make it in the real world. Neil was right, he was nothing put a paid distraction. He needed to get his life on track.

Kris found himself waiting up for Adam. He watched the clock strike midnight, one am, two am, three am and finally right before four am he heard two cars pull up. Kris watched as about eight people, including Adam tumbled out of the cars and went into the house. Apparently Adam had taken the party back to the house. A few minutes later, Kris heard splashing and saw the said eight people skinny dipping. Well, so much for laps in the morning.

Kris continued to spy and noticed a pretty, blonde boy by Adam. Kris became nauseous when he saw a familiar sight. The boy went down on his knees and started giving Adam a blowjob. Adam’s hands went around the boys head. Kris held his breath hoping Adam would stop him. After a few seconds, Kris started breathing again. Of course, Adam didn’t stop him. Adam was a slut and already professed he was not going to be monogamous. Kris felt a tear go down his cheek as he watched Adam throw his head back and cum on the boys chest. Afterwards, Adam just threw a towel at the guy and jumped in the pool with his other friends.

Kris moved away from the window and just sat on the bed. He was numb. Adam was never going to change and this is what it would be like between them. Adam doing whatever he pleased and Kris standing by watching. Kris climbed back in bed and just cried hoping the emotional release would lead to sleep.

An hour later, Kris heard the bedroom door open and Adam come in. He plopped on the bed still wet from the pool, “Hey there, cute guy. Why are you hiding up here?”

“I am not hiding I am sleeping. You are getting the bed wet.”

Adam giggled, “Yeah, how about I get you wet instead.” Adam licked his cheek.

Kris shoved him away, “Go back to your party, Adam.” It was obvious Adam was very wasted.

“I want a private party now with my cute guy.”

“You are drunk or high.”

“A little of both actually. You want some?”

“No, I want you to leave.”

Adam pouted, “It’s my house and you are my…fuck-buddy. You are supposed to fuck me.”

“Well, I think there is a blonde guy downstairs that is up for the task.”

Adam shook his head, “No, I want you. You make me feel good. I like fucking you more than anyone else. Don’t you want to fuck me?”

“No, Adam, I don’t. You let that guy suck your cock ten feet from our window.”

Adam was trying to fix his hair in the mirror and just said matter of factly, “It’s my window. You are just borrowing it.”

 _True enough._ Kris got up and started to pull his jeans on. Adam tried to stop him, “Hey, you are going the wrong way. You are supposed to be getting naked not dressed.”

Kris was worried Adam was too wasted. A six foot, horny, wasted Adam was a threat and Kris was scared, “I said NO!”

Adam abruptly stopped and looked at Kris confused, “You don’t want me anymore?”

“No, I don’t.”

“Fine, I hate you then! You made me fall for you and now you don’t even want me. You are a mean person. I should have listened to everyone that told me you were bad news. I hope you get adult acne.” Adam tried to storm out of the room but must have got dizzy because he opted to just plop down on the ottoman instead.

Kris wasn’t sure what to do with that drunken outburst. Kris had no idea what Adam was on so he went by him. “Adam, what did you take?”

Adam shrugged, “I don’t know. I have some vodka, some pot and some pills. It’s your fault. Why don’t you like me anymore? I’m still rich and famous.”

Adam suddenly seemed young and vulnerable, “I do like you and it’s not because you are rich and famous. I like you because you are smart, funny and hot. I’m mad at you because I saw that blond guy suck your cock.”

Adam seemed to try and process the information, “Did you want him to suck yours too?”  
Obviously, Adam didn’t process it correctly. “I could ask him…”

“Adam, I don’t want some stranger touching me. That is not going to make me less mad.” Adam put his head in his hands and Kris just shook his head. Adam was far too wasted to be reasoned with. This was Las Vegas all over again. Luckily, Adam wasn’t a total drug addict and it seemed he only indulged on special occasions. Hopefully, he would pass out soon.

Adam looked up, “Before I had my cute guy, I was lonely. Don’t get me wrong, I could snap my fingers and three men would drop to their knees just to suck my cock. Gorgeous twinks were beating down my door. In fact-“

“I get the point, Adam.”

Adam seemed to get confused for a moment but then continued, “Yeah, so I had all these hot men but I felt kind of empty. I never even listened to their names. But, then even before the sex, you would sleep in my bed and I wasn’t lonely anymore. I don’t want to be lonely again.”

Kris almost fell down from shock at Adam’s admission. Sure he wouldn’t admit it in the morning but at least for tonight, Adam was opening up. Kris needed to know, “So why did you let that guy suck your cock when I was up here?”

Adam shrugged, “I forgot where the stairs were. Do you think the fur on my boots are all from one animal?”

Adam had obviously moved on to a new topic. Kris went over, “I don’t know but why don’t you come back to bed and get some sleep. I think you are going to have a rough morning tomorrow.”

“OK, do you want have sex now? I’m already naked.”

“I see that. You lay down and then we’ll see.”

Adam nodded and jumped in the bed. Kris went in the bathroom hoping Adam would just pass out now that he was in bed. Kris came out and Adam eyes were wide open, “I waited for you, cute guy whose name I don’t feel like saying. Can we have sex now?”

Kris laughed, “OK, Glambert, but I think I’ll take the top tonight.”

Adam seemed to mull it over, “Ok, I’ll take the bottom then. I’ll be your twink.” Adam set himself off into hysterics. Kris just shook his head and was convinced it was going to be a long night.


	4. Chapter 4

Kris woke up at eleven having finally fell asleep just as the sun was rising. Adam had kept him up until almost seven AM talking about nonsense. Kris was sure Adam was going to wake up feeling miserable between the booze and he drugs. Kris went downstairs and noticed some bodies passed out in the living room. Kris went to the kitchen and made some coffee. As it was brewing, he heard someone enter. Kris recognized the man immediately from the photos of Adam kissing a man when he one American Idol. It was Brad Bell, Adam’s infamous first love. Of course, Kris, would never admit to knowing that but nevertheless he did.

“Do you want some coffee?”

Brad looked him up and down, “Please, where is Adam?”

“He’s still sleeping. What did you all give Adam last night?”

“Adam is a big boy and takes what he wants. He showed up in a pretty bad mood and decided to get shit faced. Jacob had ecstasy and I think he gave Adam a couple hits. Who are you?”

“Kris Allen, I help Adam out on tour.”

Brad nodded, “You are the dude from Vegas?”

Kris nodded wondering what Adam had said about them, “You are his ex-boyfriend?”

Brad nodded, “Yes and one of his best friends. Are you in the industry?”

“Nope. I used to live in Arkansas and I was a manager of a retail store.”

Brad just looked at him funny, “How…arbitrary. So what’s your deal are you a Glambert or looking to break into music? Or is is just fun being a part of the entourage that surrounds Adam?”

Kris became pissed off, “Why does everyone think I am using Adam? I am not even pursuing music at the moment. Adam and I are friends.”

“Take it easy, billy-bob. I care about Adam so I am just checking you out. Since he has become famous he has mostly acquaintances or one night stands. In case you haven’t noticed, Adam can be rather defensive and difficult these days.”

Kris sat on the stool wishing he had gone to NY, “Whatever. His mother already hates me so you may as well dislike me too.”

Brad sat down too, “Leila? How could you get on Leila’s bad side? That woman is one of the nicest people ever and always so accepting? What did you do?”

Kris squirmed, “Nothing, I was nervous and just said stupid stuff. Let’s just drop it.”

A couple more people wandered into the kitchen including the blonde guy. Kris hated him. He looked exactly like the type Adam generally hooked up with on tour. They guy came over and looked Kris up and down, “Who are you? I don’t remember you from last night.”

Kris became immediately jealous, “I am dating Adam but I decided not to come out last night. Who are you?”

“Adam said he was single and I am the guy he hooked up with last night. Looks like you have been replaced with a younger, sleeker model.”

Brad was looking at Kris weirdly but then laughed, “Kyle you will be lucky if Adam even remembers your name. Hate to break it to you but Adam is a player and you are just one of a long list of twinks he samples for a night.” Brad turned to Kris, “You and Adam are dating? Funny my gaydar is not pinging at all. I totally pegged you as straight. Are you just fucking with us?”

Before Kris could answer, a very hung over Adam came downstairs. He looked over, “What the fuck happened last night and why are there still people here?”

Brad smiled, “You got totally trashed and insisted the party come back here.”

Adam grabbed Kris’ coffee and took a sip. Kyle went up to Adam, “Goodmorning, Adam?”

“Who the fuck are you?”

The guy looked crushed, “I am Kyle. We hooked up last night?”

Adam grimaced, “Really? I let YOU fuck me? What did you do it when I was unconscious?”

Kris pushed Adam, “That would be me that did the fucking. You just let this guy suck your cock.”

Adam looked suddenly relieved, “Thank god. I was worried I’d done something really stupid.” He looked at Kris, “I must have been really wasted to let you be on top. You obviously haven’t mastered the technique because I am feeling pretty sore.”

“Fuck you, Adam. If you don’t like it, maybe you shouldn’t get so fucked up that you don’t know what is going on.”

“Kris, I have the headache from hell, stop yelling at me. Brad, make sure all these people go away, I am going back to bed.”

Kyle looked at Adam hopefully, “Do you want some company?”

“Definitely not. Look, whatever your name is, I was pretty wasted so for whatever happened your welcome but there won’t be a repeat performance.” Adam walked away. Although Kris didn’t like the way Adam treated men, he was happy Kyle got blown off.

Brad looked at Kris, “Wow, I am totally going to have to have my gaydar adjusted. Listen, tonight Adam agreed to come out with me and some of our friends from back in the day. Make sure he doesn’t blow us off and come out with him. It’ll be a good time.”

Brad effectively herded out the partiers from the night before. Adam’s housekeeper showed up and after cursing in Spanish began cleaning up the mess. Kris headed upstairs with water and aspirin. Adam was sleeping so Kris just placed it beside his bed. Kris went out walking and returned back to the house a few hours later. Adam was in sweats vacantly looking in the fridge while talking on his cell phone, “Ma…could you save the lecture until I am not hungover…I said I would take care of it…” Adam glanced at Kris and smiled mischievously, “I know he is a bad influence but I’ll be careful…I gotta go…I’ll call you tomorrow…love you too.”

Adam looked at Kris, “That was Mom warning me how dangerous you are and what a bad influence you were on innocent me.”

Kris rolled his eyes, “Says, the man who was high off his ass last night having sex with strangers.”

Adam laughed but then became more serious, “Sorry about the blowjob thing. I’m pretty easy when I’m on E. I am just glad it was you I slept with. In all seriousness, you need to use more lube or something.”

Kris stared at Adam, “You obviously do not remember anything, do you?”

“Nah, everything’s kind of hazy after I got to Bardot’s. Frankly, unless something hits the papers I don’t want to know. You know, you really shouldn’t let me go out alone like that. I could have-“

“You are a grown man, Adam. You need to take responsibility for yourself. Besides, I’m on holiday. However, since you are pathetically staring into your fridge for the last ten minutes, I will make you some food.”

Adam smiled, “Thank god because I was getting tired holding the door open and pretending to decide between pickles or cheese.”

“Are you still on your crazy diet or do you want eggs?”

Adam thought for a minute, “I want French toast.”

“OK, sit down and just drink your coffee.”

Adam sat down and Kris proceeded to make them French toast. “So who were all those people last night?”

Adam shrugged, “Some were my friends. You obviously, met Brad. He is an ex-boyfriend turned good friend. Before you ask, no we don’t have sex anymore. Listen, I was really high last night so I am sorry if I did anything stupid or said anything mean. I know I can be an asshole when I am E. Let me make it up to you. Tonight we can do anything you want to do.”

“Brad said you made plans to go out with friends tonight and made me promise to remind you.”

“Shit, that’s right. These are my close friends from my theater days. They are really cool and I think they you will get along with them.”

“Just like your mother?”

Adam laughed, “Let’ hope it goes better than that train wreck.”

Kris was almost positive it wouldn’t but he agreed to go anyway. If it was another bad night, he would take it as a sign and finally move on. Adam felt better by the evening and insisted Kris “dress up” and was relentless at getting him to agree. Having not slept great the night before, Kris caved and let Adam dress him. Kris looked in the mirror and felt like a jerk. He looked like one of Adam’s typical twinks and thought about how far down the ladder of dignity he had fallen. To make matters worse Adam insisted on eyeliner and fruity lip gloss, “You are so fucking hot dressed like a gay man.”

Adam kissed him passionately and then reapplied the lip gloss. Kris just sat there pouting and Adam kissed him again, “You better just take the gloss with you since I am going to keep messing it up.”

They arrived at a swanky bar. Brad came right over, “You brought him! Good job.” Brad looked Kris up and down “Shit my gaydar really was off. You are gay and actually pretty hot.” Brad grabbed Kris’ hand and turned to Adam, “I am going to introduce Kris to everyone while you just keep drooling after him.”

Adam flipped him off and then turned his attention to the cocktail waitress. Kris was surprised Adam’s friends seemed to immediately accept him and like him. Adam also seemed to have checked his Diva demon at the door and acted more human. Adam sat next to Kris at a table with everyone and kept placing a hand on his thigh or shoulder while talking. A few hours later the bar transitioned to more of a nightclub when a dj arrived and music became more danceable.

Brad grabbed Kris’ hand and turned to Adam, “Mind if I dance with your boyfriend?”

“He’s not my boyfriend, Brad.”

“A rose by any other name…my commitment-phobic friend. Come on Kris, this will be fun.”

Kris wasn’t the greatest dancer but what the hell. Brad was very grabby on the dance floor but Kris could tell it was just his nature. He also noticed, Adam staring at them and displaying signs of jealousy. Kris felt like laughing because of the irony of it all. Adam was jealous from him dancing with his former lover. That was rich.

Brad smiled, “I am glad you are in Adam’s life. After Todd, I didn’t think he was ever going to fall in love again.”

“Let’s not get carried away. He was blowing some blonde last night.”

Brad shrugged, “Big deal. I doubt Adam even knows his name. Don’t worry about the low hanging fruit it’ll eventually just rot and fall off the tree. I watched you tonight and I could tell you are totally in love with him and he’s into you.”

“His mother hates me, I have no life and he treats me like shit. How is this gonna work?”

Brad shrugged, “Let’s not split hairs. Anyway, looks like your boyfriend lost his battle with self control and feigning indifference.”

Kris felt Adam’s hands come around his hips and pull him against his warm body, “Mind if I cut in?”

Kris turned and Adam immediately kissed him deeply and then kissed his neck, “You are so fucking beautiful, Kristopher.” Adam’s voice sounded huskier than usual and immediately made Kris cock jump. It was as if they were the only two on the dance floor. After another few minutes of grinding together, Adam suggested they leave.

“I love my friends and all but I’d rather be alone with you at home. Let’s just sneak out.”

Adam grabbed Kris’ hand and led him out of the club. They hit the sidewalk and were immediately ambushed by paparazzi. On tour they always had security but now it was just him and Adam. Kris felt Adam pull him close protectively and address the paparrazzi, “Take it easy boys, we are just trying to have a quiet night.”

 _“Is that your new boyfriend?”  
“Do you like to spank him too?”  
“Does Adam give it to you rough?” _

Kris was starting to shake with anger and wished they would shut up. Adam whispered, “Ignore them they are just trying to get a reaction.” They reached the valet and Adam calmly handed the ticket. The paparazzi were still snapping photos. _Kris wished he wasn’t dressed so outrageously and wearing fucking makeup!_

 _“Isn’t he the boyfriend from pre idol days?”  
“How you like the glambulge pretty boy?  
“Does he like to watch you suck other men? You can suck me pretty boy.” _

Adam suddenly pushed the guy to the ground, “You better not say one more fucking word to him.”

A couple bouncers from the club finally ran over and a cop car pulled up which created even more of a scene. The paparazzi guy claimed Adam had attacked him and he wanted to press charges. Adam launched into a full diva fit which ended up pissing the cops off and getting Adam handcuffed. Between the TMZ video camera and the twenty cameras, it was safe to say it was going to hit the papers.

Adam’s friends came out of the club and ran over. Brad came over as they were guiding Adam to the cop car, “What is going on?”

Adam looked over, “Brad, make sure Kris gets home ok. I have to go to the precinct and make a statement. Kris, call Tony and tell him what happened.”

Adam was pushed into the police car and driven away. Brad shoved Kris into Adam’s car and proceeded to drive them to Adam’s house. Kris didn’t want to know why Brad had a key to Adam’s house, but was grateful nonetheless. On the way over Kris had called Tony and explained what happened. Tony was furious but said he would take care of it. Adam’s house phone rang and Brad answered, “Hi Leila…Adam’s fine he is just making a statement…we already called his management…Kris is here…uh-huh…ok…I’ll tell him.”

Brad turned to Kris, “That was Leila and you were right she does hate you and blames you for getting her son arrested. She told me to tell you to get out of Adam’s life. Do you want a beer?”

Kris felt miserable, “No, I should have done something-“

“Adam is a seasoned celebrity and has been dealing with paparazzi for years. He knows better than to react or mouth off to a cop. Anyway, it’s not like he’s going to jail for this and its publicity. Win-win. Unlike Leila, I know Adam is not a sweet, innocent little boy. In fact, he can be quite the asshole when he is feeling threatened. I actually think you are exactly what Adam needs so I am on your side.”

Kris looked at Brad skeptically. Definitely not a typical ally and perhaps, not one to be fully trusted still it was better than none. An hour later, Adam came through the front door and Brad immediately handed him a healthy martini. Adam downed it and sat down on the couch, “I don’t know what was worse, getting arrested or listening to Tony’s lecture on the way home.”

Kris sat down by Adam, “Do you think there will be a bad media fall out?”

Adam looked at Kris like he was dumb, “What do you think? I am going to have to do damage control over the next few days so I guess my vacation is over. Needless, to say don’t talk to any media and definitely don’t tell people we are sleeping together.”

Kris wasn’t sure why Adam was so adamant about denying their relationship, “What’s the difference if people know we are dating?”

Adam became annoyed, “What are you looking for 15 minutes of fame? I don’t want people thinking I have a boyfriend when I don’t. This is already bad enough.”

Kris looked down and Brad spoke up, “As someone who knows better than most, being known as your ‘lover’ is not the greatest gift on the planet. Get off your high horse and stop being an asshole to Kris. He didn’t attract the media, you did. You pushed the paparazzi and you mouthed off to the cop. Take some responsibility for a change and stop being a fucking diva!”

Adam became mad, “Fuck you, Brad! Why are you defending him? As tempting as it is, I’m not planning on having a threesome.”

Brad laughed, “As if. Adam, you may be pretty good in bed but don’t think everyone on the planet is dying to climb in it. Just remember when all is said and done, I still dumped you back in the day and I still wouldn’t take you back. You should just be grateful, Kris, here is stupid enough to be with you and pray to God he never wizens up!”

Adam just collapsed on the couch. Brad kissed Kris on the cheek, “I am going to call a cab and head home. I am not sticking around to be punching bag for Adam’s bad mood.”

Brad walked out. Kris knew he should too but Adam was looking pathetically cute. Kris wished he could resist vulnerable!Adam. Kris sat down next to Adam, “Are you ok? It must have been scary being driven away in a cop car.”

Adam turned to Kris and just nodded. Kris put his arm around Adam, “Why don’t we just go upstairs and get done for bed. You have a whole management team to deal with the media. Your mother called maybe you should call her back. It might make you feel better”

Adam shook his head, “Nah, she’ll make it worse. You are making me feel better. How come you put up with my outbursts?”

“Like Brad said, I am stupid.”

Adam kissed him on the cheek, “I think you are wonderful.”


	5. Chapter 5

The next day was crazy. Every tabloid in the world featured the story of Adam getting arrested for attacking a reporter who had gotten fresh with his boyfriend. The media discovered Kris’ identified and portrayed him as a white trash loser that couldn’t even make it as a retail clerk. Worse than that, Adam’s fans hated him and were saying that he was a gold digger and unworthy of their rock god. Kris hated the negative publicity and was humiliated as embarrassing photos of himself began to crop up. By noon he freaked, “This totally sucks! They got a hold of a photo of me in a potato sack race!”

Adam rolled his eyes, “You know, Kris this isn’t all about you. I could get sued for pushing that guy. Luckily Lane is coming back to deal with this mess but until then how about focusing on the rock star in the room and stop being so self-fish.”

Kris jaw dropped to the floor. _Oh no he didn’t._ Adam had no less than three publicists, two label executives, a lawyer and various other personnel from his label focusing on ensuring Adam came out smelling like roses but no one seemed to give a crap about Kris, including Adam!

As if it couldn’t get worse, Leila dropped by to add moral support. She immediately gave Kris a dirty look and hugged her son, “I am so sorry, baby. It is not fair you always get such a hard time especially since you are so good to everyone.”

Kris felt like puking but just stood there. He had been told to printout articles as they appeared on the web so the experts could have timely information. Kris saw a photo of him and Julie dressed as raggedy Ann and Andy from a Halloween party a few years ago. He truly wanted to crawl in a hole. Adam looked over, “Will you please stop looking at clowns and focus.”

Kris lost it, “Fuck you, Adam. This is my life too-“

Leila gasped, “And, he is abusive too? Adam, you don’t deserve to be treated like this. Mr. Allen, you have no right speaking to my son like that.”

“It’s ok, Mom. Kris has a temper sometimes but he is working on it.”

Kris just stared at Adam and then out of sheer frustration threw the apple he was holding at Adam’s head. Leila pushed Kris, “How dare you try and hurt my son? Adam does he hit you? I have half a mind to report him to the police.”

Kris couldn’t believe Adam was not defending him and acting like he was the Diva! Leila Lambert would never accept him and Adam seemed perfectly happy to demonize Kris. Kris didn’t even know how to defend himself, “Maybe I should just go.”

Leila concurred, “Good riddance.”

Adam wasn’t even paying attention because one of the people from management was showing him a picture, “Shit, it looks like I have a pimple.”

Kris needed to get out of there. He went in the back yard by the pool to calm down. Kris thought about his options which were few since he had no car and the media was lurking about. Kris just sat down on a lounge chair. Adam came outside an hour later, “What are you swimming? Kris, we are in the middle of a scandal. This isn’t the time to frolic.”

Kris looked up at Adam, “I was getting in the way and I was tired of being accused of domestic violence.”

Adam laughed, “That was kind of funny with my mother. She totally thinks you are a creep.”

“How is that funny, Adam? Your mother hates me and she is going to tell you to dump me.”

Adam raised a brow, “How can I dump you when we are not boyfriends? Anyway, who cares if my mother hates you?”

“I care. She is your mother and I am sure her opinion counts.”

“Not really considering she is divorced. What does she know about picking good men? Anyway with this scandal going on I can’t spend all day dealing with your manic behavior. Why don’t you come back inside and try and to be part of the solution?”

“I hate you. I really, really hate you sometimes.”

Adam smiled, “That’s the spirit.”

Kris really did want to kill Adam but instead, just went back inside. Leila continued to give him dirty looks throughout the afternoon. Tony arrived around four and immediately laid into Kris, “Aren’t you paid to keep him mellow? What were you doing when he was telling a cop off and getting arrested? No wonder you got fired from Dairy Queen you are fucking incompetent.”

Kris didn’t even feel like defending himself nor did he want to keep looking at the internet. It was downright depressing. Adam was sitting on the couch getting a head rub from his mother and having his nails painted by some girl. Apparently, the situation was so dire they called the emergency manicurist.

At around dinner time, some of Adam’s friends came by including Brad. Leila kissed Brad hello and Kris heard her mumble, “I wish Adam and you would get back together so he wouldn’t have to deal with this crap anymore. Ever since you, he seems to have a penchant for losers. Are you seeing anyone?”

Brad just laughed, “Well, it isn’t easy finding someone as sparkly as me. Excuse me, but I want to say hello to Kris.” Brad walked over despite Leila’s head shake. “How are you holding up, Kris? I saw the media got your name and all kinds of information. Are you totally freaking out?”

Kris nodded, “Yeah, I feel like everything I ever did is about to get published.”

“Yeah, I know I went through it and it is scary. Luckily, I like attention but you must be hating it.” Brad patted him on his back reassuringly.

Adam came over, “Aren’t you going to see how I am doing? I’m the one that practically spent the night in jail.”

Brad looked Adam up and down, “Please, bitch, you were in a police station for a fucking hour. Did you even see the inside of a cell?”

“I was in handcuffs.”

“Like that’s a first. Anyway, you have a room full of people being paid to console you, I think Kris needs a shoulder more.”

Adam obviously didn’t see it that way and snapped at Kris, “I don’t know why you are acting up Kris. It’s not like your life was that great before. Besides, once I explain I am single nobody will even care who you are anymore.”

Kris and Brad just stared at Adam, appalled by his callous words. Brad grabbed Kris hand, “You don’t deserve this bullshit, Kris, and I am not going to let you take it. We are going back to my apartment so you can decompress. There are enough people coming in and out that we can sneak away.”

Adam became irate, “He is not leaving. He can’t leave. He needs to stay with me.”

“Too fucking bad, Adam. You are being a selfish, self centered, prick. Have you even thought about what Kris is feeling? You deal with fame all the time and are paid a shit load of money to do it. Kris is just a normal guy and suddenly he is all over the papers and the internet. Don’t you remember what that felt like when you were first on American Idol? Have you really gotten so jaded that you can’t even empathize? You really are a Diva.”

Adam looked at Brad, “You are just trying to cock block me. Kris, don’t abandon me at my hour of need. Please, stay.”

Kris almost caved but Brad squeezed his hand and turned to Adam, “No, he is coming with me. Your manic manipulations are not going to work this time. You can have him back when you decide to become human again. Goodbye, Adam.”

Leila came over as Brad started pulling Kris out, “Brad, where are you going?”

“Away from your son. I can only stomach him in limited doses these days.”

“Brad, Adam needs your support. Ever since Todd it has been one thing after another.”

“Leila, most of the world would kill to have Adam’s problems so forgive me for not being sympathetic. He is living a charmed life and for the record he had plenty of flaws before Todd came along. Why do you think I dumped him? Oh that’s right, Adam never admits his part of things.”

“You cheated on him, Brad.”

“Of course, I am sure Adam had a real sob story about it which conveniently left out all the twinks he had while touring with wicked. I hate to tell you this but your son hasn’t found anyone because he is an asshole to men and if he doesn’t grow up he is going to die alone.”

Kris could tell Adam was deeply hurt by Brad’s words even though he simply just walked away. Brad pulled Kris out of the house and they ran to his car without getting noticed by the paparazzi. Kris was envious of Brad and how he stood up to Adam. Unlike Kris, Brad had self respect which is why he was an ex-boyfriend while Kris would just be the ex-fuckbuddy.

“Leila is right, you should be with Adam again. You don’t take any of his bullshit.”

Brad looked at Kris, “What are you insane? Adam and I would kill each other. You and he are much more suited.”

“I just let him walk all over me.”

“I agree you need to set boundaries but don’t be like me. All I did tonight was shut him down. Adam needs someone patient, someone that can put up with some of his moods. I am sure he is going to come crawling back to you once he realizes you really left. He is like a spoiled two year old that has everyone running as soon as he sniffles.”

“Still, he did just go through an ordeal.”

“Adam doesn’t give a crap about bad publicity or even people’s opinions. He is a drama queen and is just milking this. I guarantee by midnight he will be bored with this scene and kick everyone out. Tomorrow, he will have moved on. Now, forget about him and let’s spend some time taking care of Kris.”

They went to Brad’s apartment, ordered pizza and watched artsy movies that Kris didn’t really understand. Still, it was nice to just feel normal. Cale and his brother called him and basically made fun of his sudden fame. By midnight, Kris was feeling better. Brad made up the couch and went to bed. At two in the morning his phone rang, “Hello.”

“Ok, you made your point. Now, come home.”

Kris sighed, “Adam, it is in two in the morning and I am sleeping. What do you want?”

“I want you to come home. You know, I hate sleeping alone. Look, I forgive you for walking out on me-”

Kris hung up the phone and just powered it off. He was not going to listen to Adam manipulate the truth and blame him. Brad was right, Adam was spoiled. Kris was almost asleep when he heard Brad’s home phone ring and an irate Brad pick up and slam the phone without even answering. Next, Brad’s cell rang. Brad yelled to Kris, “He is a persistent fucker isn’t he?”

Kris was glad Adam was calling but also worried he would lose interest, “What time are you driving me back to Adam’s? I think the morning is better.”

Brad came in the living room, “Dude, you are not going back to Adam’s tomorrow. He needs to understand you aren’t a given.”

Kris wasn’t too comfortable with staying away indefinitely, “I thought he needed someone patient to put up with some of his moods.”

Brad sighed, “Some of them not all of them. At least don’t crawl back until the sun goes down. Can you hold out that long?”

Kris nodded, surely he could scrounge up enough pride to hold out a day.

Brad smiled, “Good, because you need to go out without being in Adam’s shadow. When was the last time you did something without him?”

Kris tried to remember but mostly when Adam had something to do, he sat around waiting for his return or planned an activity that would finish before Adam returned. He really was pathetic.

“Your silence says it all. So today, I’ll take you to Venice Beach and then we will meet some people in Hollywood at this cool place where people can get up and sing with a band. It is a lot of fun. OK?”

“I don’t have any stuff?”

“We are close to the same size. You can find something cool to wear from my stuff. Now let’s make the most of your day and have fun.”

Kris remembered the media fallout, “What if we get caught on camera together?”

“So what? Is there some reason we can’t hang out together? If Adam didn’t want you to hang with other people, he should have manned up and said you were a couple. However, he said he was single so therefore you are a free man.”

Kris really like Brad and wondered what Adam was like before the fame and betrayals. “Was Adam much different before American Idol and the fame?”

Brad thought about it, “He had the same flaws just not as concentrated. When we dated we were both each other’s first love so in the beginning it was amazing but we made a lot of mistakes. Adam put his career first and took a job touring with a theater group despite my begging him not to. I resented him for leaving me and started partying more. He was lonely on tour and started sleeping around. Eventually, I just got fed up and dumped him. Our relationship had been like a rollercoaster and even our friendship is a bit too volatile. Trust me, neither Adam nor I would ever consider getting back together. I think if the right person came along, Adam could eventually settle down but how long that would take, I don’t know.”

Kris was beginning to think it would take an eternity and wasn’t sure he could wait. Then, again he didn’t seem to be able to stay away either. Brad smiled, “Oh another piece of advice, never dress up as Raggedy Ann and Andy again. That was just…sad.”


	6. Chapter 6

Kris went back to sleep and woke up mid morning feeling surprisingly refreshed. Brad was already awake and had coffee brewing. Brad smiled, “So what are we going to do on Kris Allen day?”

Kris smiled, “I don’t know. I haven’t research what are the top attractions. That’s what I usually do and then I pick the ones Adam won’t hate.”

“Well, today you can pick the ones he would hate since he isn’t coming.”

Kris laughed, “I’d like to go to Knottsberry Farm.”

“Home of the boysenberry. You got it. We’ll stuff ourselves with corndogs and funnel cakes and then go on a bunch of spinning rides.”

Kris laughed but was excited to do something he wanted to do for a change. Brad seemed to be the type that would have fun no matter what he did. Kris borrowed a pair of jeans and managed to find a plaid shirt in Brad’s closet. Brad had been appalled claiming one of the handymen he slept with must have left it. Kris wasn’t buying it based on the perfect fit. Brad dressed down but with some sparkle. On the drive to Anaheim, Kris answered his cell out of habit when it rang. He heard Brad pound on the dashboard, “Here we go.”

“Kris, its Adam, where are you?”

“You know where I am because you called Brad’s house last night.”

“Well you are not there because today I am AT Brad’s house. When are you coming home? I am not supposed to be seen in public with you so chasing you down like this is ridiculous.”

“Then don’t do it. Besides, your house is not “home”. We don’t live together and according to you we also aren’t dating.”

“What are you a lawyer now? You sound like Brad, always nitpicking at shit.”

“Do you want anything else, Adam?”

“Tell your friends to stop talking to the media. Your brother just told ET that you work for me as a personal assistant and then your brilliant friend Cale added that you were paid to entertain me. Congratulations, the public now thinks you are a paid escort.”

Kris almost dropped the phone, “What! I spoke to them last night and they didn’t mention anything.”

“I think they were interviewed this morning. You need to get them in the box. Also, Tony wants to know if you would sue me if I fired you.”

“You would fire me?”

“No, I said Tony wanted to know. Kris, will you please come ho-back to my house so we can deal with this new development.”

Kris covered the mouth piece, “My family spoke to the media and now they think I am an escort. He wants me to go to his house to deal with the scandal.”

“He has a management team and they aren’t going to give a shit about your thoughts on the matter. Adam doesn’t need to hold your hand to refute the allegations. Let him just twitter something. You need a break.”

Kris got back on the phone, “I can’t come there until much later.”

Brad grabbed the phone, “Adam, Kris is with me and we are getting on with our lives. Stop calling and trying to fuck up our day…none of your business…Knottsberry Farm…too bad. We’ll bring you back some boysenberry jam.”

Brad handed the phone back to Kris. Adam was still on the line, “Adam, I’ll call my brother and tell him to shutup.”

“Are you interested in Brad?”

“I think he is really nice.”

“It’s a total act. I am much more your type.”

“Really? I was kind of hoping a selfish, insensitive asshole was not my ideal. But, based on my dating history perhaps it is.”

Adam made an irritated sound, “Look, I am sorry. Will you come home now?”

“What are you sorry for?”

Adam was silent for a minute, “Everything?”

“You don’t even know what you did and that is part of the problem. You don’t even realize when you are being a dick so how will you ever change?”

“Look, I am sorry I only thought about the effect this scandal had on my life. I am sorry you are being dragged through the mud because of me. I am sorry I have to be seen with other men.”

Wait, what was that last one? “What?”

“Oh, management advised me to go party with a bunch of hot men to diffuse the idea that you’re special. But, I won’t enjoy it and I’ll think about you while I’m doing it.”

Kris became infuriated especially because Adam’s tone was so chipper and nonchalant as he revealed he planned to fool around with other men. “Great, maybe I can help too. If we see any media at the Park, I’ll be sure and molest Brad.”

“Kris, you can’t be seen with Brad because he is my ex. That would make me look bad.”

“I can’t be with Brad because of how it reflects on you?”

Brad took the phone again, “Adam, it’s not all about you. I am sorry you didn’t treat Kris well especially because he is really hot. At first, I thought he was sort of conservative and straight but now…He is really turning me on and I think we look good together.”

Brad laughed and turned to Kris, “He hung up. Maybe we’ll be able to enjoy our day now.”

Kris looked at Brad nervously, “You don’t really think I am hot, do you?”

“Of course I do because you look like me. However, relax, I am not really interested in you like that. I mean I’d sleep with you but it would just be a casual thing. Did you want a full service date?”

Kris’ heart sped up, “No, I-I just want to be…friends.”

“You are so funny. Anyway, we are here so let’s enjoy ourselves.”

Kris quickly forgot about everything but having fun. Brad was a good sport and Kris loved going on rides. They stayed at the park until closing. They both had turned off their cell phones so there were no interruptions throughout the day. They got back in the car exhausted. Kris checked his messages. He had two calls from Tony, three from Lane and about ten calls from family and friends. Kris called Lane back, “Hi Lane. how was your vacation?”

“Short. Kris, where the fuck are you? Adam is having a total melt down and has sent Tony after you.”

“I am just laying low. I saw he made a few statements insisting he was single and that I was nothing but a friend so I thought it best to stay away. It would be counterproductive for us to be seen together.”

“I agree but you could hide out in his house and be with him when he is home.”

It was like a light snapped on and Kris could see how truly pathetic that would be, “I could but I’d rather have a life. Don’t worry, I’ll be back in time for our flight back to Miami.”

“Kris, Adam is really getting upset. If you don’t call him or go to his house, there may not be a ticket for you to go back to Miami.”

“That’s his choice. Oh, you can tell Tony to relax, I won’t sue Adam if he fires me. Goodnight, Lane.”

Kris hung up and turned to Brad, “I think this plan might backfire. Lane thinks I might not have a ticket back to Miami.”

Brad laughed, “Please, Adam would never give up so easy. He is buffing and you need to call him on his bluff. What do you say we go out to this bar I know and continue to enjoy our day?”

Kris agreed and they went to a bar on Sunset that had Karaoke with a live band. They went over by some eclectic LA people. Brad introduced him to his friends and Kris sat down. As the night wore on Kris decided to sing a song. He went up and sang “Renegade”. Kris was surprised when the whole place enthusiastically applauded. Kris went back to the table and Brad slapped him on the back, “Only shit you are incredible. Cass here is going to audition for American Idol tomorrow you should totally go with him.”

Kris laughed, “Yeah right. That would be funny since I am currently being portrayed as a former American Idol’s whore.”

“Exactly, maybe that would give you a leg up. You gotta strike when the iron’s hot.”

“Adam would be furious and he would really fire me.”

“So what? This is a chance for you to have a life. No offense, but planning outings for rock stars is not really a career nor is there a high demand. For once in your life take a chance. Besides if you don’t make it, Adam won’t even find out for months. The tour will be over before the show even airs.”

“Are you going to try out?”

“Nah, I just got a contract to be in a couple TV shows. I like acting better than music.”

They went home at midnight and Kris slept for about five hours. He and Brad met Cassidy at six in the morning and went to the LA convention center for the audition. While on line, Brad was checking out the web on his blackberry. “Looks, like Adam got over being alone.”

Kris looked at the photos of Adam coming out of a nightclub with a hot guy on his arm and another photo of him making out with a guy in a restaurant. Kris just gave Brad the phone back, “Adam mentioned his label wanted him to be seen with other men.”

“Well, looks like he accomplished the mission. This is going to take forever.”

They had to sing for about three different people before they were allowed to sing for a producer. Both he and Cassidy had made it that far. Kris went in by one of the producers,

“Hey, aren’t you in the papers right now? You are dating Adam Lambert.”

“No, I just work on his tour. We are on break for a few days.”

“Cool. Let’s hear what you got. I hope it’s good because you would be great for ratings. Adam was our most successful contestant ever.”

“I hope you don’t judge me based on me knowing Adam.”

“You better hope I do because if I say no it’s the end of the road.”

Kris played his guitar and sang “Heartless”.

“The producer smiled, “You really are good. I would have given you a pass even if you weren’t friends with Adam.”

Kris’ cell phone rang while he was waiting to see the American idol judges. He debated on answering it since it might fuck with his mind. Still, he gave in, “Hello, Adam”

“Hi, are you still with Brad?”

“Sort of. I am out with him and Cassidy.”

“Where? I thought Cass was going to audition today for American Idol.”

“Yeah, we are here. He is doing well.”

“Cool, I really miss you, Kris. Do you have plans tonight?”

“I’m not sure we may be here a long time. Listen, I am sort of trying out too?” Kris prepared himself for Adam exploding. Kris had a feeling he was going to put him down and say he only got that far because they thought he was fucking Adam Lambert.

Adam laughed, “Really? How far have you gotten?”

“I just got through one of the producers and am waiting to sing for the judges.”

“That’s great, Kris. What are you going to sing?”

“I am going to sing “Heartless”. I sang it for the producer and he liked it.”

“I don’t picture you as an R&B artist but I am sure it will be great. Don’t get too nervous and imagine singing in front of friends instead of judges.”

“You don’t think they are going to just give me a spot because of you?”

“Maybe but after that you will have to earn your victories. Kris, even if you don’t make it I am proud of you for trying. I know I am not always the most generous person but I really hope you do well, cute guy. Good luck and call me as soon as you finish.”

Kris was shocked that Adam wasn’t pissed. Hell, he was even being supportive. Kris went in following Adam’s advice and killed it. He was given a yellow ticket and told he would be going to Hollywood in a month. Kris worried about the tour. If he quit, he would be out the twenty thousand leaving him broke and homeless.

Kris went by Brad and Cassidy. Unfortunately, Cassidy hadn’t made it past the producer but they were happy for Kris. Kris shook his head, “I will have to leave the tour for a week and maybe even quit it. I really can’t afford it.”

Brad hit him on the head, “Kris this is a chance of a lifetime. You WILL quit the tour and you WILL see this through. You can stay at my house and I will loan you some dough.”

Kris was grateful for Brad’s support and flet compelled to be honest, “Adam called. He knows I auditioned.”

“So then he won’t be totally shocked when you tell him why you are quitting. I am sure he wouldn’t deny you your chance to make it? Even he is not that big of an asshole.”

Kris nodded but still felt bad. Part of him didn’t want to leave the tour even if it meant becoming a star. He liked being with Adam even as a sort of kept man/hired hand. He liked sleeping with Adam’s body next to his. For the last two days, he had missed Adam something fierce. If he did this American Idol thing there was a good chance he would lose Adam forever. It was a bittersweet victory.

Kris called Adam feeling melancholy, “Hey, I made it to Hollywood week.”

“Congratulations! Why don’t you sound excited?”

“I am going to have to quit the tour.”

“Why? Hollywood week isn’t until the end of the summer. You have at least a month or two and the tour is only a month longer.”

Adam had a point and Kris needed the money if he was going to pursue this dream. “Your right I can probably finish the tour.”

Brad slammed on the breaks, “You need voice lessons and to be focusing on yourself not Adam. You are quitting the tour.”

Kris felt torn. Adam interrupted, “Tell Bradley to shut the fuck up. You are coming on tour and I am going to hire a vocal coach for you. You can practice while I am on stage. Hell, if you want real life experience, I’ll even let you come on stage. Come back to me and I will help you get ready. After all, what good is dating a former American Idol if you can’t even get some pointers.”

“I thought you were single.”

“I am but there is someone I am really interested in and I really hope he is still into me too.”

Kris knew it was stupid but he wanted to be with Adam really bad. “Yeah, well maybe you can prove it tonight.”

“Really, maybe I can make him some dinner and open a bottle of champagne to celebrate his success.”

Kris laughed, “Ok, he’ll be there in an hour.”

Kris hung up and turned to Brad, “I agreed to dinner.”

“Obviously. Well, at least you held out for almost two days. If he becomes a dick, you call me and I will pick you up. I am serious Kris, you can move in with me if need be so don’t take any shit from him.”

Kris kissed Brad on the cheek, “You are a good man Bradley Bell.”

“And don’t forget I’m hot too.”


	7. Chapter 7

Brad pulled in front of Adam’s house and turned to Kris, “Be careful, Kris. Adam is great at manipulating situations and obscuring the truth. Also, don’t let him get away with making out with men for ‘publicity’ bullshit. I put myself on your speed dial so at the first sign of divaness, call me.”

“Thanks.” Kris noticed there was extra security around the house and they had needed approval to let Brad’s car through the gates. Therefore, Adam knew he was there. Adam came outside as soon as they pulled up on the drive. Adam was wearing an apron that said “You can sauce me anytime,” in pink rhinestones. It was just so…Adam.

Brad came out of the car, “You better behave, Lambert, or I am taking him back.”

Adam gave Brad the finger and immediately hugged Kris. “How is my cute guy?”

It felt good to be close to Adam and he smelled amazing. Kris could feel himself responding but then remembered the photo of Adam tonguing a guy the night before. He extracted himself, “Fine, I’d like to take a shower before dinner.”

“Ok, you go on up and I’ll make sure Brad leaves, I mean say goodbye.”

Kris went in the house and noticed the dining room table was set for a romantic dinner for two. He went upstairs to the guest room and went in the shower. He stepped out of the bathroom and practically stumbled over Adam who was in his room looking at the folder he received from his audition. Adam smiled, “Hey there, gorgeous, do you feel better?”

“I feel cleaner. So how is the scandal going? Must be well since your nails look good.”

Adam shrugged indifferently. Kris could tell by Adam’s darkened eyes, he was distracted and turned on. Kris looked away and applied some gel in his hair. Adam came up behind him and started kissing his neck, “I am glad you came over. I feel like you have been away for ages.”

“Really? Based on the photos I saw you looked like you were far too busy to notice.”

Adam ran his tongue around Kris ear, “I was pining for you.” Kris’ resolve was definitely being compromised. Adam ran his hands down Kris chest and continued to kiss him. Kris was getting hard and quickly forgetting Adam’s bad behavior. He turned and Adam kissed him deeply before dropping to his knees. Kris was powerless as he watched Adam open his towel and run his tongue along his shaft. Realizing resistance was futile, Kris palced his hands on Adam’s head to help him balance. Adam took it as a green light and began blowing him in earnest. Before he knew it, Adam had maneuvered them to Kris bed and stripped out of his clothes.

“I missed you so much, baby.”

“I missed you too, Adam.”

Kris’ felt an onslaught of passion and emotion. He stared into Adam’s eyes as Adam breached him. Kris kissed him and pulled him in deeper. Adam rolled them over so Kris was on top but still impaled. Kris rode Adam hard and came as he felt Adam explode in him. Adam gently disengaged himself and removed the condom, “Every time we are together, it gets better and better. You really are becoming quite the homosexual.”

Kris wasn’t sure how to take that statement but decided to just assume it was a compliment. Kris suddenly remembered the photos, “Was I better than that brunette last night?”

“Much better.” Adam seemed to realize what he admitted to and quickly changed the subject, “I need to check on dinner.”

“Adam, did you fuck that guy last night?”

“Er…what guy?”

“The one you were making out with in the club?”

“Kris, we just had earth shattering sex, why are you picking a fight? I want tonight to be about you so let’s not focus on me.”

“I don’t believe you. You totally fucked that guy.” Kris got up and pulled on his jeans.

Adam seemed to be getting annoyed, “In my defense, I was drunk and you ran out on me. I don’t think it is really very fair to call me out on that.”

Kris just shook his head, “Of course. Once again you are being persecuted for being you. I don’t know why I keep thinking you are going to get better.”

“I don’t know either but it’s frustrating for me too. So, come on I cooked you a special dinner.”

Adam pulled on his own clothes and guided Kris downstairs. Kris could smell something burning in the kitchen and followed Adam in. It looked like a disaster area. Kris noticed the garlic bread in the oven was basically on fire and the was pasta boiling over on the stove. Kris turned off the oven and tried to stir the pasta but it was already stuck to the bottom. He had a feeling dinner was not going to be too good.

Adam smiled at Kris, “Don’t worry about that I have everything under control. You just go sit on the couch and I will bring you a glass of champagne.”

“I think your garlic bread is on fire.”

“Mm, I am sure its fine.”

Kris didn’t feel like arguing. He went in the living room and just sat down. He heard Adam banging about and then ordering food over the phone. Adam came out of the kitchen and handed him a glass of champagne. “Dinner will be a few minutes late. So, let’s have a drink to celebrate your getting a golden ticket.”

Kris drank the champagne still a bit angry about the cheating but he was more curious about Adam’s true reaction to American Idol, “So, you really aren’t upset about me trying out for American Idol?”

“Of course I am not upset. I think it is good that you pursue your dreams.” Adam smiled and then added, “I just didn’t know you wanted to be a pop-star. I thought maybe the fame would turn you off.”

Kris looked at Adam, “What do you mean?”

“Nothing, it’s just that you didn’t really handle your fifteen minutes of fame too well so I am not sure what you will do when the spotlight is really on you. I may make being famous seem easy but not everyone is good at it.”

Kris felt like a bucket of water had been tossed on him, “I fucking knew it. You aren’t really happy at all. You are scared I am going to take some of the spotlight and you can’t handle that.”

Adam shook his head, “Kris, it’s not like that. I just think you haven’t thought this through and you don’t realize the full implication it will have on your life. You need to be prepare mentally.”

This was Adam trying to manipulate him and he was not going to give in, “Like you pointed out before, my life isn’t so great anyway, what’s the difference?”

“It will be very different and I just don’t want you to be disappointed or freaked out.”

Kris shook his head, “You don’t think I can win, do you?”

Adam shrugged, “I have no idea. I didn’t think I could win. Look, it isn’t a question of talent and there are a lot of factors that come into play. Win or lose, you may get a lot of media attention and people will say you are sleeping with me.”

“I am sleeping with you!”

“Calm down. I realize that but there may be a stigma to being my lover plus your not so gay. I am not sure how people will respond to a bisexual. You better just deny we are having sex.”

“How convenient for you since it fits in with your scandal management.”

Adam got annoyed, “Kris, according to the media I fuck men all the time. You being my lover won’t hurt me as much as it will hurt you so don’t go there.” Adam pulled Kris down next to him, “Kris, I don’t want to fight this is supposed to be a celebration. I really am happy for you. Well, mostly happy part of me doesn’t want to share you with the world but I meant what I said. I will do whatever I can to help you succeed.”

“Really, that means I might have less time for you.”

“That’s ok, you’ve been kind of an ass the last few days, anyway. Do you want more champagne?”

Kris went to get up but Adam held him, “I really missed you, Kris. This house is way too big to be alone in. It was depressing without you here. Where are you going to go when the tour ends?”

Kris shrugged, “Brad said I could stay at his place.”

Adam flipped out, “You are my friend! Why is he trying to steal you?”

Kris laughed, “What are you ten years old? Can’t I have multiple friends?”

Adam shrugged, “Well you can’t live with multiple friends. I want you to stay with me.”

“You want me to live with you? You won’t even admit we are dating and now you want to live together?”

“Well, yeah, but not like partners more like roommates. Roommates that secretly fuck, what do you say?”

Adam was never going to change. He wanted Kris on his terms and only his terms. Kris picked up his cell and hit speed dial, “Brad, are you busy?”

Kris heard a glass shatter and noticed Adam was seething, “Hang up the phone, Kris.”

Kris was used to Adam’s fits but this seemed darker. Kris heard Brad ask if he was ok, “I’m fine. I’ll call you back in a minute Adam just dropped his glass.”

Kris hung up the cell. Adam seemed to be trying to get his temper in check, “I asked you to live with me and you called Brad. What the fuck? Are you sleeping with him?”

“What does it matter since we aren’t monogamous?”

Adam was shaking from anger, “That’s different. You can’t just sleep with someone’s ex-boyfriend. That’s-that’s bad etiquette.”

Kris laughed, “Sorry, I didn’t get the memo.” Adam looked miserable and Kris became serious, “I can’t do this anymore. I can’t just pretend we are nothing to each other when I care about you. That’s just not me.”

“And I don’t care? I am trying to make things work but you don’t give. Can’t you see I am taking steps to make things work?”

“If those steps were any smaller you would be going backwards.”

Adam looked down, “Kris, I really like you. I mean really, really like you but the timing sucks. Aside from you being on the rebound, now you are about to go on a reality show. How is that going to work? Your life is going to completely change and you are going to be too busy to be in a relationship. It wouldn’t be fair to either of us.”

Kris felt sad, “I know. Part of me wants to turn the show down because I am afraid of losing you. Then I realized, I never had you.”

Adam kissed Kris, “You do have me. You had me since Las Vegas. I may not be faithful in a strict sense but I am loyal and I care about you. You have to see your dream through. As much as I hate the thought of losing you, I would hate the thought of you giving something up for me. I want you to go on the show and I want you to win. I don’t ever want you to look at me and feel like I held you back.”

“What if I go on the show and we drift apart? You could meet someone else…and move on.”

Adam shrugged, “I meet people all the time, doesn’t mean they replace you. Kris, if you want to make it in the world you need to learn to be selfish. If you put me first, I am going to dump your ass for being an idiot so you may as well focus on you. People are going to link you to me so you better not fuck this up. I meant what I said about helping you.”

“Even if it means losing me?”

Adam nodded, “You only get one chance at life. I would never stand between a man and his dreams. Besides, it’s not an either or unless we make it that way. I am willing to be your dirty little secret. If you make it on the show, I’ll sneak into the mansion late at night for conjugal visits.”

Kris laughed, “I am sure the producers would love that. Anyway, I haven’t even gotten through Hollywood week. The producer basically told me he gave me a ticket because of you so I may not be all that talented. They are going to try and use you for ratings.”

Adam winked, “Free publicity for me.” Adam grabbed his hand, “Kris, your affiliation to me may hurt as much as help you but it is what it is. I don’t mean to sound like a dick but I don’t think you are suited to be a megastar like me but I think this show can help you find your niche.”

Kris looked at Adam and saw honesty and concern in his eyes, “You do sound like a dick but I appreciate the honesty. In truth, I don’t want the craziness you have, I just want to make music.” _Holy shit, I am going to be on TV!_ It just dawned on Kris the magnitude of making it to Hollywood week. Kris started shaking and Adam laughed, “Did reality just sink in?”

Kris nodded. He was scared shitless. Adam was right, he wasn’t suited for fame. “I can’t do this. You are right I am not suited for this. If I fail, everyone will laugh at me and if I succeed…I couldn’t even handle my name in the papers.”

“Breathe, Kris, you handled it fine. It’s not like you got drunk, crashed your car and killed a family. All you did was run to Knottsberry farm with Brad. If things get crazy, I’ll take you to Disneyland.”

The guard called and announced their dinner had arrived. Adam directed the man into the kitchen. Kris just had another glass of champagne. The man helped Adam carry out the food and then left. It smelled delicious. Adam smiled, “So this is better than the spaghetti, I tried to make. We have smoked mozzarella and plum tomato salad, garlic knots, shrimp and lobster ravioli, broccoli rabe sautéed in garlic, chicken picata and eggplant parmagiana.”

Kris realized he hadn’t eaten all day and suddenly felt starved. They ate while Kris told him all about the audition. Adam listened and was able to relate and empathize. Kris had never heard Adam talk about his idol days except in old interviews. By the end of the meal they were both tearing from laughing so hard. They also finished two bottles of Pinot Grigio before calling it a night.

Kris woke up the next day with a painful headache. He heard Adam talking on the phone in clipped tones, “Tony, he is allowed to try out for reality shows…he doesn’t have to show up until September…Yeah, and we need a vocal coach on the tour…because if he is not there I am going to throw fits everyday and make your life a living hell…send a car in the morning.”

Adam hung up and noticed Kris was awake, “You want some breakfast?”

Kris just pulled Adam down into the bed and kissed him. Adam kissed him back, “We are flying back to Florida tomorrow. Someone called my management team from American Idol asking about you. Usually, they wait until after Hollywood week so I think as long as you don’t fuck it up, you’ll make it to the top 36.”

Kris had wanted to make it on merit. He wanted to make it on his singing ability not because he was sleeping with Adam. Kris just shook his head, “That’s wrong. It isn’t fair.”

Adam shrugged, “The music industry isn’t fair. I am sure there were plenty of better singers when I auditioned…ok maybe not better but as talented that didn’t make it. Hollywood week, I flirted my ass off with a couple of the gay producers. You do what you have to do.”

Kris looked at Adam, “Did you sleep your way to the final 36?”

“No, that would have got me kicked off. I was just really charming. The point is you have your foot in the door. Now it is up to you to open it. Once America starts voting…everything is equal again. Now, stop trying to piss on your dream. You have to go to the 19E offices at one to sign some paperwork. Did you even read the paperwork they gave you?”

Kris felt like laughing that Adam of all people was taking charge of the situation. Kris was still feeling overwhelmed about the whole thing. Adam seemed to notice and just forced Kris into the shower. Adam’s housekeeper had made them breakfast. Tony came over and offered to take Kris to his meeting since he wanted Adam to go with Lane to do some interviews. Kris was prepared for a lecture. As soon as they got in the car, Tony laid into him “How convenient a couple days before you try out for American Idol, you find yourself all over the papers. I am impressed, I really thought you were just a moron but you actually are a brilliant conniver. How long have you been planning this?”

“I didn’t plan anything.”

“Really? Adam may be naïve but I am not. To think I actually felt bad when Adam treated you like shit but actually you were just using him the whole time. I hope for his sake you were as good at fucking as you are at fucking people over.”

Before Kris could respond they arrived at an office building in North Hollywood, “I’ll wait in the car while you reap the rewards of your efforts. Hopefully, in a few weeks you’ll be out of our lives.”

Kris just got out and wondered if that was going to be everyone’s attitude. Bittersweet didn’t even begin to cover what he was feeling. He wondered if Adam would start to question his motives and think it was all an elaborate ploy to break into music. Adam tended to go for fads and was somewhat gullible. Kris had a sinking feeling, the cost of his sudden good fortune would indeed be Adam.


	8. Chapter 8

Kris went into the office building feeling melancholy and hoping this wasn’t about him knowing Adam. He was happy to see about fifty other contestants. They were taken into a room and forced to sign a bunch of papers and were informed they could not be under contract or talk to the media about being on the show. Kris felt like the speaker had been looking at him. He was also given paperwork asking for his home address and travel requirements for Hollywood week. Kris wasn’t quite sure what to put down. To be safe he called Brad and got his home address figuring he would probably end up in LA. The meeting and paperwork took two hours. Kris was getting ready to leave when an assistant came over and said one of the executives wanted to speak to him.

Kris knew his luck was too good to be true. He was directed to an intimidating office and saw a middle aged man typing away at a computer. He stood awkwardly for a couple minutes until the guy turned to him, “Kris Allen, please have a seat.”

Kris sat down, “Congratulation on making it to Hollywood week. We are very excited about this season and think we have some interesting competitors. Now, as I understand it, you are on tour with Adam Lambert, correct?”

“Yeah, the tour wraps up in a month.”

“Are you performing under contract and is that contract from the music label?”

“I am employed more as a personal assistant and I think the contract is with the tour promoter.”

“Didn’t you read the forms that said you could not be under contract with any music label, entertainment company etcetera? I could disqualify you right now.”

Kris was nervous, “I didn’t realize-“

“Ok, that’s why I am explaining it. You need to sever your contract for the tour immediately or give up your spot on idol. Usually, we would have just dropped you but I think you have real talent. Since we are sort of bending over backwards, perhaps you could try and help us. We have been trying to get Adam to come back on the show as a mentor. He is great for ratings but his management is trying to distance him from the show. Perhaps, you could talk to Adam directly and convince him to come on the show.”

Kris felt nauseous, “I can ask him but I really don’t have much influence on his professional life.”

“Well, maybe you could ask as a personal favor.”

“If he says no, am I off the show?”

“Of course not. Like I said you have a lot of talent. I just thought maybe we could help each other. You never know when you need someone in your corner. Just make sure you end your other contract today since you signed a paper affirming you had no such obligations. Good luck, Kris.”

Kris walked out and was shaking. The guy had been smooth but Kris had a feeling despite what he said, if he didn’t deliver Adam, he was not going to get too far in the competition. Kris went the building and went by Tony. “I can’t continue on the tour.”

“Oh really, that’s too bad. We’ll miss you.” Tony’s voice was dripping with sarcasm. They went back to Adam’s house. Adam was in the living room sitting on the couch with Lane and two other people. Two really hot men came out wearing just a few accessories and nothing else. Adam looked at Kris, “Hey cute guy, how did it go?”

“What are you doing?”

“Shopping.” Adam motioned for one of the models to come over. The model stood with his dick practically in Adam’s face. Adam ran his hand up the model’s ass and then touched the belt he had on. Adam giggled, “Isn’t this a nice belt, Kris?”

Kris just went in the kitchen. Adam came in a minute later, “What is your problem?”

“I don’t know. I guess I just didn’t feel like watching you molest hot men all afternoon.”

Adam rolled his eyes, “You are sooo jealous. Anyway, I was really shopping too. One of my designer friends is trying a new approach to appeal to rich, gay men. I think it is a brilliant marketing scheme. You get the client all hot and horny and they spend lots of money. Anyway, if it is really making you upset I’ll tell them to leave or since you are going to be going on national TV, maybe you should shop with me.”

“I don’t have money for that kind of shit any way.”

“Consider it my treat.”

The stress of the day got to Kris, “You don’t need to buy me presents! I am not your whore despite what everyone thinks and I don’t want people to think I am using you!”

Adam just stiffened, “Fine, fuck you then. I was just trying to be nice. You don’t have to scream at me just to avoid accessorizing.”

Kris felt bad, “I’m sorry. It’s been a long day. Go enjoy your ogling/shopping or whatever it is you are doing. I am going to take a nap.”

Kris went upstairs to the guest room and just collapsed on the bed. He was going to need a place to stay if he couldn’t go on the tour. If they withheld his money for breaking the contract, Kris would be stuck in LA. Kris’ head was pounding so he just fell asleep. A little while later, he heard on knock on his door and Lane came in, “Hey Kris, I just came to see if you needed help packing. The car is picking us up at six in the morning.”

Kris sat up, “I am quitting the tour.”

“I thought Hollywood week was a couple months away. We already found you a vocal coach.”

“I had to sign a paper saying I wasn’t under contract. I could be disqualified for having a contract with the label.”

“You don’t have a contract.”

“I do. When I left for Arkansas, Tony gave me a contract to come back. I am getting paid quite nicely.”

“I know you are because I do Adam’s finances. Tony tore up the contract the night after you told Adam the label paid you to come back.”

“He told Tony to keep paying me.”

“Yeah, well Tony refused so Adam has been paying you a very generous allowance ever since. Adam told me not to say anything but I thought it was because you didn’t want anyone to know about it not because you were oblivious. Please, don’t say anything.”

Kris was pissed and freaked, “If the media finds out then they will have evidence I am a whore. How could Adam be so stupid? Does he pay anyone else on tour?”

“He pays me but I am paid through a business account. His accountant insisted we pay you out of his personal account for tax purposes since you are not a write off.”

“Shit, this is going to bite me in the ass.”

“Well, at least you can stay on tour. Shall I help you pack?”

Kris packed his stuff and then went to go find Adam. Hopefully he wasn’t fucking one of the models. Kris found him in the kitchen heating up some food. Adam smiled, “Feeling better, beautiful?”

“A bit, what happened to your friends?”

“I told you I was just shopping; they left. I sent Lane up to you because we have a really early flight. Did everything go ok at your meeting?”

Kris broke down, “They are just using me to get you on the show. One of the bigwigs basically told me I wouldn’t make it too long without getting you. If I wasn’t for you I wouldn’t have gotten the ticket at all.”

Adam frowned, “Well, they can only really control that until Hollywood week. Once you get on the show, they can’t completely affect the voting but they could sabotage you by not clearing songs on time or using bad clips in the background segments.”

“Adam, I am worried the media is going to have a field day with me and then my life will be forever ruined. An outsider looking in is going to think I used you for fame and I am nothing but a whore. Maybe I should quit the tour.”

“Don’t take this the wrong way but you are nothing like a whore. It would be easier on both of us if you were. Please stop being dramatic, that’s my role. You promised to finish the tour so don’t disappoint me.” Adam kissed him, “You want some leftovers? Italian food is even better reheated.”

Kris had a feeling life was going to get crazy soon enough. He shared some food with Adam and made love to him most of the night. They were both tired and cranky when the car pulled up. They both slept through the flight and felt better that evening. The next day Kris met with the vocal coach and arranged times to take lessons. He wondered how much Adam was paying him and felt further indebted. Kris went to the arena after his meeting and ran into Tony, “I thought you were quitting the tour?”

“Adam insisted I stay and I didn’t want to disappoint him.”

“Of course not. You can’t bite the hand that feeds you. So are you still going to plan outings with Adam or are you limiting your work hours to the night?”

“None of your business. Apparently, you don’t pay my salary so you don’t rate an answer.”

“This is true. If it were up to me, you would have been gone long ago. You are bad for business and you don’t even keep Adam’s moods at bay anymore.”

As if on cue, Kris could hear Adam yelling. Kris went in and saw Adam yelling at one of the new roadies.

“…This isn’t a fucking high school play! How hard is it to make sure my concert attire is here? You had a fucking week to get it cleaned. A person with a lobotomy could do a better job than you.”

Kris wasn’t surprised seeing as Adam had hired most of them based on looks rather than brains. This one happened to be a twenty-two year-old, model wanna-be Adam had hired when they went through New York a month ago. Kris hadn’t but up a fight because he knew it would have been pointless.

“I am really sorry, Mr. Lambert. I took it to the cleaners three days ago and didn’t realize something was missing and now they are closed. I can run to the hotel and grab another pair of pants for you.”

“They are still not my costume. Tell me why I shouldn’t fire you?”

Adam still hadn’t noticed Kris had walked in. The boy went down on his knees and started to open Adam’s pants. Adam looked at Kris and at least at the good graces to suddenly stop the guy, “That won’t solve the problem. Hurry up and get me my black pants with zippers. Take Lane with you so you don’t fuck it up.”

The guy scurried out. Adam smiled innocently, “Hi Kris, that idiot lost the pants to my second outfit.”

“So I heard. Sorry I ruined your blowjob apology.”

Adam seemed to miss the sarcasm, “It’s ok. Maybe you can give me one instead. I’d like that more.”

“Er…maybe later. You know, maybe once I get over the fact that you were going to let that guy blow you.”

Adam rolled his eyes, “We are not monogamous. I am allowed to let people suck my cock, remember.”

“You agreed to be discreet.”

“Exactly, I am in MY dressing room!” Kris braced himself for a diva fit but Adam suddenly changed his mood, “No sense fighting over something that didn’t happen. Now, I have about fifteen minutes before the meet and greet, what do you say we make out for a little while.” Adam pulled Kris onto his lap. Kris gave in and kissed Adam despite his irritation. Adam opened Kris’ jeans and began stroking him. Kris’ cock immediately responded.

“Kris, you are so hot. This is better than any blowjob from the hired help.”

“I am the hired help.”

“Not the time to split hairs.” Adam pushed Kris up off his lap and stood up. He pushed Kris back into the chair he had just occupied and knelt down between his legs. Kris gasped as Adam took him in his mouth. Kris was definitely no longer in the mood to argue semantics. Adam’s mouth was too wet and warm. Adam was giving him a world class blowjob, deep throating and all. Kris was barely coherent but thought about how Adam rarely gave head before a show. In fact, he never gave blowjobs even the morning before a show. Kris came and Adam licked him clean, “Mm…now I should have extra energy for the show.”

“You never do that before a show. I wasn’t that mad about the guy.”

Adam giggled, “I just wanted to show how much I like and appreciate you.”

The hairs on the back of Kris’ neck raised, “Adam, what did you do?”

Adam looked contrite before blanking his expression, “Nothing, baby, but if you go on line just keep everything in context. Now, I gotta go to the meet and greet, cute guy.” Adam kissed him on the head and walked out.

Kris immediately took out his blackberry, another recent gift from Adam, and googled Adam. Sure enough, there were headlines, _Glambert Hires Eye Candy, Adam Lambert Distraction…Cute Staff, Wanted…Good Looking Men Only…_ Kris read one of the articles and Adam was quoted, _“Kris Allen is not my boyfriend, he works on my tour. With all the stress and business of the tour, I need distractions and Kris provides that. There is nothing better than a cute guy to make you forget your troubles. Don’t get me wrong he is not paid to be with me; he is more like eye candy. We are not together. I am as single and available as ever.”_

Further down the article Adam expanded on his earlier quote, _“Kris isn’t the first cute guy to catch my eye nor is he the last. Really, the media, as usual is just making stuff up. Kris Allen is nothing more than a pretty face.”_

Kris felt like the floor dropped out from under him. Adam had told the world Kris was nothing but a pretty face. There was a you tube video of the interview. Kris watched it and became nauseous from watching Adam so callously disregard him. It was sickening because it seemed Adam was telling the truth. Kris just sat there waiting for Adam to finish performing. Adam came backstage and noticed Kris’ demeanor, “I told you to keep things in context. I was trying to diffuse the situation.”

“You were very convincing.”

“I should hope so. I was an actor for a few years.”

Kris just nodded, “Yes, you are quite good at it. You had me convinced I was important to you while actually I am just another lay.”

“You are important to me. Kris, I was trying to help you.”

“No, Adam, as usual, you were helping you. What was the cameraman cute? You made me look like an idiot.”

Adam just became annoyed, “I’m tired of dealing with your moods. I am going out so don’t wait up.”

Adam walked away and Kris just stared after him. A few minutes later Monte came over and said he was headed back to the hotel. Kris tagged along and just went to his room. He couldn’t resist going online. Of course Adam was like Teflon so instead of the media treating Adam like a player that harasses his staff, they took the angle he was just s cute bad boy that can’t be tamed. Kris also noticed a few mentioning he had a penchant for white trash and showed a picture of him with some other men Adam had been seen with. Kris was even more humiliated because they used his potato sack race photo. He heard Adam come in the room and saw it was almost five in the morning. Adam immediately took a shower which was a dead give-away he had had sex. Adam tried to quietly climb into bed.

“Was he worth it?”

Adam just ignored the question and turned over. Kris just laid there looking at the ceiling debating on whether to stay on tour for the singing lessons or go back to LA for his sanity. Kris felt like losing Adam was inevitable. He was hurt and angry. If Adam was going to sleep around and treat him like shit, why should he feel bad using Adam for singing lessons and a chance to get through Hollywood week? After all the media, Tony, Adam’s family saw it that way. Kris sighed, he wasn’t made like that and even though Adam was a dick he couldn’t intentionally hurt him, “Adam, I am quitting the tour and going to go stay with Brad.”

“Good, because you really ARE cramping my style. You are not fun anymore and just seem to be taking up space in my bed. Just make flight arrangements through Lane. I am doing an afternoon interview so you better catch her in the morning.”

Kris was not expecting that response or the lack of emotion in Adam’s voice. Actually, Kris had secretly hoped they would have a row and great makeup sex. Kris sat up, “That’s it. After everything, you are going to just treat me like an employee?”

“What do you want from my fucking life? You ARE the hired help, remember? What are you worried if you leave, American Idol will think you have no influence on me? If you are going to make it in the business, you need to learn how to get favors from people. Here’s a tip, you can start by not being an asshole to them and not trying to make them feel like shit all the time.”

“You think I am using you?”

Adam sighed, “Yes, I do but not in the way you think. Kris, go back to LA. I only have a few more weeks on tour and I’d like to enjoy them. Literally.”

“Fine, have a nice life, Glambert.”

Kris got up, got dressed and walked out. Adam did not stop him or seem to care. It was already early morning so Kris just went to the Starbucks in the lobby. He called Lane and arranged to fly to LA that afternoon. Kris went back to the hotel room around 11 am and Adam was already gone. He packed and went to the airport. Kris called Brad while waiting for his flight and asked if he could stay with him for a few weeks.

“I saw the news articles. Didn’t Adam talk to you about what he was going to say to the media?”

“No, of course not it’s not like he considers my feelings. Can I stay?”

“Of course you can. Actually, Adam called me in the middle of the night and told me you were coming to LA. He said we could stay at his house since I only have a one bedroom.”

“I don’t want to stay in his house.”

“OK, no problem. What time does your flight come in? I’ll pick you up at the airport. It is good that you come here because you need to focus on getting ready for American Idol.”

“Unfortunately, I will need to get a job and I can’t afford singing lessons.”

“Relax, you can get a part-time job and take singing lessons from one of my friends. She only charges ten dollars an hour. Don’t worry, Kris, everything will be fine. Trust in the universe being a sparkly place and trust in Cheeks.”

Kris felt relieved and a little less shell-shocked. He was still a little stressed but that kept his mind off leaving Adam. Kris was very confused over what was going on. _Why was Adam suddenly being so cold? Did his family and Tony convince him Kris was evil?_


	9. Chapter 9

Kris slept on the flight to LA. He arrived and was happy to see Brad in the baggage claim area flirting with some porters. It must have been effective since one of them helped with his bags and gave Brad his number instead of taking a tip. Once in the car, Kris broke down, “Brad, he basically threw me off the tour.”

“I thought you quit the tour?”

“Technically but instead of stopping me, he concurred. Same difference.”

“Kris, it is good you left because you are starting to sound like him. That was a borderline Diva statement. Anyway, you are both idiots but that’s beside the point. Kris, deal with Adam after Hollywood Week. You have the opportunity of a lifetime staring you in the face, which is all that matters. You and Adam have plenty of time to fuck with each other after that.”

“Yeah, well without Adam, I don’t have much of a chance making it through Hollywood week.”

“You don’t need Adam, you need practice.”

“They only gave me the ticket to convince Adam to be on their show.”

“You don’t know that for sure. Anyway, so what, you just need to wow them at the audience. I remember talking with Adam through this and he did well because he prepared. He worked on a wide arrange of songs, watched other seasons for pointers and bought some new clothes. That is exactly what you are going to do and I am going to help you. From here on out, Kris Allen, you are in American Idol boot camp.”

Brad wasn’t kidding, he arranged for Kris to have voice lessons three days a week with his friend, watched all 12 seasons of AI, and took him out to karaoke bars and open mike nights. Kris had wanted to get a job but Brad suggested he just borrow money and pay him back. Kris was surprised Brad had so little financial concerns considering he lived in a one bedroom apartment and didn’t seem to have steady work. Brad introduced him to some of his other friends and they seemed on board with keeping Kris busy.

In the beginning Kris googled Adam at night but that proved to be depressing. Adam was out being the total bachelor and play boy. He was photographed so often with pretty boys, the media stopped wondering who they were. Kris refused to call Adam and was sad that Adam didn’t even call to see if he was ok. Monte and Tommy had called him a couple times but that was about it. It was as if that part of his life was just a dream.

It was two weeks before Kris had to show up for Hollywood week and a few days after Adam’s last concert. Having seen pictures of Adam partying in LA, Kris knew he was back home. Kris went into the kitchen and Brad was on the phone, “I think he is ready but he’s more sad then mad…he thinks you don’t care at all…no, if you call him you will just fuck him up…I am going to take him clothes shopping so send me more money. I spent the last of it squaring up with Rachel.”

Kris froze, Rachel was his voice coach. Kris had thought she seemed very good for ten dollars an hour but assumed she was just doing a favor. Kris coughed and Brad looked up, “Shit, I gotta go.” Brad hung up, “How long have you been standing there?”

“Long enough to know you aren’t telling me things. Was that Adam?”

“No?” Kris rolled his eyes and Brad caved, “OK, it was Adam. Look I am not a millionaire so I asked him for a loan. He could wait longer for you to pay him back. No big deal since he owes you that much.”

“He doesn’t owe me anything. How much are my singing lessons?”

“Er…two hundred an hour.”

Kris paled. He had taken almost fifteen lessons and at least a third of them had been for two hours, “I owe Adam six thousand dollars!”

“Well, actually, you owe him ten thousand, two hundred and thirty dollars. The clothes I got you weren’t second hand they were designer originals. Listen, Adam just signed a contract for half a million dollars to appear on three episodes of True Blood, he is not going to miss the money. Kris, just let it go.”

“Does he miss me?”

“I guess when he is not fucking half the guys on the planet. Kris, you need to get over this and focus. We have two weeks and then your future is either bright or you will need to apply at Taco Bell.”

Brad at a point. Kris put Adam out of his mind and focused on getting ready for American Idol. Two weeks later he showed up for the first day. He was nervous seeing all the other contestants that had been chosen from the other cities. The first day contained an immediate elimination. Kris panicked during the first round and messed up his vocals a bit. He hoped he covered it well but he could tell some of the others were doing much better. A young, feisty, red headed girl came over to him, “Dude you gotta settle down if you are gonna make it through this week.”

Kris smiled, “I am trying. You sounded great. How old are you?”

“Sixteen and a half. Weren’t you one of Adam Lambert’s boytoys?”

Kris cringed, “No, I just worked on his tour.”

“Wow, you know Adam Lambert. I totally love him. He is the hottest guy and seems so cool. Are you close to him?”

Kris rolled his eyes, “No. Actually, he can be a bit of a Diva.”

“Really? I bet he is still hot anyway. So, good luck on the next round and don’t be so nervous.”

The next round they had to sing without the aid of the band. Kris chose to sing the Beatles song, “Here comes the sun”. Once again his nerves won out and his voice cracked. Simon Cowell shook his head, “Do you have a cold?”

“No, I guess I am just nervous.”

“If you can’t handle this, how are you going to perform when millions of people are watching you on TV? Do you think you are the best singer here and able to even win?”

Kris shuffled his feet, “Probably not the best singer but I can sing.”

Simon just shook his head, “If you screw up again tomorrow, you are going to be eliminated.”

Kris could not believe they were letting him through the round. Especially since people who did far better than him were eliminated. Allison hugged him when he got off stage. Kris was still shocked when a woman told him to follow her. Kris was led into a small office in the back of the theater. He saw the same man he had met with after signing the paperwork for the show.

“First off this conversation never happened. Now, why are you so nervous? I already told you, you had friends.”

“I am nervous because this is the chance of a lifetime. Look, I can’t deliver Adam. We aren’t even friends anymore.”

“Really? Adam called the show a couple days ago and expressed interest on appearing. He was very clear that his coming on was completely dependant on a certain somebody making it through Hollywood week.”

Kris was shocked, “This contest is fixed?”

“Of course not but at this point it is subjective. The people that make it to the top 36 are completely at the discretion of the judges who discuss their choices with the producers. However, people will get suspicious if you totally suck and make it through. You don’t have to be the best but you can’t be the worst. Got it?”

“Yeah, I got it.”

Kris walked out of the office and went back to his hotel room. He declined going to dinner with Allison and some of the other contestants. He was very upset and disappointed that he wasn’t being given a fair shot. Even if it was working out in his favor, he didn’t want a spot he didn’t earn. He was mad Adam had gone behind his back. Against his better judgment he raided the mini bar and drank a couple shots of tequila. Filled with liquid courage, he called Adam.

Adam answered after two rings, “Kris? How are you?”

“Buzzed.”

“You are drinking during Hollywood Week? Even I didn’t party that week. What are you doing?”

“Who cares? It’s not like the outcome isn’t fixed. They are going to just waste a spot on me to get you on for ratings. As usual once again, my life is about you.”

“Where are you?”

“I am in my hotel room. Why did you want to come over? I’m not really in the mood since I was already fucked by you. Why won’t you just get out of my life? Ever since I met you, you have been breaking my heart and now you are trampling on my dreams. It’s not fair, Adam.”

“Kris, I am sorry. I thought I was helping. Which hotel are you in?”

“The Doubletree in Burbank.”

“I am coming over right now. Stay out of the minibar!”

Kris hung up. He just sat there wondering how he was going to react to seeing Adam after all these weeks. Unfortunately, his buzz was wearing off quickly. Adam showed up forty-five minutes later. He had on his house jeans, a t-shirt and almost no makeup. He must have immediately just left his house for the hotel. In short, he looked absolutely beautiful to Kris and he had to restrain himself from throwing himself at Adam as he walked in the room. Adam smiled nervously, “Hi, this brings back memories. Where is your roommate?”

“He was eliminated today. He left. How have you been?”

“OK, I made it through the tour without killing anyone or being murdered for being bitchy.”

Kris bit his tongue to avoid a caddy retort about the parade of boy toys to temper his mood. “Adam, you don’t owe me anything. I wish you hadn’t called the producers and influenced the show.”

“I was trying to help. You are wrong, I do owe you for all the times I lied and treated you bad.”

“You never lied. You were straight up about not committing. It isn’t your fault I kept hoping you would change. I should have either accepting you as is or moved on earlier. Adam, you don’t owe me a damn thing. In fact, I owe you ten thousand dollars.”

Adam sat on the bed on pulled Kris between his legs, “I did lie. Every time I acted like you were just another guy or purposely tried to show you there were others, I should have been telling you how much I do care and how much I love you.”

 _Warning! Manipulation sequence activated._ Kris shook his head, “You love me? Then why do you sleep around?”

Adam shrugged, “Habit? Look I am trying to change. I even joined a sex addict anonymous group. Well, actually I am not allowed to go to anymore meetings because I slept with some of the members but that’s not the point. I told you the timing isn’t right and it’s true. You don’t need to be dealing with my bullshit and this show. Trust me, it would be too much. But, I want to be a part of it in my small way so let me pay for the singing lessons and give you advice or whatever. You are more than just my lover, you are my best friend. Please, let me do this for you.”

Kris just looked at Adam, “Why did you let me leave the tour?”

“Everyone was against you and I was distracting you. Plus, you can’t afford the media to link you with me. I thought it would be better if I let you go. I did miss you.”

“I noticed.”

“Hey, I thought about you every time I was with someone. Doesn’t that count?”

Kris just looked at Adam. Adam was staring at him with wide, innocent blue eyes and Kris caved, “I guess for you that’s something. Did you tell me you loved me?”

Adam nodded, “I do love you, Kris. I am also IN love with you. I need to work on some things before I am ready to be someone’s boyfriend but you make me want to try. You know, I loved Brad but when we were together we brought out the worst in each other. That’s why we never even considered trying again. But, you bring out the good things in me and make me want to be a better person. I think someday we really could be really great together.”

Kris couldn’t hold out any longer and kissed Adam. Kris hoped this wasn’t just a very well planned out booty call. Adam kissed him back and clothes starting disappearing. Kris started kissing Adam down his stomach but Adam stopped him, “This is about you. Besides, you know you shouldn’t give head before singing. Let me take care of you.”

Kris was in no position to argue as Adam flipped their positions and began to eagerly lap his way down Kris’ body. Adam continued past his cock toward his legs. Kris was about to protest when he felt Adam’s tongue coming up the inside of his thigh. Kris squirmed and he felt Adam’s moist tongue reaching back towards his entrance. Adam knew it was one of Kris’ weaknesses. Kris moaned as Adam opened him with his tongue.

After weeks of neglect, Kris was impatient. He opened his legs more and begged for Adam to take him. Adam deliberately took his time working his way up Kris’ body. Kris was shaking with need, “Fuck me already, Glambert.”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

Kris cried out as Adam entered him and wrapped his legs around his waist. Adam set a relentless pace consistently hitting Kris sweet spot. Kris felt Adam’s thrust become erratic. Adam started stroking Kris, “Give it up, cute guy, I can’t hold out any longer.”

Kris listened and came with a loud scream; Adam immediately followed. As Kris was getting over the last shivers of his orgasm he heard a bang on his door and Allison’s raspy voice, “Kris, are you ok?”

Adam giggled and Kris hit him, “Yeah, I am just practicing.”

“Er…sounds interesting but it’s late.”

“Sorry. I’ll try and keep it down.”

Adam pulled Kris on top of him and kept kissing him, “I missed you so much. I hate sleeping alone and I didn’t want my one night stands sticking around. You know I hate that.”

Kris was too fucked out and blissful to even bother reacting to Adam’s last statement. Kris just gave into his lethargy and fell asleep. Staying up late having was not the best technique for winning AI but in the morning he felt happier than he had in weeks. Adam was still sleeping snuggled up against him. Kris got up and Adam awoke, “Hi gorgeous, are you ready for another big day?”

“Well, I am tired and a little sore but…yeah. I still think it isn’t fair that I am getting through because of you. I don’t deserve it.”

“Kris, I’ve heard you sing and you are amazing. America is going to love you once they get to see you. If you won’t do this for you, then do it for me. After all, wouldn’t it be hot to have two American Idol winners dating?”

Kris laughed, “Let me just make it through this week. Now, get out of here before you get caught.”

Adam kissed him, “OK, cute guy. Break a leg.” Adam went to leave.

Kris smiled, “Oh, Adam?”

“Yeah, baby?”

“Despite you being the world’s biggest Diva, I love you too.”

Adam broke into his million dollar smile and opened the door and screeched. Kris noticed someone had grabbed on to him and was hugging him to death.

“Oh my fucking god it is Adam Lambert!”

Adam extricated himself from Allison, “I am trying to sneak out and you are blowing it.”

“Sorry, I just got really excited. Did you spend the night with Kris? Oh my god, you are is boyfriend.”

Kris exchanged a look of horror with Adam. Adam came back in the room and dragged Allison inside, “Listen, doll, Kris and I are just good friends and I came to wish him luck. I think it would be better if we keep this a secret so Kris isn’t surrounded by media.”

Allison nodded, “Yeah, ok, I get that but you two totally did it. I heard you last night and there are condom wrappers on the floor.”

Kris turned bright red and Adam laughed, “Well, you got us there. So, you will keep quiet?”

Allison smiled, “Totally, but in return you will have to take me out to like a cool concert or introduce me to David Archuleta.”

“Deal.”

Kris hoped Allison kept her mouth shut. Adam came over and kissed him on the lips. Kris pulled back and Adam laughed, “She already knows we fuck, I am sure me kissing you isn’t that shocking.”

Adam left laughing. Allison screamed, “I can’t believe you are with Adam fucking Lambert. Why are you even doing this show? Couldn’t he just produce your album or something?”

“It’s a long story. Listen, Adam and I are not a couple. We just kind of mess around sometimes.”

“Well, I am glad I found out because I didn’t think you were gay. I was thinking of hitting on you.”

Kris laughed, “Well, not only that but I couldn’t compete from jail. You are still a minor.”

“Only for another 18 months.”


	10. Chapter 10

The third day consisted of one group number and a full band solo performance. Allison was in Kris group and they did really well. For his solo number, Kris chose to play his guitar and sing “Glycerine” by Bush. Although his voice wasn’t raspy, he could make it is own with his clear, crisp vocals. Simon praised him, “It is like night and day. You seem relaxed and comfortable on stage. Whatever you did between yesterday and today, you better do again.”

Kris smiled as he remembered making love to Adam. He nodded, “I’ll do that.”

Kris got off and Allison ran over, “That was fucking amazing. So is Adam coming over again?”

“I don’t know. He does have a life.”

Kris called Adam as soon as they were done with the day. He was really excited, “Adam, it went great. I sang ‘Glycerine’ and Simon Cowell actually complimented me. He told me I should keep doing whatever I did last night. Apparently, sex with you improves my vocals. Do you want to come over?”

“That’s really great…Listen, now is not a good time. I’ll call you tonight or tomorrow. Get a goodnight’s sleep.”  
Kris listened to the dial tone for a couple minutes and then threw his phone. Luckily it just landed on the bed. _That moody, mother fucker!_ Once again, Adam did a 180. Kris called Brad.

“Are you still in?”

“Yeah, I think as long as I don’t have a total melt down, I’ll make it. Adam called the show and made a deal to get in me in the top 36.”

“That’s not good. What he giveth he can take away. Did he tell you that or did the show tell you?”

“The show. I was pissed so I called him. He came over and started telling me he loved me and I fucking bought it. I slept with him and now today he is cold.”

“Shit. Look, you have two days left to get on that show. Forget about all this extraneous stuff and think about the music.”

“Brad, he is breaking my heart. I can’t do this. I’m going to drop out of the competition. I’m only 24, I have plenty of time to try again.”

“I’ll call you right back. Don’t do anything stupid.”

Kris hung up knowing Brad was calling Adam. Kris just waited. He wanted to know why Adam was being a dick. His phone rang fifteen minutes later and it was Adam, “Kris, I can’t talk now because I am at a red carpet event. It is the premier of True Blood and I need to work the crowd. Stop having a melt down. I meant everything I said last night. Now, stop being that girl who lost her prom date.” Adam’s voice deepened, “You want me to stop by your hotel in the morning? I could suck you off while you get ready.”

Kris laughed, “How about you come over on the way home from the premier?”

“I can’t I have a date and that would be rude.”

Kris hung up. _That fucker is on a date. Some things never change._ Kris called Brad back, “Who is Adam out with?”

“How should I know? I think he was taking some underwear model.”

“Kris, this is what Adam does and has been doing the whole time you’ve known him. He is NEVER going to change. You need to keep your head on straight and accept that Adam is a player. If you want a monogamous, healthy, loving relationship, you need to find another person. What are you going to sing tomorrow?”

Kris knew Brad was right, “Nothing, I have the day off because group two is going. I am going to go sightseeing with the other contestants. I don’t have any more performances unless they make me do a sing off.”

Brad sighed, “In that case, you can freak out. By the way, Adam decided I was turning you against him and got you an apartment.”

“He what!”

“He rented you an apartment in West LA. It is actually pretty nice and you are closer to the beach.”

“Great, now I am truly a kept man. Is he planning on getting me a car too.”

“I think you could finagle that but you may have to restrain from putting out so quickly.”

Kris just hung up. He went on line and caught a youtube of Adam showing up at the premier with a gorgeous guy. Kris became angry when Adam’s hand brushed over the guys ass as they got out of the limo. Brad was right, Adam was a fucking player. Kris just put it out of his mind and joined some people for dinner. Since they had the next day off, they decided to go to a nightclub. One of the contestants was a bartender and had passes to most of the clubs. They arrived at a place with a huge line. Kris cringed when he saw a flyer for the True Blood premier after party. Hopefully, this wasn’t THE after party. Kris went inside.

Maggie told them she could get them into the VIP section. Kris wanted to stay in the main area but everyone else seemed excited. They went in. Kris’ eyes immediately honed in on Adam. He was on the dance floor grinding up against his date. Fucker! Kris sat down at the table with his new friends. Maggie brought over some tequila shots and beers, “Check it out, Adam Lambert is here. We should totally introduce ourselves.”

Kris paled, “I think he is busy and that would be really lame.”

“I heard you knew him. Didn’t you work for him or something?”

“Yeah, I was one of many and he really isn’t that nice a guy.”

Everyone at the table looked at him, “Really? Is he stuck-up?”

Kris took another shot which was on top of the three beers he had at dinner. He was too drunk to filter his words, “More like Adam Lambert is a self centered, slut.”

Kris noticed the table staring behind him. Not good. Kris turned around and saw Adam looking at him with a hurt expression. “Is that what you tell everyone about me?”

Kris felt two feet tall. “I am sorry you heard that.”

“Yeah but you aren’t sorry you said it. Fuck you. If you’ll excuse me, I have people to fuck and myself to think about.”

Kris just glared, “Just like usual.”

Adam walked away and grabbed his date on his way out. Everyone at the table was just staring at Kris. One of the girls, broke the silence, “Well, I hope you make it on the show because I don’t think your old job is still available.”

Kris continued to drink and got back to the hotel at four in the morning and immediately crashed. He slept through the tour bus and must have slept though Allison’s wake up call. He finally showered around two in the afternoon. His phone rang and it was Brad.

“What the fuck, Kris! Leila called me and was bitching me out because you hurt her son again. You told everyone on the show he was a slut?”

“Shit. I went out with a couple people and we went to a club. Adam was there with a guy and I freaked out. I was drunk and not thinking.”

“Yeah, well I warned you to be careful. Adam is really upset. You think hell hath no fury like a scorned woman, how do you think a diva reacts? I am worried he is going to get you kicked off the show. You better apologize, grovel or whatever you two do to make up before Adam screws you over.”

“You think he would ruin me?”

“Yeah, I really do. He is totally freaking out. I am on my way to your new apartment to make sure he hasn’t changed the locks. Call him.”

Kris hung up and tried to call Adam. It went to voicemail. Kris left an apology and begged Adam to call him back. Kris called a taxi and went to Adam’s house. Security refused to grant him entrance and claimed Adam wasn’t home. Kris was getting upset that he couldn’t reach Adam. He tried to call Adam’s band mates and finally got through to Tommy.

“Kris, we aren’t allowed to talk to you. What the fuck did you do to Adam? He threatened to fire anyone that talked to you or gave you information about him. Tony is convincing him you are going to blurb to the media just like his other boyfriend. Is that true?”

“Of course not. I need to talk to him and make this right.”

“Good luck he is cocooning.”

Kris called Brad again and explained he couldn’t reach Adam. Brad told him to just pray for the best and hope Adam didn’t lash out and destroy is one chance in life. Allison came back from sightseeing that evening and came to his room.

“How are you feeling? I heard you got pretty hammered last night and then called Adam a slut to his face. Did you do that?”

Kris looked down and Allison pushed him, “I thought he was your friend?”

“He was with another guy and I freaked out.”

“Oh. In that case, he was being a slut. Anyway, in less than ten hours our lives may be forever changed so I am going to bed. Are you ok?”

Kris just sat there. Allison hugged him, “I am sure Adam has been called far worse. He’ll get over it.”

“I hope so.”

Kris stared at the ceiling all night and then went to the theater to hear his fate. He hoped Adam wasn’t vindictive but Brad was right, what he giveth he could takith. He didn’t really earn a spot anyway. All the contestants were divided into groups. Kris was in a room with Allison and hoped for her sake they made it. Simon Cowell came in their room.

“Congratulations you all made it to the top 36. You need to sign paperwork and they will explain what happens next. Well done.”

Allison hugged Kris, “We made it. This is awesome. Kris hoped that meant Adam had forgiven him. Kris signed the paperwork. They were told the first show would be filmed in six weeks. Until then, they were to keep quiet about the results of Hollywood week. Kris exchanged numbers with Allison and then checked out of the hotel. Brad picked him up, “Congratulations. The good news is Adam didn’t get rid of your apartment or trash your stuff. The bad news is he doesn’t want anything to do with you.”

Kris felt a wave of nausea, “I need to see him Brad.”

“Yeah, well, he doesn’t want to see you and he isn’t even in LA. He caught a flight to Milan this morning. He is attending a bunch of fashion shows. He’ll come around.”

Brad took him to a nice two bedroom apartment a few block from the Santa Monica border. Brad was right, the apartment was perfect and only a couple miles from the beach. There were a couple bouquets of flowers and some groceries in the fridge.

“Adam must have done that before you called him a slut.”

“Well, let’s just go out to dinner and celebrate you making it into the finals.”

Kris went with Brad and had a nice dinner. He hadn’t told any of his friends or family about American Idol. He hadn’t done a good job keeping in touch with his friends on the tour. Babysitting Adam had been a full time job. It occurred to Kris that he had really made Adam his whole life and even now his only friend was Adam’s ex. Pathetic. Kris needed to find a job for a few weeks until American Idol started. He went to every restaurant and finally got a job seating people at a Black Angus. It didn’t pay much but at least he would have some cash. Every couple days he tried to call Adam but it always just went to voice mail. Adam was keeping a low profile form the media.

He decided to call his brother a few weeks later and see what was going on. Daniel was really excited, “Hey, is it true you tried out for American Idol?”

“How do you know?” Kris still hadn’t told anyone about the show even though it was going to air the auditions in a couple weeks.

“I just saw an episode of TMZ and they said you might be a contestant on next season’s American Idol. Some you tube was leaked that shows you calling Adam Lambert a slut.”

 _What!_ Kris hung up the phone and immediately went online. Sure enough there was a cell phone recording that must have been made by one of the people at his table. What’s worse is hundreds of glamberts wrote hateful things about Kris claiming if he was a contestant they wouldn’t vote for him. One of the suits from the show called him up and warned him not to talk to the media and not to confirm or deny he was on the show. Kris went to work and everyone started treating him weird. Halfway through his shift, the manager came over and told Kris his services were no longer needed since many of the customers were Adam Lambert fans. New low – fired from minimum wage job. Kris decided it would be better to survive on oodles of noodles rather than deal with being a freak show somewhere else.

Brad came over, “Shit, I saw the you tube video. You really came off like a big asshole. Anyway, hopefully this will blow over before you have to get votes. It is amazing that the world thinks you are this heartless, cruel manipulator when in truth it is Adam.”

“I hurt him really bad, Brad. I wish I could get to him to apologize.”

“I agree it was tasteless to talk behind his back but you just called a spade a spade. He has been acting like a slut and he is totally self-centered.”

He and Brad ordered pizza and watched a couple chick flicks. Kris was grateful for the distraction. The next day he had to go to a meeting with 19E. The other 36 contestants were there. Other than Allison, they all seemed to regard him coolly. One of the guys, Danny Gokey, came over. “You were Adam Lambert’s boyfriend?”

“No, I was never his boyfriend. He was my employer.”

“Oh, the media is making you out to be a faggot. That sucks.”

Kris really didn’t need empathy from Danny. Throughout Hollywood week, the guy had been a prick. Plus, he was a really good singer so Kris really hated him. The meeting began and they were asked to provide a back story and list some people in the area the show could interview. Also, they had to write a two page biography. Allison sat by Kris and was writing hers out. Kris wasn’t sure what pathetic details to include. His being fired from most jobs, his being kicked out of his house, his being jilted or his monumental failure with Adam?

Each contestant went in an office and discussed their details with a PR assistant. An hour later Kris only had a paragraph saying where he was born, what high school he attended and the names of his family and friends in Arkansas. Kris was called and taken to a fancier office then the other contestants. He saw Jeff, the executive that had basically blackmailed him with the big man himself, Simon Fuller. _Not good._

“Kris, you are getting quite a bit of negative publicity before the show and we are hoping to show a better side of you. We contacted Adam Lambert’s management but they refused to address any issues regarding you. Frankly, I am not sure how successful we will be improving your image. Anyway, Jeff thinks you might have misconstrued some of his words in an earlier discussion.”

Kris wasn’t sure where this was going but he was worried, “What do you mean?”

Jeff coughed, “I was excited by the fact that you knew Adam but I just want to clarify that has nothing to do with how you do on the show.”

Kris was confused but Simon Fuller jumped in, “If you don’t make it beyond the top 36, I don’t want you thinking it is because of Adam or you were given special treatment because of your…relationship with him. The audience votes on the top 36 and unfortunately Adam’s fans are numerous. I don’t think you will make it past this elimination. If you want to survive, you need Adam to publicly forgive you.”

Kris thought that was highly unlikely. He just smiled, “Well, at least I will get to perform one song. So can I skip the biography it wasn’t really all that interesting.”

Simon smiled sympathetically, “Write it just in case.”

Kris just put a couple bullets about where he worked, travelled and his hobbies. He left the office and had lunch with Allison. Allison was trying to cheer him up, “Maybe Adam with forgive you. I mean based on his twitter last night, he still seems pissed but maybe he is a venter-“

“What twitter?” Kris felt his stomach drop.

Allison cringed and showed Kris. Adam had twitted, Better to be a slut than a whore…Kris’ day was getting worse. Kris finished his lunch and went back to his apartment. Still wondering why Adam didn’t have him evicted. Kris turned on the TV and watched the first episode of American Idol. They showed his whole audition and included the fact that he had been on tour with none other than Adam Lambert. Somehow they had gotten footage of Kris backstage on Adam’s tour moving some wires. Kris smiled when he remembered that night where Adam had thrown a fit about the wires and accused some of the workers of conspiring to kill him. Adam had pissed everyone off so Kris was forced to fix the wires himself. They also showed a clip of Kris painting Adam’s nails which was the result of another fit. Adam had insulted the makeup artist and Kris was stalling for time until they found another one. Kris felt sad seeing the clips because he really missed Adam. He also wondered where they got the clips.

Kris’ family called him and his mother said they were really proud he was doing something productive. She was a little alarmed that the media was misinterpreted his professional relationship with Adam Lambert. She went on to say he should clarify it so people didn’t get the wrong idea. Kris just listened and said nothing important.

American Idol would show the auditions all week than a few episodes of Hollywood week. In two weeks, he would be performing live. They all had been were given a list of possible songs and told to chose by the end of the week. They would then be given at least six hours rehearsal time and assistance from the musical director.

Kris was looking through the songs when his phone rang. It was Tony. Kris didn’t really want to answer but knew he had no choice. Bad news didn’t get better with time. He answered warily, “Hello.”

“You had no right using footage from the tour. Congratulations along with dealing with thousands of angry glamberts, you are going to have a laws suit on your hands.”

Kris laughed, “What are you going to sue me for my plaid shirts? I don’t have anything you can take.”

“You used tour footage that belongs to Adam and I have advised him to sue you first for slander and then for stealing footage that was under copyright. There had been cameramen on tour because he was planning on releasing a DVD. What else did you steal?”

Kris had no idea how American Idol got the film and was in no mood to deal with Tony. The good news was he no longer worked for Tony so he didn’t have to listen, “Go ahead and sue me, asshole. Now, if you have nothing new to say then…goodbye.”

Kris hung up annoyed and depressed. He was wasn’t worried about a law suit because it was true he had no money and it didn’t look like he was getting some anytime soon. Kris knew he didn’t have a shot in hell of making it through to the top twelve. He needed to make his one top 36 performance count towards what really mattered. He wanted to do a song for Adam. He chose to sing “Ain’t No Sunshine” and began practicing with his guitar. He hoped it would be good since it was his way of apologizing to Adam, even if the guy twittered he was a whore…


	11. Chapter 11

The media the day after they aired is audition was the worst yet. Perez Hilton went after him claiming his only true talent was being Adam Lambert’s lover which apparently wasn’t enough to keep his interest. Kris was broke and hungry. He was scared to go out since there could be paparazzi lying about. He called Brad.

“Hey babe, I saw your audition and you are right they totally just gave you a spot. You better not choke on performance night.”

“Well, I was nervous. I think I will be OK performance night because I am going in knowing I don’t have a shot in hell.”

“I don’t know. The Glamberts might be very vocal but there are still a lot of Adam haters. Maybe you can get their votes.”

Kris didn’t feel like discussing it so focused on his reason for calling, “Listen, I got fired from my job and…”

“How do you fuck up being a host at Black Angus? Did you give someone a mortal paper cut with a menu?”

“Look, it just didn’t work out and I am starving. Can I borrow a couple dollars?”

“Sure, what do you need?”

“Can I have a hundred?”

“You aren’t doing drugs or drinking? Maybe I should just pick up some groceries.”

Kris wasn’t sure what that was about but as long as he got food he didn’t care. “Whatever you can do would be great.”

Kris hung up and decided to ask his parents for money. His father told him he could have a few dollars as long as he clarified to the public he wasn’t gay. Kris was too hungry and annoyed to play the game, “Dad, I am not going to lie to the public. Look, I am bisexual.”

Kris heard a dial tone. Apparently, his parents were not going to be on board with him coming out. _Whatever._ Brad came over a half hour later with a couple mocha laites and French pastries. Kris had been hoping for an egg mcmuffin. Still, it was food. Kris was surprised how good the pastries were and commented, “This is good. Where did you get it?”

“Adam’s house. My apartment is being tented for termites so I am staying at the Lambert Villa. We watched your audition the other night but he wouldn’t talk to me about you. He is still being a baby. He does feel bad about the drunken twitter but not bad enough to fix it. I love Adam but he really can be stubborn and immature.”

“I miss him, Brad. I wish I never tried out for American Idol. I want to be back with him even if he treats me bad.”

“Too late. Luckily the universe is leaving you an ounce of pride by not allowing you to crawl back to him. So, what are you going to sing?”

Kris played “Ain’t No Sunshine” for him. Brad just stared and then nodded, “That was amazing. You have a really good voice, Kris. Maybe, people will see past the bullshit and vote for you.”

Kris didn’t get his hopes up and just spent the afternoon with Brad. Before leaving Brad gave him a couple hundred dollars since he was convinced Kris had not become an overnight heroin addict. The next week was busy with rehearsals. He played his song for the musical director and received a lot of positive feedback. The day before his performance Kris’ mother called, “Sweetheart, I just wanted to wish you luck and remind you to set the story straight. Your father has been getting a lot of ribbing from his poker buddies.”

Fuck them. “OK, Mama, I’ll see what I can do. I wouldn’t want you to feel uncomfortable at your bridge night.”

“I knew you would understand. Good luck.”

Kris truly hoped American Idol never insisted on meeting his family. It would just be embarrassing. Kris had received four tickets for family and friends. He gave two to Brad and on a whim he dropped two with Adam’s gate guards instructed them to give them to him. Kris didn’t have anyone else to go anyway. Brad was excited since he never got to go when Adam was on. Kris went to the theater early that afternoon for a sound check. The other 11 contestants were there and nervous. Danny came over, “I hope they added security tonight you seem to have a lot of enemies.”

“I doubt some 40 year old cougar in going to take me out.”

“I don’t know, Adam Lambert’s mother seemed pissed enough.”

“What do you mean?”

Danny looked at Kris like he was stupid, “You didn’t see her on extra? They caught up with her and asked her about you. She said you were a vile, manipulative man that treated her son badly. She said she personally witness you be both physically and verbally abusive. She went on to say she hoped America didn’t reward exploitation and that she was just thankful you were out of her son’s life.”

Not good. Kris just focused on getting ready to perform. He could see by the pitying glances of the staff, he was doomed. Allison came over and gave him a hug, “I don’t believe you abused Adam. I can’t believe his mother said all those bad things about you.”

“I can. She totally hates me and to be honest we did not have good interactions with one another. I am ok with all this. I just want to sing my song and get on with my life.” _Yeah, the one where I live in a cardboard box and think about what if…_

Kris was backstage getting ready. He was going to be the last performer since the show was banking on people tuning in to see him fail. Kris just stood up top watching the other contestants. Kris was happy Allison nailed her performance and even gracefully accepted Danny succeeding on putting on a good show. Kris was nervous and had been debating all day which pronoun to use. Should he put everything on the line for a man incapable of being in a loving relationship? Plus, Adam had totally severed their relationship and called him a whore…

Kris was up and still unsure. Ryan Seacrest came over with the microphone, “Kris Allen, what song are you going to perform.”

Kris smiled, “I am going to sing ‘Ain’t no sunshine. It’s sort of dedicated to someone.”

“Ah, that someone wouldn’t be in the audience, would they?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Good luck, Ladies and Gentlemen Kris Allen.” Kris could swear he heard booing as he got on stage. He immediately went to the piano and sat down since his legs felt shaky. He looked over to where his friends and family should be and saw Brad, Cassidy, Tommy and ADAM. Kris almost called out but realized he was on stage in front of millions of people. Just as well since Adam looked hostile and in full diva mode.

Kris started playing, “Ain’t no sunshine when HE’s gone…”

Kris was too scared to look at Adam through the performance. Kris finished the last note and finally looked over at Adam. Adam stared at him as if he was mesmerized. Kris gave him a small smile and Adam suddenly snapped alive and was on his feet applauding. Brad howled a few times. Kris stood before the judges unable to stop himself from continually glancing over to Adam. Paula was the first to speak, “Kris that was beautiful and very vulnerable. It took a lot of guts to sing that so honestly. Great job.”

Kara went next, “Yeah, that was really good. You looked confidant, like you were a seasoned performer. Did you get tips from your infamous fan over there?”

Kris looked at Adam, “I didn’t get tips but he did inspire me.”

Simon of course dampened the praise, “I thought it was good but I am not sure if you can win this competition. I honestly don’t think you have any star presence but I think you may have done enough to squeak by tonight.”

Kris was really happy with the comments. He went backstage and Allison hugged him.

“You were amazing. I think people with forgive you especially since Adam was in the audience.”

Kris didn’t even care about American Idol, he wanted to see Adam. Unfortunately before he could get away, Jeff came over and patted him on the back, “I knew you had it in you. I didn’t think you would be able to turn this around but I think you did enough. That was brilliant to get Adam in the audience. I told you, you had to get him on your side. I can’t think of a better way to get those Glamberts to vote for you then dedicating a song to Adam.”

Kris was getting chills listening to Jeff. Everyone was going to think Kris manipulated the Adam gain. Worse, he a familiar lyrical lilt, “Yes, Kris is quite determined to win this competition. So does my being in the audience count as being on the show?”

Jeff smiled, “Adam, it is great to see you again. Congratulations on the platinum albums, the grammys, the fame, the fortune and all the other great things you achieved after the show. We were hoping you’d be a mentor again.”

“Well, no, I don’t think that would be very fair since I know Kris so well. I’ll tell you what, I will think about performing on one of the result nights. I have to run it by my management.”

“I thought you agreed if-“

“Jeff, I am sure you would never compromise the integrity of this show by making deals and manipulating results…anyway, like I said we’ll see. Now, if you’ll excuse us, I’d like to talk to Kris privately.”

Kris admired how Adam always stood up to people but had a feeling this time it was because Adam was angry. As soon as Jeff walked away, Kris started apologizing, “Adam, I didn’t invite you to win votes. I swear, I just sent you the ticket because I was doing this song for you and I had no other friends. I didn’t really think you would show up. I’ll even quit the competition if you will take me back.”

Adam looked at Kris, “Take you back? Take you back as what? My lover? It is not like we were a couple. You would throw away your whole future on fling?”

Kris just looked at Adam. That hurt but Kris was determined not to throw fuel onto the fire, “No, but I would for the man I love and the man who said he loved me.”

Adam smiled brightly, “You always were an idiot. Anyway, I’ll make a deal with you.”

Kris was perplexed by Adam’s magnanimous gesture but decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth, “OK.”

“I will ignore the whole conveniently manipulative ploy to garner votes, if you disregard any comments I may or may not have made to the media before coming to the show. You were fucking amazing.”

Kris had a feeling Adam did something pretty bad but he didn’t care. “It was good because it was true. I missed you, Adam and I am so sorry I said what I said. I saw you grinding against that guy and just flipped.”

“Well, I think you might have some anger management issues but we can work through them.”

Kris’ jaw dropped. _Oh no he didn’t! The world’s biggest diva was going to tell him he had a problem controlling his temper._ Kris shook his head and laughed, “Mm…maybe I can just channel that energy into something better.”

Adam grabbed him and pushed him up against the wall and kissed him. Kris felt his legs go wobbly and was glad for the support. Adam stopped after a few minutes and after Allison called out to them, “Hey, you two are not in a hotel room. I think a bunch of cell phones are filming this.”

Adam let go of Kris and hugged Allison, “You did really well, doll. I think you both are gonna make it in the top twelve.”

“Well, how ‘bout you give us some twitter support?”

Adam smiled and took out his iphone. Kris didn’t want Adam to feel used, “You don’t have to do that.”

“Yeah, I do especially since my fan based is intentionally sabotaging you. Those Glamberts are great fans but formidable enemies. Anyway, Brad insisted we go out for a celebratory dinner. Allison, you are more than welcome to come and bring whoever you want.”

Kris cell phone started ringing and Kris saw it was his mother. He turned off his phone since he was pretty sure she was going to be upset that he didn’t tell the world he was straight and actually basically outed himself. They all went to dinner. Adam and and Kris sat next to each other and basically spent most of the time staring at each other. Brad made a toast on Kris success, “Congratulations on blowing everyone away tonight and I just want to say you two are almost more annoying together as you are apart. So, drink up and get out of here before you both start getting lewd in public.”

Everyone laughed and drank. About fifteen minutes late, they decided to take Brad’s advice and left for Kris’ apartment. Once inside, Adam immediately started kissing him and undressing them both. Kris pulled back, “Don’t you think we should talk first?”

“Definitely not. Let’s talk after in case we don’t work things out.” Adam resumed molesting him.

Kris pulled back not liking Adam’s logic, “Adam, we need to work this out.”

Adam just sighed, “Kris we have been apart a long time. If we talk first, I am just going to say whatever you want to hear to get you in bed. Why waste the time?”

Adam had a point and it had been so long…Kris started kissing Adam again. He gave himself over to the passion and just let Adam do whatever he wanted to him. Kris had a feeling sex didn’t get any better than with Adam. He was ruined for life. After several rounds of lovemaking, they snuggled in Kris’ bed.

“I really like this apartment. It is cozy and warm like you.”

“Good, because it is yours. You know you don’t owe me anything and don’t have to pay for things all the time. I want us to be equal in a relationship.”

“We are equal but different. You bring certain things to our relationship and I bring other things.”

Kris was confused, “What do I bring?”

“Warmth, patience, caring, forgiveness…”

“What do you bring?”

“Mm, money and sex? Together we are perfect.”

Kris shook his head, “Adam, that is not a relationship. That is a quid pro quo agreement.”

Adam shrugged, “Close enough, babe. Anyway, I am happy with it.”

“Of course you are. You get your cake and eat it too. I want to be in a real relationship; you know, the one where you don’t sleep with the rest of the male population.”

Adam became annoyed and started spinning up, “What is it with you and this monogamy thing? Kris you are like a fucking broken record. Look, this is a silly discussion. You are about to make it on American Idol and are going to be living in a mansion for three months. I think it is totally unreasonable to expect me to be a monk. Kris, you really are being self-centered and frankly a bit of a diva.”

Kris looked at Adam and didn’t see any trace of humor. _Was this guy for real? Did Adam really just call him self-centered and a diva for asking him not to sleep with other men?_ Kris shook his head, “Adam, if not now, when do you plan to commit to me?”

Adam got up, “Kris, we just made up after you hurt me really bad. I think this line of questioning is totally unreasonable. If you don’t stop, I am going to leave.”

Kris didn’t want Adam to go and could hear Brad’s voice in his head yelling at him for being spineless. Still, he couldn’t watch Adam walk out, “OK, we’ll leave it for now. Come back to bed, Adam.”

Adam jumped into bed happy. _Of course, he was happy, as usual he got his way._ Adam pulled Kris against him and whispered in his ear, “I love you so much.”

Kris couldn’t bring himself to just forgive Adam so he stayed silent. If Adam even noticed he didn’t give a sign. Instead, he fell asleep. Kris just stayed awake between the adrenalin of performing and the unresolved issues. He got up after a few hours and went online. He googled himself and saw five thousand hits. Not good.

Some said he gave a good performance most said it was a ploy to use his famous lover as a way to garner votes. Along with those articles , there were several headlines that said Adam Lambert confirms sexual relationship with idol hopeful Kris Allen. Kris saw a video clip of Adam outside the studio. He played it and paled when he heard Adam’s quote,

“Look, I don’t think Kris has an unfair advantage and I did not give him any ‘pointers’. We don’t spend all that much time together talking. Believe me, the last think I am thinking about when I am pounding into him is providing American Idol tips.”

 _Oh no he didn’t…_


	12. Chapter 12

Kris just sat in front of the computer and unsure why he was so surprised Adam would say something that callous. _Hadn’t it already been painfully clear that Adam didn’t give a shit about his feelings?_ That was it, if he didn’t make it through, he would go back to… _where would he go?_

Kris was pondering the question when he felt warm hands on his shoulders and Adam’s breath on his neck, “Come back to bed, baby, you have a big day ahead of you.”

“Not really. I just have to sit there on a couch and wait to be told I didn’t make it. It is safe to say between you calling me a whore and telling the world I am just some guy you pound, I won’t garner too many votes.”

“Such a pessimist. Look, I twittered for people to vote for you and Allison. I have over four million followers and my fans always support my causes.”

“I am not a cause, Adam. Please don’t touch me. I’m not in the mood.”

Adam got annoyed, “Kris, you agreed not to get mad at what I said to the media. Look, I know it was a little crass but I had just spent the last hour defending you to my mom and was in a bad mood. I was trying to help by clarifying that I wasn’t helping you sing.”

“You are turning it around and I am not going to buy it. You freaked out for like a month because I called you a slut to four people. Now, you expect me to just ignore the fact you told a fucking reporter I am some twink you just bang. How does that work?”

Adam thought for a minute, “OK I agree we both need to work on our PR skills…”

Kris just shook his head, “Fuck you, Adam.” Kris could tell Adam was about to throw his typical two year old temper tantrum. Kris stood up, “Mind if I sit on the couch before you start to rave like a lunatic?”

Adam seemed to pause for a minute as Kris moved to the couch. Adam regained his focus, “You know I am not sure how much more abuse I can take. I know you are under pressure but you can’t keep treating me like this. You hurt me really bad talking behind my back but regardless I came to your performance to help you make it on the show. I didn’t have to do that, you know. I am sorry I said that shit but it is pointless to dwell on spilt milk. I am trying to make you happy but you just keep raising the bar and changing the rules. It’s like no matter how hard I try you make sure I fail. I can’t keep up with your expectations. It isn’t fair.”

Kris looked at Adam and just started laughing hysterically. It was almost like a crazy person’s laugh but Kris did feel like he was in some alternate universe. Oh that’s right they were in _Adam’s World._ Adam was as usual refusing to acknowledge any fault. Adam just stared at Kris unsure of what to say next and then obviously decided to continue in the same vein, “See. I open up and you laugh at me. I don’t think you are any better at this relationship thing than me.”

Kris didn’t have the energy to fight, “You may be right. I think we should stop seeing each other.”

Adam laughed haughtily, “You can’t afford to dump me, Kris Allen, I am the only shot you have to making it on American Idol. Besides, if you don’t make it through, I am also the only thing between you and skid row.”

“I don’t really give a shit about American Idol and I can stay with Brad. You are right the only reason I got this far is because of you and I really don’t feel like enduring weeks of votes based on whether we are getting along.”

Adam’s expression changed, “I think we should just put our differences aside until this American Idol thing is over. You should be focusing on your career not me. Kris, I really want to be here for you and help you succeed.”  
“How convenient. When you are wrong we just ignore it but when I am wrong you throw a fit.”

Adam looked up, “You know you are not the only one that feels things. How do you think I feel when all you do is focus on my flaws? You never seem to dwell on my good qualities. I wasn’t going to say anything but the truth is you are the one sabotaging this relationship not me.”

Kris just stared at Adam unsure if he wanted to really know how Adam’s mind derived such a ludicrous conclusion. It was probably one of Adam’s smoke and mirror tactics. “Nice try but I am a brunette.” _What was the point of talking to a diva?_ “You can’t fix what you don’t even believe is broken. You are right, I keep thinking you will change and you don’t.”

Adam looked sad, “Exactly. I am same the person I was from day one. You, however, keep changing and lying to me. You pretend you are fine with me seeing other people and then freak out when I do. I am not cheating on you because I never fucking agreed to be your boyfriend! This is exactly why I knew sleeping with you was a bad idea.”

Kris froze, “So now you regret getting involved?”

“Don’t put words in my mouth. Look, can’t you accept me for who I am?”

“No, Adam, because you are not human. It is like dating Darth Vader and the dark side has clearly won. I don’t think it is so outrageous for me to expect you not to sleep around all the time and not to say degrading stuff about me to the media. Those are choices you are making not a birth defect you cannot control.”

“If I am so bad why are you even with me? What are you a star fucker?”

Kris completely lost it and lunged at Adam. Adam reacted by pinning Kris on the couch and climbing on top to hold him pinned, “Why are you getting physically abusive?” Kris tried to struggle to no avail which seemed to amuse Adam to no end. Kris was now frustrated and pissed that Adam was treating this like a joke.

“Get off me, Adam.”

“I don’t think so not until you play nice.”

Kris froze when he felt Adam getting hard, “Adam! This isn’t a game. Let me up.”

“What? I can’t help it if my body naturally reacts to you.” Adam rolled his hips against Kris which made Kris cock twitch. Adam smiled, “See your body reacts too.”

Kris felt humiliated by his body’s reaction and just looked away. Adam relaxed his grip, “Kris, I am sorry you keep getting hurt. I know I am not giving you everything you think you want but I do care about you. I care about your future and I think you are really talented. I wish I could change overnight into someone that makes you happy but let’s face it that is not going to happen. Frankly, I don’t think I could ever be that person because your happiness is up to you. You need to focus on your dreams and that means putting yourself first. If you need to stop seeing me to do that, than do it. I am willing to do whatever you want except let you waste your energy in a serious relationship until you get your own life on track. You may think that is selfish but I think it is fair. I could totally bullshit you and cheat without you knowing. I could tell you everything you want to hear but I won’t because I DO respect and love you. I am your friend first and your lover second. I won’t let me be the reason you don’t succeed.”

Kris just looked away because he felt himself tearing and didn’t need to add crybaby to his list of pathetic traits.

Adam kissed him on the cheek, “You know I am having a hard time here too. There is a reason I fuck strangers and keep those I am close to platonic. Once sex gets into the mix everything goes haywire and I become an asshole. But, with you it is hard because you’re my best friend that I am uncontrollably attracted to. Right now, I think you need a friend more than an asshole lover. We could go back to being platonic if it will make things easier.”

“I don’t want to be friends, I want to be boyfriends.”

Adam rolled his eyes, “You’re like a fucking two year old. You can’t always get everything you want, Kris. I told you from day one I didn’t do boyfriends so I am not even going to respond to that. Look, I already made it in music. If I don’t sell another record, I’d still have enough money to live like a king the rest of my days. You, however, haven’t made it. Even though I am more than willing to support your ass, I think you owe yourself to become something more than a kept man. I think you have a fear of success and are trying to use me as an excuse. You need to stop worrying about your love life and focus on your career. You aren’t getting any younger.”

Kris looked at Adam, “At least I’m not 30.”

“That was just mean.” Adam smiled, “Ok, are you over this little melt down.”

“What about us?”

“We are fine. Do you honestly think any human being would ever put up with my shit besides you? Believe me, even if I wanted to move no one would take me. Nope, I’ll be right here waiting for you and cheering you on to victory.”

Kris hugged Adam, “Don’t ever say something so crude about me again.”

“OK. I can do that, cute guy. Now, let’s sleep for a couple hours and then get you ready for your first results night.”

“OK, by the way Tony is suing me for the footage used in the auditions. He said he owns them.”

“Actually, I own them and I’m the one that gave it to the show.”

Kris went back to bed for a couple hours. He woke up and Adam had made him some breakfast. Kris was pretty sure he got manipulated but Adam was right he needed to focus on his career. Kris was grateful Adam stayed over and kept him busy until he had to go to the studio. Adam dropped him off at three and promised to come back for the taping. Adam winked at him, “I’ll even refrain from telling the media how many times we fucked last night.”

Kris shook his head and just went in the studio. He noticed everyone was either being quiet around or whispering behind his back. One of the guys by Danny finally said something, “I saw you boyfriend gloating about how he gives it to you. Is that how you made it to the top 36?”

Kris didn’t say anything. Danny chimed in, “You don’t deserve to be here. Aside from you being a total aberration you basically slept your way into this competition. They should disqualify you for cheating.”

Kris just walked away. Allison came over and put her arm around Kris, “They are just jealous.”

“They are entitled to their opinion. You might not want to hang with me. I think the others might alienate you.”

“I don’t care. I wasn’t popular in high school and these people don’t seem to be any more mature. Besides you got cuter friends then they have. Wasn’t Adam’s bassist here last night? I heard he is straight.”

“Yeah, but he is still too old for you.”

They went through their group number and then backstage for makeup. Kris was nervous. A couple hours before the show there was an organized cocktail party for family and friends. Kris went back there and laughed when he saw Adam surrounded by cougars fawning over him. Brad came over, “I saw the stupid comment Adam made. Is everything ok?”

“I don’t even know if we are still together. Fighting with him is pointless. He won’t change and I can’t seem to give him up. Just when I am totally ready to end it, he does something good. He gave the show the footage on tour and came to help me get votes. The guy does try in his own way.”

“Yeah, and I know he loves you. Still, it doesn’t excuse him to be a total prick.”

Adam came over and gave Brad a dirty look, “Stop upsetting my boy before the show.”

Kris felt the need to stick up for Brad, “He is not upsetting me but just reminding me how much I hate that part of myself that lets you walk all over me.”

“If you are going to hate yourself for something I would focus on your fashion sense instead.”

Kris just looked at Adam but then relaxed when he noticed he was smiling. Adam squeezed his hand, “Good luck, tonight.” Kris noticed the other contestants were staring at them. Danny was looking at their hands in disgust and Kris got annoyed. He hadn’t had to deal with a lot of homophobia and wondered how much Adam had dealt with it in his lifetime. Kris smiled at Adam, “Thank you. I’ll see you after the show.”

Kris and the other contestants went backstage. The group number went fine even though the other contestants hated him at least they weren’t overtly sabotaging him. Kris sat on the couch next to Allison. Kris noticed Adam was talking with Michael Orland and Simon Fuller. Unfortunately, Danny noticed too, “Is your boyfriend trying to hook you up? I bet your songs get cleared first.”

Allison pushed Danny, “Danny, this is American Idol not Survivor. Give it a rest already.”

Ryan announced the first person to safety and it was Danny. The next person to get in was Allison. Kris was happy for her. Ryan told the audience everyone that didn’t make it would have a shot in the wild card. Kris actually was mixed about winning. He wasn’t sure he could deal with the craziness of the show. He’d almost rather just sing in bars. Kris was deep in thought and realized everyone was looking at him. Ryan came over, “He’s totally shocked. Kris, the third stool is yours. You made it, buddy.”

Kris stood up and walked over to the stools. He looked over and Brad and Adam were applauding enthusiastically. After the show there was a dinner for all the contestants and family. Brad begged off saying he had a date. Kris was surprised Adam came. For a diva, Adam really was being good about supporting him. Despite the cold shoulder the contestants had given him, they were all over Adam and kissing his ass. The only one who didn’t was Danny.

Danny mumbled something to the effect that gays always got preferential treatment. Adam looked over, “I wish you would have been on in my season. It would have been nice to sing you into the ground.”

“Maybe you wouldn’t have won.”

“Well, I am pretty sure I would have but win or lost I’d still be a multi platinum artist. Danny, you can’t bully me because I’m a seasoned rock star while you are just trying to make it on a reality show. So why don’t you stop wasting your breath and stop messing with my friend, Kris. I am not sure all my Glamberts would like that and they are avid voters.”  
Danny shut up and Kris bit his lip not to laugh. They finished the dinner and went back to Kris’ apartment. Kris went in and there were wrapped presents all over the kitchen table.

“What is this for?”

“It’s for winning a spot in the top 12.”

Kris paled, “You knew? It was fixed?”

“Relax, Allen. I bought two sets of presents. If you lost, Lane would have hidden those and put out others. I didn’t know you made it until Ryan said your name.”

Kris went by his presents and opened the first one. It was a shaving kit. He opened the next one and it had a portable shower basket with shampoo, conditioner and the lavender bath wash Adam always had on tour. Kris continued to open the presents and found a package of clean underwear, a bathrobe, and plaid pajamas. Another package had all Kris’ favorite snack foods and candies. Kris looked at Adam, “What is all this for?”

“When you go to the mansion you will need this stuff. My Mom took me shopping before I went and I know your Mom isn’t here so I thought I’d buy the things you need. I know you wouldn’t think of it since you always just used my stuff. You forget I have been sharing a hotel room with you for six months. I know you better than you know yourself. Besides, other people won’t think it’s cute when you borrow their deodorant.”

Kris just looked at all the stuff Adam picked out and felt touched. Adam knew just what he liked and cared enough to buy it. It was times like this, Kris knew why he put up with Adam’s bullshit. Kris hugged Adam, “Thank you this is perfect.” Kris was curious, “What did you buy me if I lost?”

“A shitload of sex toys to take your mind off it.”

Kris laughed, “Can I have those presents too?”


	13. Chapter 13

Kris had two weeks before his next performance since the other twenty four contestants had to compete for the other nine spots. Kris was looking forward to spending time with Adam but he seemed pretty busy. He was scheduled to go to Vancouver to film True Blood the same week as Kris was to perform in the top 12. Adam, arranged for acting lessons for himself to prepare. Kris felt a little put off that Adam was so busy.

He understood the True Blood work but Adam also insisted on going to some art openings, promo parties, concerts and even some exotic dancing charity benefit. Adam seemed like a social butterfly on steroids. On tour, he had Adam’s undivided attention, well besides the twinks but this was different. Kris felt like he was competing with all Adam’s friends.

Kris knew he was being insecure, clingy and pathetic but he voiced his frustration anyway, “Adam, I understand you being busy preparing for True Blood but do you have to attend every LA function every night? I am going to be moving into the mansion in five days, don’t you want to spend time alone?”

Adam smiled, “Relax, you are staying in the same mansion I was in. I know all the secret spots we could go for my conjugal visits.”

“Good to know but can’t you clear your social calendar for one night?”

“Sure.” Adam took out his iphone and was scrolling down his schedule, “How about next Tuesday?”

Kris stared at Adam, “Are you fucking kidding me? I’m moving in on Tuesday. You don’t have a free night until then?”

“I’m sorry you don’t have friends or hobbies but I do. You are always welcome to come with me. Well, mostly.”

“Oh, you except the nights you have another date?”

Adam just plastered on a fake smiled, “I’ll see what I can do about making time for us.”

Adam’s latest technique for dealing with subject matter he didn’t like was just to smile and say something to shut Kris up. Kris found it extremely irritating which was probably why Adam kept doing it.

Kris called his friend Cale in Arkansas. He had been trying to keep in touch with Cale , Charles and his brother Daniel but they had their own lives too. Plus, Kris really had nothing in common with them anymore. Unfortunately, since everyone hated him on American Idol, he didn’t have high hopes of making new friends anytime soon. That left Adam or Adam’s friends to fill the void. Unfortunately, Brad hooked up with a new guy and seemed to have fallen off the planet.

“Do you know where Brad is? He hasn’t called me back in a while.”

“That’s Brad, for you. He always drops off the face of the earth when he gets a new boyfriend and then he comes back after the honeymoon period ends. He’ll call you back in a few weeks. Kris, I signed you up for some dance lessons. The class is at four today.”

“What?”

“Well, you are driving me nuts and you really aren’t that good a dancer. I think it might help you on American Idol. You don’t want to be known as a Taylor Hicks with clumsy dance moves.”

Kris just stared at Adam, “You think I am a bad dancer?”

Adam kissed him, “No, but I think you can be better. Besides, the teacher is my friend Pamela and she’s really hot.”

 _Wait, what?_ Kris looked at Adam, “Are you trying to get me laid?”

“No, Kris, I am trying to distract you because you are climbing the walls and I am busy. I know you are anxious about the show and I thought this would be a nice change.”

“Do you have a date?”

“Why are you always so suspicious of my motives? Now, go get ready and I’ll drop you off at the studio.”

Kris decided to just take the dance lesson since it gave him time away from Adam. Adam was right, Pamela was really hot and reminded Kris he was bisexual. Kris felt guilty because he wasn’t discouraging her flirting with him. She asked him if he wanted to grab some coffee. Kris was still annoyed that Adam had basically got rid of him so he agreed. After a couple cappuccinos, she invited Kris back to her apartment. Kris was tempted for a nanosecond but declined. They went back to the studio. She smiled, “Can I at least have a kiss goodbye?”

 _Fuck it, Adam sleeps around all the time anyway._ Kris kissed her and found himself getting excited. It had been a while since he had held a woman in his arms. He heard a car pull up and cursed at himself. Adam rolled down the window, “Should I pick you up later?”

Kris thanked Pamela again and got in the car. _Shit._ Adam plastered his fake smile and spoke, “I take it you got along well? Did you at least get a dance lesson or did I just basically buy you a fuck session?”

Kris should have known Adam would be a hypocrite. “It was just a kiss. Besides, we aren’t in a monogamous relationship and you are the one that set me up with a hot dance teacher.”

“Well, this falls under the same category as fucking former boyfriends. You don’t screw the dance teacher when I am paying for the lesson. I only said she was hot so you wouldn’t feel emasculated taking a dance class. But, regardless I am going to be the bigger person and let it go.”

“Excellent.” Kris just sat back as Adam drove them back to Kris apartment. They had mutually decided to just stay at Kris’ place since they were used to sharing small spaces. As much as Adam liked his independence, he seemed to prefer living with Kris. They arrived back at the apartment and Kris was surprised to see the table set for dinner. Adam had ordered Thai food. “Don’t you have a benefit tonight?”

“I decided to cancel. It looked kind of lame.”

Kris bit his lip from smiling, “Well, you probably have ten other invites you could have chosen from.”

“Yeah or I could spend time with my cute guy. Listen, I am sorry I am acting like a chicken with his head cutoff. I’m a little nervous about True Blood and I think I am having separation anxiety.”

Kris laughed, “Separation anxiety? You won’t even commit to dating how can you even say that?”

“Well, I may not agree to be exclusive but for all intents and purposes we have been living together for months. I’m used to you being around. I don’t like being alone.”

Kris kissed him, “Well, I might not even be away that long. So when I move into the mansion are you going to stay in the apartment or move back to your house?”

Adam shrugged, “I don’t know. I was kind of thinking of subletting one of them. Unfortunately, I have too much shit to fit apartment. Would you be ok if I rent out the apartment?”

Kris was not happy about it but didn’t want it to show, “It’s your apartment, Adam, I’m just freeloading so you can do whatever you like. I’m sure I could stay with Brad until I figured something out.” Kris really did not need the additional stress of being homeless if he didn’t make it to the next week.

“I was kind of hoping you would come back to the house. You know…move in…permanently. If it didn’t work out I could always get you another place but it seems silly to keep separate places when we stay together all the time.”

Kris was caught off guard, “I thought you didn’t want to get serious and now you want to live together. Won’t that cramp your style? I would not appreciate coming home and finding you with another guy.”

Adam rolled his eyes, “This isn’t a marriage proposal and still does not mean we are monogamous but I won’t take anyone home with me.”

“Really? You aren’t going to get drunk with your friends and take some twink home? Why would you limit yourself like that?”

Adam shrugged, “I guess because the unpleasantness of not sleeping next to you and not having you in the house outweighs the inconvenience of modify some of my behaviors. Anyway, I’ll be in Vancouver for at least two or three weeks filming so you can think about it. If you don’t want to live with me, everything can stay the same.”

“Ok, I’ll think about it but let me clarify. If I move into your house, you promise you won’t have sex with anyone in the house? Even, if I am not home?”

Adam nodded enthusiastically, “Yeah, I don’t think it is a good idea for my tricks to see where I live anyway.”

Kris decided to just ignore that last tidbit and just leave the whole “live with Adam” idea alone. It finally hit him that Adam was going out of town, “So, with Brad busy and you gone, who am I going to get to go to the show?”

“Oh no worries, I promised some friends of mine they could go to a taping. There were a lot of people that I couldn’t give a ticket to when I was on.”

Kris could not believe Adam’s audacity, “You gave away my tickets?”

Adam shrugged, “So what, you didn’t have anyone else to invite. My friends will cheer you on.”

Kris was pissed but didn’t want to start a fight. Adam served then some food and they just ate and chatted about some of the contestants. After dinner, Adam asked Kris what he wanted to do.

“Nothing. I thought you were going to a benefit tonight so I rented a couple movies.”

“Well, than we will just have a movie night. Did you get movies I’d like?”

“Nope, I got action films because again I thought you were going out.”

“No matter, we can watch something on cable. I think there is a foreign movie festival on Logo.”

Kris knew Adam wouldn’t like the movies he picked out but refused to cave in completely. They settled on a South Park marathon and went to bed early. Adam managed to clear his schedule for the next couple evenings and Kris compromised by attending a club opening with Adam. Kris figured it would make the papers since there had been some paparazzi around. However, he was not prepared for the news story featuring his mother accusing Adam Lambert of turning her son gay.

American Idol called the next day and told Kris his parents were not allowed to talk to the media. Kris tried to explain they were estranged but the show was still pissed. Kris called up Daniel and tried to get him to shut his mother up. Kris saw Adam laughing by the computer, “Hey Kris, your parents are a hoot. Your Mom is on extra saying you were jilted by a fiancé and God sent me as a temptation. She also told everyone you were saving yourself for marriage until you met me. How humiliating for you. Is that true?”

“No, Adam, my mother is delusional.”

Adam kept laughing, “Oh and your Dad said he wasn’t surprised I was able to corrupt you since, let me get this right, oh yeah he said you were very impressionable and slow as a child. He also claims it won’t last since you never see things through.” Adam laughed again.

Kris could not believe how insensitive Adam was being, “Adam, this isn’t funny. American Idol could disqualify me.”

“Well, actually it is really funny. Don’t worry I have a lawyer on retainer if it gets ugly.”

Adam kept laughing as he read more articles Kris pushed him, “They are my parents, Adam. They are making me a laughing stock and the black sheep.”

“Well, you can’t choose family. I am sorry they are making you look like white trash but what did you expect. They were jerks to you during the tour. I heard you on the phone that time. If you want I can try and get Lane to quiet them with a bribe.”

“Adam, they are my parents they are not going to take a bribe.”

“Maybe they will. Don’t they have a mortgage? Anyway, it is our last night together let’s not waste it worrying about this.”

Kris just walked away and went in the bedroom. Kris started hyperventilating from stress. Adam came in and rolled his eyes before handing Kris a paper bag, “Dude, you have to chill. This competition barely even began.” Adam seemed to think for a moment, “What are you going to do if you make it to the home parade? I’d be scared to go home if I were you.”

 _Adam definitely was not helping him feel better._ Adam must have finally realized he was making it worse and Kris was really not breathing. Adam put his arms around him and just tried to soothe him. Kris calmed down and felt emotionally spent. “I don’t want to go to the mansion tomorrow.”

Adam laughed, “I’m sorry baby but you have to go. It will be fun and you’ll make new friends.”

Kris pushed Adam, “It’s not summer camp. Besides, most of the contestants hate me. I wish you were staying in LA.”

“I am only a phone call away. I could fly in over the weekend but you are going to be way to busy the first few weeks. We’ll talk every night. Kris, I really want you to enjoy this. You are living the dream.”

Kris shrugged, “I was already living my other dream.”

Adam kissed him and Kris tried responding. He was a little too worked up for sex and Adam seemed to notice after a while, “Wow, you really are nervous.”

“I’m sorry. I am just scared and upset about my parents. You think they would be proud of me instead of hating me.”

“Everyone has that obnoxious uncle and witchy aunt. They have to be someone’s parents. You just lucked out I guess. They are probably just surprised since you don’t come off gay and you were engaged to a woman. Me, I was obvious from the day I could walk and talk. My parents knew before I did that I was gay so they had time to get used to it. I think it is harder in your case because you are bisexual. People will see it as a choice you are making. But, it is your life and you are free to make any choices you like.”

Kris hugged Adam, “I’m not sure it’s a choice. I don’t think I would choose to fall in love with the world’s biggest diva.”

Adam laughed, “Yeah, well few can resist the Glambert charm.” Adam pulled Kris up against him, “I promise things are going to work out just fine.” Kris hugged Adam and felt himself relax a bit. Well, enough to get excited again. Unlike their usual passionate frenzy, Adam took it slow and gentle. Kris could feel Adam’s love and still could not understand why he wouldn’t commit. Kris had seen and heard Adam fucking people enough to know it didn’t even come close to what they had.

The next day Kris was busy packing. Adam helped him and they headed to the mansion. Kris was really nervous and Adam seemed pensive. The security recognized Adam and let him pull into the drive. Adam helped Kris carry his bags. Kris would have had less but Adam kept insisting he couldn’t do without stuff. Kris was grateful he was not sharing a room with Gokey. His roommate would be Anoop who had arrived earlier and already claimed the better bed.

“That’s good. He wasn’t too good so maybe you will get your own room by next week.”

Kris pushed Adam, “That is mean.”

Adam shrugged and then kissed Kris, “Maybe I am partial to my baby.”

They heard a cough and Kris jumped away from Adam. Matt and Megan were standing at the doorway. Adam smiled, “Congratulations. I was just telling Kris how talented his group is this season. Anyway, I have to go home and pack since I am flying out tonight. Have fun and call me when you can.”

Kris hugged Adam feeling like he really was being left at summer camp. Before leaving Adam took out a small box and gave it to Kris, “For luck.” Adam walked out.

Matt looked at the box, “Is that an engagement ring from Adam Lambert?”

Kris just looked at Matt, “I highly doubt it. We aren’t that serious.” Kris didn’t want to open the box in front of them but they didn’t seem to be leaving. Kris held is breath and opened it. It was a tiny gold pendant with the eye of horus. Unlike Adam’s bold style, this was a small delicate piece on a long thin gold chain which he could wear under his shirt. He smiled knowing Adam really believed in all that superstitious shit. Matt nodded, “That’s a nice gift. It still would have been great for rating if you had gotten engaged.”

Kris just shook his head, “I am not even sure if men can marry in California but regardless things aren’t like that, we are just good friends.”

Matt snorted, “Back home we call that friends with benefits.”

Kris blushed which made it hard to deny. Allison came in and hugged him. Kris spent the first night with all of them and was relieved he had a few friends. The rest of the people were regarding him coldly. The next few days flew by quickly because they were busy preparing for the first show. Kris decided to choose a song way out of his comfort zone. He chose Sex on Fire the Kings of Leon. Kris changed up the arrangement and set it to acoustic guitar. Kris was happy with it and wished Adam was going to be at the show. They had played phone tag a lot between Adam’s filming schedule and American Idol’s fast and furious pace.

All the idols were in a bubble so Kris had no idea what his parents were up to in regards to the media. Adam had said there were no new stories so either they had moved on or Adam’s was sheltering him. The night of the show, Kris was shocked when his “friends and family” came over at the pre-show gathering. Leave it to Adam to invite not only a few artsy people but none other than Ke$ha. Kris fell over himself meeting her. She hugged him hello, “Adam gave me strict instructions to cheer you on and make a lot of noise. He’s right you are really cute.”

Kris blushed and introduced her to some of the other contestants. Ke$ha created quite a buzz and made Kris forget his nerves. Danny seemed annoyed that Kris had another famous fan. Especially when Ke$ha didn’t give him the time of day. During the show, Ryan Seacrest joked that people should vote for Kris just to see who else he knew. That grated on Kris because once again it was distracting everyone from his music. Adam must have known that would happen and he sort of resented Adam not running it by him.

Kris did his song and the judges praised him but it didn’t matter since he was becoming known more for his connections than his abilities! After the show, they were rushed back to the mansion because they were working on the group number at eight AM. Kris called Adam still feeling annoyed.

“Adam, you invited Ke$ha as my guest? It created a ridiculous stir and is going to make me look like either a player or a kinky jerk. People already think you fool around with her.”

“Kris, you are over reacting. I thought she would make a good stand in for me. Besides, you needed something to make you stand out.”

“I want to stand out because of my singing!”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Everyone sings, you need an angle.”

“How about my musical skills or even the being the ‘nice guy’?”

“Tough sell when everyone thinks you fucked me to get a break. No, the innocent boy routine won’t work either. Trust me, Kris, I know how to get publicity.”

“Adam, I just want to sing. I don’t want this other bullshit.” Why couldn’t Adam get it? “Adam, don’t you see I want to make it based on my vocals.”

“That won’t work. Even I had to work at it and I am a much better singer.”

Kris felt like the world stopped, “You really think you are a better singer?”

“No, I know I am a better singer. Anyway, I’m not on the show. The problem is Danny and Allison are better singers too.”

Kris could not believe Adam was saying this shit to his face. “You think Gokey is better?”

“Well, I think he and Allison are technically better singers. I think you are a much better artist than Danny and Allison is still young.”

“Do you think YOU are a better artist than me?”

Adam sighed, “Stop looking for a fight. I am just trying to help you. If you don’t want me to help fill your guest seats than I won’t. Just make sure Lane calls Rihanna because she was going to next week’s performance.”

Kris almost choked, “Rihanna was going to come and see me?”

“Yeah, well I do have one or two celeb friends. Hey, but if you don’t want my help…”

Kris was torn because he really did want to meet Rihanna and if this Idol think didn’t work, it would help to know people. Plus, now Kris was worried he was going to be out sung. “What did you think of my performance?”

“I didn’t see it yet but I will watch it the second I get back to my hotel room. I am still on set. Listen, I gotta do another scene. I’ll call you later. I love you.”

Kris just hung up without returning the sentiment. He decided not to call Lane since he really did want to meet Rihanna…Besides, he had o make it through to the next round for it to even be an issue. Kris turned off his ringer and went to sleep. The next day, Kris was busy from the moment he woke up until the show began taping. Kris looked over and saw Monte and his family sitting in his seats. Kris was grateful for the support and glad it wasn’t anyone ultra famous. Kris made the cut and went out to dinner with the other idols to say goodbye to one of the not so lucky contestants.

Kris had several missed calls on his phone from Adam. Kris listened to the messages and smiled. Adam had tried apologizing, then tried complimenting Kris’ talent and then even left a phone sex message to get him to call back. Kris decided to just let Adam reflect on his insensitiveness and went to bed. The next day was going to be busy. It was nice having Adam chasing him and also nice having a life.


	14. Chapter 14

The next morning Kris woke, showered and went down to breakfast. After eating some great blueberry pancakes he decided to call Adam back. Since it was before nine am, Kris figured he would just get Adam’s voice mail.

He was caught off guard when Adam actually answered, “Kris! What the fuck? I have been trying to call you all night. Did you lose your phone?”

“Nope.”

“Did you get my messages?”

“Yup”

“So why the fuck didn’t you call me back?”

“I am calling you back.”

“Oh, I see you want to play games with me and act like a diva back. Is that it?”

Kris hung up the phone. It was too early for Adam’s shit. Kris went back upstairs to grab his stuff. Adam called back five minutes later, “Look, I just wanted to tell you how great you were the other night and you totally deserved to make it into the top 11. One more and you make the tour.”

“Yeah, listen I gotta go we are finding out what theme is this week. I am hoping for something broad. I’ll call you tonight.”

“OK, baby, but call me. I really miss talking to you and it’s kind of lonely up here in Vancouver.”

 _Yeah, I just bet it is._ “I am sure you can find a friend.”

“Yeah, but I don’t usually talk to them. Anyway, have fun and tell Allison I said hello.”

Kris hung up and joined the others. He went downstairs and was horrified to learn it was going to be Disney week. _Totally not cool._ Kris started looking through the song lists completely ignorant of Disney tunes, while the others quickly chose the best ones. They were suppose to choose their song in one day but technically they had until the night of the performance which was in six days.

Kris went online to research songs but could not help googling himself. He saw a few of his high school classmates interviewed all claiming they never knew he could sing nor that he was gay. The media began to build on the angle that Kris wasn’t really gay but simply ambitious. Perez Hilton pointed out that there were plenty of street hustlers that were straight but still sucked cock. Kris definitely did not appreciate the analogy.

It didn’t help his mood seeing a video of Adam at a restaurant with a cute guy. Kris felt like he was hitting rock bottom. However, he should have realized it was a bottomless pit. He saw TMZ had an exclusive interview with Julie Matson, Kris Allen’s ex-fiancé. Kris knew that it was going to be really bad…but read it anyway. She basically told the world he sucked in bed and wasn’t a very attentive boyfriend. She went on to say she didn’t think he was gay but based on what a lousy job he did at the hardware store she wasn’t surprised he would stoop to using someone to get ahead. _Bitch!_

Kris stayed up the whole night freaking out and unable to pick a song. Unfortunately, the lack of sleep made him punchy. They were all herded into a conference room to do some promotion interviews. Kris met with a PR rep who told him to just be friendly and try to seem genuine. Kris was assigned a nice female reporter who immediately put him at ease.

“So Kris, you are considered the ‘cute guy’.” Kris smiled think about how much dirtier it sounded when Adam used the term. “So are you single?”

Kris became to stress, “I guess so.”

“Mm. Do you have a type?”

Kris was trying to concentrate but his mind was slow. Hating the impregnated pause he blurted out the first thing that came to mind, “I guess. I usually go for petite, curvy blondes.”

The reporter frowned, “I thought you were with Adam Lambert?”

Kris became flustered and started sweating. _Not good._ He looked around for help but all the PR reps were busy with other contestants. He heard the reporter asking another question, “Aren’t you gay?”

“No…er…I am bisexual. I like girls…and boys.” Kris was choking on his knee. “Er…can we talk about something else?”

“Sure, so how confident are you going into Disney week?”

Luckily, a bell sounded before he could do more damage. The PR people came around and herded out the media. Kris wanted to die. Allison came over, “That wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.”

“Speak for yourself. I just nailed my own coffin.”

The interviews were released on the internet later that morning. Kris had hoped the show would have viewed them first but apparently they didn’t. They were trying to keep things real since they were criticized in the past for not giving the media any access to the contestants.

Kris was called into Jeff’s office, “Well, you certainly continue to create a buzz. What were you doing in that interview? Why would you say a type completely opposite of Adam? It make all the allegations that you are a manipulator seem credible. His fans are going to rip you apart on the net. I think you better call your boyfriend to do some damage control.”

Kris just frowned, “He might not want to once he sees that interview.”

The musical director kept badgering him for a song and out of frustration Kris just chose the only song he knew. Feeling like everything was futile, Kris just picked “Under the sea” from the little mermaid to be done with it. Maybe a peppy song would keep the crowd from booing too much. Brad called Kris a few hours later, “Holy shit Kris you are virile and not in a good way.”

“I know. I really fucked up is Adam pissed?”

“I don’t know. His phone is off. How is everything going otherwise? I’m sorry I haven’t called much but I was spending quality time with my new boyfriend. I wish I had known you were in trouble.”

Kris said he had to go because Brad was just getting him more upset. He started to have a panic attack. One of the handlers suggested he see the nurse. The nurse wanted to give him something to calm him down put Kris refused. With his luck he would have an allergic reaction and the media would claim he tried to kill himself. Kris was taken back to the mansion. He was missing valuable practice time but that probably didn’t even matter. His cell rang a few hours later.

“Hey, baby, what’s going on? Brad left a cryptic message saying you were having a melt down.”

“Didn’t you see the media?”

“No, I am on set. I just listened to my voicemails and Brad’s message made me nervous so I called you immediately.”

“I totally fucked up.” Kris felt all the stress and tension from the last couple days explode he went hysterical, “You are going to hate me and believe that I am using you. I told some stupid reporter I like blond curvy girls and then when they asked about you I just clammed up. Then I told them I was bisexual. Perez has been saying all along I am not gay but just a hustler now I proved him right. I am going to be voted off, you are going to dump me and then I am going to be homeless.”

“Listen, I am sure it is not that bad.” Adam laughed, “I think after spending months in close proximity to me, you may have adopted some of my dramatic flair.” Kris heard Adam pull the phone away, “Lane, sweetie, will you find a you tube of Kris’ being interviewed today. Thanks.” Adam came back on the phone, “Kris, I am on set so if they call me, I will call you back as soon as I can.”

“I am sorry for being a pain in the ass. I know you are working if you want to go its cool. I’ll be fine.”

Kris could hear his voice in the background and knew Adam was watching the interview. Kris held his breath waiting for Adam’s reaction.

“Motherfucker! Where were all the PR people when this was going on?”

“I am sorry, Adam-“

“Kris, wasn’t a PR person with you?”

“They were walking around and no one was near me when I started panicking.”

“Well, you are definitely not one of those people that can ‘wing it’. When I was on the show, they never threw us to the wolves. Granted you kind of flayed yourself but still they should have been there to stop you. Why didn’t you just play it off as a joke?”

“I panicked.” Kris felt small and stupid.

Adam laughed, “All well, it was actually kind of funny. Listen, what’s done is done. You need to focus on getting ready for your next performance. I’ll try and get my PR people to figure something out. I doubt the idol people will do much.”

“Adam, you are in the middle of filming, you shouldn’t have to be distracted by more bullshit. Seriously, there is no sense in us both fucking up.”

“Kris, first off, I am too perfect to fuck up. Second, I want to help you. I am just sorry I am not there to give you a hug.”

“You don’t think I used you do you?”

Adam laughed, “If you were using me, you would be much nicer. Look, I am diva so I don’t give a shit what anyone thinks or says. I know the truth about us and no amount of stupid stories or silly interviews you do will change that. Just like my mother’s opinion of you fell to deaf ears, so does Perez Hilton’s stupid remarks. Look, focus on your song. What are you singing?”

“Under the Sea.”

“That lobster song from little mermaid?”

Kris started to feel dumb again and got defensive, “Yeah, there weren’t a lot of choices.”

“Fuck, Kris, forget the media and sort yourself out. You can’t afford to go into this round with retarded song. Shit, I gotta go but listen I love you and nothing even you say will change that. So, go find a new song and I’ll call you tonight.”

Kris felt much calmer now that Adam was involved. Kris felt bad interrupting him while he was working on his first non-reality TV show. It was the last thing Adam needed but Kris was grateful just the same. He began to work on his song hoping to make it better. Two hours later, Kris had to agree it was a retarded song.

Adam called him at eleven. “So what song did you decide on?”

“I am still trying to fix ‘Under the Sea.’ I really want to stay on neutral ground.”

Adam laughed, “I think it is a bad choice but OK, just don’t try to fake a Jamaican accent. So, how you holding up?”

“I am tired of everyone hating me and thinking I am a bad person.”

“You can quit the show and go back to being my boy toy.”

“Mm…maybe. How is the filming going?”

“Pretty good but it is long hours. Not as glamorous as I thought but the cast is cool. One of the producers tried to hit on me claiming he could get me a permanent role. I laughed and told him I was too busy being a world famous rock star. What a tool. Anyway, I wish I was back in LA.”

Kris couldn’t hold back, “I saw your photo with some cute guy at a restaurant.”

“Yeah, I didn’t feel like eating alone so I took one of the camera guys.”

“So nothing happened?”

“Do you really want me to answer?”

Kris pushed down his jealousy, “No, I guess not. So when are you coming home?”

“I am trying to get a pass next Wednesday so I can come to your performance. I’ll fly in and fly out the same day.”

“Adam, you don’t have to-“

“Kris, I want to see you and I want to help you. I can’t promise it is going to happen but I’ll try. Plus, I think I need to chaperone you with Rihanna. I think her hair is blonde right now.”

Kris laughed, “I love you.”

“I love you too. Now, try and get some sleep. Maybe we should have phone sex. You tend to fall asleep right after an orgasm.”

“I am in a house full of people. I can’t just go somewhere and jack off. If you do come here try and build a few hours in so we can fool around. I miss having you inside me.”

Adam let out a small moan, “You are cruel, Kris. OK, well, I am going to get off the line and jack off. I’ll be picturing you underneath me. When you start feeling down, just remember you are the only person that has the world’s biggest diva lusting after you.” Adam became more serious, “Kris, forget all this bullshit and focus on the music. Pick a song that speaks to you and sing it the way you want. Don’t worry about me, the audience or the media. Sing for you.”

Kris hung up, remembering why he and Adam were not only lovers but friends. He fell asleep almost immediately. He woke up the next day feeling calmer and more focused on the competition. Kris went back to the song list and chose “You will be in my Heart” from Tarzan. He informed the musical director he wanted to switch. Michael Orland smiled, “I think that is a much better choice. I was having trouble getting steel drums.”

Kris worked on an arrangement and started to feel more positive. His brother called and told him a bunch of media people had been pouring all through Conway looking for gossip. He also told them they interviewed Katy. Katy had been Kris’ first girlfriend before Julie. They had got on well but decided to break it off because the passion wasn’t there. The break up had been amicable but Julie had insisted he stop hanging out with his ex-girlfriend and Kris had caved. Kris decided not to go online and they became so busy with rehearsals, ford commercials and photo ops he forgot about everything else.

Tuesday night Adam called, “Hey baby, I am set to fly out tomorrow morning. I will get to LA around two. I have to do a quick promo event but I will try to get to the studio early. I don’t fly back out until eleven so we may even get a quick booty call.”

“I can’t wait to see you.”

“Hey, your first girlfriend was a cutie. You really do like them blonde. Anyway, she may have helped your cause by saying you were really sweet and incapable of using people. She also totally ripped on your ex-fiancé saying she cheated on you with your boss. So as long as you don’t to a retarded song, you may just make it through.”

“Does it bother you I like blonde, curvy women?”

“Not as long as you like raven haired, well endowed men.”

Kris laughed and couldn’t wait to see Adam.

The night of the performance they had a photo shoot that ran long so they got to the studio just before taping. Kris was annoyed that he didn’t get to see Adam before the show. Kris looked out from backstage and saw Adam in all his glitter sitting with Rihanna, his brother Daniel and Cale. Kris had no idea how they got to LA. Kris went out on stage and began to sing:

 _You'll be in my heart  
No matter what they say  
You'll be here in my heart, always_

 _Why can't they understand  
the way we feel  
They just don't trust  
what they can't explain  
I know we're different but,  
deep inside us  
We're not that different at all_

 _And you'll be in my heart  
Yes, you'll be in my heart  
From this day on  
Now and forever more_

 _Don't listen to them  
'Cause what do they know  
We need each other,  
to have, to hold  
They'll see in time  
I know_

 _'Cause you'll be in my heart  
Believe me, you'll be in my heart  
I'll be there from this day on  
Now and forever more_

 _Oh, you'll be in my heart  
No matter what they say  
You'll be here in my heart, always  
Always_

Kris finished and look up to see Adam smiling and giving him the thumbs up. Kris smiled back. The judges all gave him props and Simon Cowell even commented, “I hope people put aside their preconceptions and vote on talent. I truly believe you deserve to make it to the next round so I hope they vote on that.”

Kris got off stage but continued to watch from the sidelines. During a break he saw Ryan by Adam and Rihanna obviously interviewing them. Kris hoped Adam didn’t say anything to bad.

Danny came over, “So, I see your lover’s bailing you out again. If you make it to the tour, his he going to come on the road to try and warm up the crowd for you too? You really have no morals.”

Kris just walked away. At the end of the show, friends and family were invited backstage for an after party since the pre-gathering was cancelled by the photo op. Kris went over by Cale and Daniel. He hugged them, “How did you get here?”

Cale responded, “Some girl, Lane, sent us a car and plane tickets this morning and here we are. We are staying until Saturday. I think we are staying in your place. Pretty fancy digs although I didn’t need to see your bathroom cabinet or your night table drawer.”

Kris blushed thinking all the incriminating evidence…also wishing he had thrown out some of the more kinky sex toys Adam had bought. Kris just shook his head, “Well, stop snooping. Thanks for coming though.”

“You were great and Adam is actually really cool. Personally, I would have went for Rihanna but I guess if I liked guys Adam would be a good choice.”

Kris looked over at Adam who was looking gorgeous laughing with his head thrown back, “Even if you like both, Adam is the best choice.”


	15. Chapter 15

As usual, Adam was swamped by adoring admirers. Kris couldn’t help feeling a little neglected but then he kept meeting Adam’s eyes and knew he wasn’t the only one wishing all these people would disappear. Adam finally broke away and came over. Kris hugged him tightly almost fearing he wasn’t real. Adam mumbled, “I missed you so much, baby.”

Kris could feel the glambulge against his stomach, “I can tell.”

Adam laughed and pulled back, “You looked gorgeous and sounded amazing. I was worried you were going to come out in a chef’s apron and tropical shirt. I am glad you decided to pass on the calypso.”

Kris laughed, “Yeah, someone gave me good advice.”

Adam was staring at Kris with what could best be described as a predatory look. Kris had seen it often enough and could tell Adam had only one thing on his mind. Knowing it was neither the time nor the place, Kris tried to distract him, “How is the show coming along?”

Adam shrugged, “I have to be at the studio at nine am tomorrow. I am flying out tonight.”

Kris was disappointed, “How soon?”

“I have to head for the airport in an hour or so.” Kris was trying to calculate how long it would take them to get to the mansion. Adam seeming to sense what Kris was doing, laughed, “I have a better idea.”

Adam pulled him out of the main room and into the men’s bathroom. Although Kris trusted Adam, a horny!Adam was never a prudent!Adam. There was no lock on the door so Adam pushed him into one of the stalls.

“Adam, this is a really bad idea.”

“Desperate times call for desperate measures. Me not getting any alone time with you is definitely a tragedy that needs to be averted.” Adam kissed him passionately which as usual affected Kris judgment. Kris began forgetting his objections. Adam unzipped Kris’ pants and wrapped his hand around his cock. Kris stopped thinking all together. Adam stroked him and started kissing him on his neck. “I want to fuck you so hard, you think of me all through the results show.”

Kris responded by moaning. Adam tried to open his own pants and managed to bang his elbows on the stall walls. Kris laughed, “Adam, I don’t think this is going to work.”

“Babe, I’ve fucked in a lot worse places. It will work. We may get a little bruised but it is going to work.” Adam continued to stroke Kris with one hand and pick at his own clothes with his other hand. Kris heard something plop in the toilet.

“Fuck, that’s the lube. Will you help me out here before we lose more essential supplies?”

Kris bit his tongue, “What do you want me to do?”

“Fish the lube out of the toilet?”

“No fucking way.”

“OK, can I fuck you without lube?”

“No and I still think this is a really bad idea.”

“OK, plan B.” Adam sat down on the toilet bowl and took Kris’ whole length in his mouth. Adam was an awesome deep throater. When he didn’t have to sing, he could put sword swallowers to shame. Kris found himself pumping into Adam wildly. Kris came with a load moan. The last few shivers of his orgasm were interrupted by the door opening. Kris froze and looked down at Adam. Adam covered his own mouth to keep from laughing. It was two people.

“Can you believe how hot Rihanna is? I think I would pretend to be gay too if I’d get to meet hot chicks too.”

Kris recognized one of the voices as his roommate, Anoop and was pissed. The other voice was Danny, “No way would I suck any guys cock even for a record deal. It is disgusting and should be illegal. It is an abomination against God and an act of evil. Faggots go to hell.”

Kris knew Adam was not going to look the other way. Kris quickly began tucking himself away but Adam kicked the stall open before he was totally finished. Adam stood up, “Really Danny? That shit may fly in whatever trailer trash park you grew up in but in the real world those sentiments are considered to be ignorant and offensive.”

Danny looked at Adam and then Kris, “What were you two doing hiding in there?”

Adam smiled, “What do you think we were doing? According to your thinking I guess I was being an abomination but between us.” Adam licked his lips, “I think it tasted more like heaven then hell.” Adam turned and kissed Kris deeply, “Sorry babe, you gotta deal with these assholes. I gotta catch my flight. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

Adam walked out of the bathroom. Danny and Anoop were staring at him with their jaws on the ground. Rather than deal with it, Kris ran out after Adam. He caught up with him in the main room. Kris pulled him aside, “I told you that was a bad idea.”

“Well, it was good in theory but those jerks interfered with my turn. You got a blow job so I don’t know why you are mad. I am the one with blue balls.”

“Yeah, but I have to face these people tomorrow. They are going to tell the whole house we had sex in the bathroom.”

“Like that is your biggest problem. You got a ex blabbing to the world you suck in bed, a mother saying your possessed and a father telling everyone your dumb. I doubt you having sex in a bathroom stall is even gonna turn heads. Now, seriously I gotta go. Adam kissed him short on the lips. Kris noticed the room get a little quieter. Adam laughed, “See now you can focus on that scandal instead. Later, Rockstar.”

Kris watched as the diva he knew so well strutted out the room. Kris looked over and saw Allison grinning. Kris went back by Cale and his brother and focused on catching up on their lives. Kris went back to the mansion with the rest of the contestants. He ignored the funny looks in the car. The next morning he woke up a little late and hurried downstairs. They would spend the day rehearsing the group number and then head over to results night.

When he arrived at breakfast he saw Danny smirking, “I guess your boyfriend wasn’t too satisfied with your bathroom performance.”

Kris had no idea what Danny was talking about so just ignored him. Unfortunately, Danny didn’t get the hint, “Does he always fuck other people on long flights?”

 _Fuck, please say he didn’t._ Allison threw a bagel at Danny, “Shut up, Danny. It is probably just bullshit made up by the media.”

“Yeah right, he didn’t deny it.”

Kris took out his blackberry and sure enough Adam was all over the web. _’Glambert gets slapped on the wrist for joining mile high club; Adam Lambert fined for having sex during a flight; Sexbert at it again; Kris Allen not enough, Adam Lambert not tamed.’_ Kris was not only hurt but really pissed off. _How could Adam humiliate him like this?_

To make matters worse, Adam tweeted all but admitting to the incident, “What? I thought you just couldn’t meddle with the smoke detectors.”

As the day wore on more articles came out that focused more on the fact that he was on his way back from seeing Kris. Perez claimed “that is what happens when you fool around with straight men, they leave you needing more…”

Brad called, “Did that asshole call you and apologize yet?”

“No, I haven’t heard from him. I look like a real jerk. It is even worse because we got busted fooling around in the bathroom and then he goes and does this. He is never going to change.”

“I am sorry, Kris. That really was a shitty thing he did.”

Kris went to the show still having not heard from Adam. Kris hoped he made it to the top ten so he could tour. At least he would get a break from Adam. Kris was in the bottom three. _Not good._ Kris was really nervous. Cale and Daniel were giving him supportive looks. Luckily, Jorge Nunoz version of Colors of the Wind was awful. Kris made it to the top ten! After the shows, Cale and Daniel came over and hugged him.

“You did it, bro, you are going on a fucking music tour! Hey, what is up with your boyfriend? Did you see he got arrested for having sex on a plane?”

“He was arrested?”

Cale pushed Daniel, “Nah, he was just fined. According to USA today, his flight had an air marshal aboard and the guy got nervous when he saw two men go in the lavatory. He got mouthy when the air marshal questioned him so and basically admitted to getting a blow job. As soon as he got off the plane, TSA detained him and issued him a ticket. I thought you two were still together?”

“Yeah, well, one of us is a little less committed than the other.”

“Obviously. That sucks that everyone knows he cheats on you. It makes you look kind of pathetic.”

Kris felt like he got punched in the gut. It was true. First Julie and now Adam. Well, Adam technically wasn’t cheating since he didn’t even respect Kris enough to commit in the first place!

“Adam, isn’t cheating since we are not monogamous.”

“You should consider being monogamous because now you look stupid.”

“Thanks.”

Kris went back to his room. Adam called that night, “Congratulations, baby, I knew you could do it.”

As usual, Adam seemed to think there was nothing wrong, “Adam are you going to act like there is no problem?”

“Yeah, I have had all day to cool off. I’m not mad at you anymore.”

 _What?_ “Mad at me? Adam you publicly humiliated me. How could you blow some guy on a plane not less than an hour after seeing me?”

Kris heard Adam sigh, “I am so sick of this always being about you. How about the fact that I am taking the fall on this one? I am the one that’s in all the talk shows monologues. I’m the one that had to pay the fine which was pretty hefty.”

“Yeah, but you’re the one that got his dick sucked on a fucking plane! I am also getting ribbed and I didn’t do anything.”

“Don’t play so innocent, Allen. You let me walk out of the studio with a loaded weapon, sort of speak. You know I have little self control when I am horny. You should have serviced me back before I left.”

Diva Adam was back full force. His argument was so ludicrous it was almost funny. Almost, except Adam wasn’t laughing. “Adam, you really think you getting busted on a commercial flight for having sex is my fault?”

“I think you should take some ownership. After all, I wouldn’t have been on the fucking plane if I didn’t fly in to support you. So, yeah, I think you could be a little more understanding and at least have the decency to be supportive.”

Kris took a deep breath, “Adam, why didn’t you just jerk off?”

“Get real, I am Adam Lambert I don’t have to jerk off. Besides, the guy was totally dying to blow me and I felt selfish saying no.”

“Give me a break.”

“Come on, I am sure most men would choose a blow job over jerking off. Look, you obviously don’t want to be reasonable and I don’t want to fight. Let’s just drop it and talk about something else before one of us gets really pissed off.”

“Too late.”

“Fuck you, Kris. I am physically and emotionally exhausted from helping you. If you think I am so bad for your image, then I’ll just as soon keep my ass in Vancouver and not worry about you. Good night.” Adam hung up.

Kris wasn’t sure how he felt. Part of him was hurt that Adam ran to another lover so quick but the other part felt bad he was being so judgmental. Maybe, they should just be friends. The only problem was the uncontrollable lusting. If Kris could only resist Adam then his life might be a little less insane.

The next day Kris read the papers and Adam was still getting some heat. Of course, everyone was being kind and chalking it up his bad boy behavior to just being Glambert. Some even claimed Adam was being targeted for being gay. Danny and a couple of the other assholes in the house, kept making snide comments. Kris just focused on his next song which was going to be Man in the Mirror.

Kris met Daniel and Cale the day before they had to fly back to Conway. Cale and Daniel were acting a little strange. Kris didn’t want to know but knew bad news didn’t get better with time. Kris took a deep breath, “What is wrong? Did Adam humiliate me more?”

“No it’s not about Adam. It’s about your ex.”

“What did Julie say now? Is she still complaining about my bedroom performance?”

“Julie is really mad because Katy said nasty things about her. She is also jealous because you seem to have been a better catch than she thought. She told Katy she was going to sell nude pictures of you for a lot of money.”

“What!”

“She claims she has nude pictures of you and is planning on selling them. She is probably bluffing.”

Kris started hyperventilating. Mostly, because Kris knew she had them. A few weeks before he found out Julie was cheating, he had agreed to pose for her naked. He hadn’t wanted to do it but they were having problems and she accused him of being too boring in bed. He had hoped by agreeing she would find him sexier. It was just another example of his pathetic people pleasing trait coming back to haunt him. He would be ruined! Kris knew in the past they had thrown contestants off for having racy photos. Worse, these were probably pathetic. Kris had never seen them but he remembered being really self conscious and uncomfortable taking them.

Kris looked down, “I guess I won’t be the next American Idol.”

 

Cale looked at him, “You didn’t? Kris, how could you be so stupid and take nude pictures? Wow, I would never have guessed you to be so kinky. What else have you been doing?”

Daniel shook his head, “Even I am not that dumb. You didn’t do any videos, did you?”

Kris would have gotten mad at them but he was too busy watching his life crumble and his dreams go up in flames. At least, there were no videos. At least none he knew about. Kris said goodbye to Cale and his brother and headed back to the mansion. He went to his room and just started shaking. What was he going to do? He needed to talk to someone…He grabbed his cell and called the only person who might understand.

Adam answered after a few rings sounding annoyed, “Kris, I am still really mad at you.”

Kris was still shaking and simply blurted, “I am going to be thrown off American Idol.”

“What? What happened?” Adam’s tone immediately changed and he sounded more concerned than mad.

“My ex fiancé is going to turn over nude photos of me to a tabloid.”

“Did you get paid for them?”

Kris wasn’t sure where Adam was going with this so he just answered, “No.”

“Well, then I don’t think they can kick you off. How bad are they?”

“Bad.”

“Are you in women’s lingerie or fucking animals?”

Kris wasn’t in the mood for jokes, “Don’t be ridiculous but I know I was nude and you could see everything.”

“Who cares you have a really good body? I think you will be ok as long as you aren’t doing anything morally reprehensible in the photos. Plenty of people let lovers take pictures of them.”

“Other people have been thrown off the show for less.”

“Actually, I think they just quit because they were embarrassed or had more things lurking in their past. Kris, this is the downside to fame. Things come out and you get judged. I told you I made it look easy but it’s really not. You have to grow a thick skin. I am sorry you have to deal with these pictures. I know it hurts having a former lover betray you. Look, just focus on the music and see how this plays out. I can try and get someone to buy her off for a few weeks.”

Kris hated to be more indebted to Adam but he also didn’t want the pictures to come out, “How much money do you think it will take?”

“Probably, only twenty thousand or so. You aren’t all that famous so I doubt TMZ is paying a fortune. I hate to cave to blackmailers but I know this would really freak you out right now.”

Kris had cringed at the amount but he really didn’t want the picture released. Just thr thought of them made him start to breathe fast. Kris felt bad about giving Adam a hard time the last they spoke, “I am sorry I was judgmental when you got caught on the plane.”

“I am sorry I got caught. Anyway, what are you singing this week?”

Kris noticed Adam said he was sorry he was caught rather than apologizing for the action. Kris decided to be open minded and let it slide, “Man in the Mirror.”

“Good choice. Now, stop beating yourself up over this and focus on making MJ proud. I will try and do damage control and buy that bitch off.”

“I will pay you back someday.”

“Pay me back in kind. Hopefully, you will owe me a blowjob everyday for the rest of my life. I will definitely collect on that. I’ll call you later, cute guy.”

Kris hung up and felt a little better. Kris noticed Adam didn’t call him stupid or even ask why he took the pictures. More importantly, Adam inferred that he wanted to be with Kris a long time. Maybe Adam was moving towards some kind of commitment and maybe Kris could learn to be less judgmental. Regardless of how callous Adam could be at times, he was one of the most reliable people Kris had ever known. He was loyal and caring. In short, he may be a five but he was really a stand up guy.


	16. Chapter 16

Kris was really distracted for the first few days after hearing Julie might release nude pictures of him. Adam had advised him not to mention it to the show and Kris listened. He had a feeling that would have been the straw that broke the camel’s back. Although it would have been a break from looking like the loser Adam cheats on all the time. Musically, he felt this week was going to be a train wreck. He just couldn’t focus.

Adam called him over the weekend, “Hey babe, how is it going?”

“I am still freaking out and my song sucks.”

“What are you singing?”

“Don Henley’s ‘All She Wants To Do Is Dance’.”

Adam didn’t say anything. Kris wondered if he knew the song, “It is kind of a classic rock/southern rock song.”  
“Yeah, I know the song. Well, maybe you found a way to make it sound good because frankly it is one of those songs that’s more fun to do then listen to being done. But, hey I am more of a glamrocker than a southern rocker.”

Kris had no time to change his song so just changed the subject, “Any news on Julie?”

“Well, she hasn’t released the pictures yet and I think you are safe for a few days. Lane spoke to her and offered her ten thousand dollars to keep them private. We’ll see what she says.”

“Is that enough money?”

“Who knows but if she wants to negotiate that will buy you more time. If she is after revenge, she may…like I said you are safe for a few days. I am wrapping things up here and hopefully will get back to LA by the end of the week. I can’t make it to your performance this week. Do you want me to send someone?”

Kris thought for a minute, “Nah, I’ll just invite Brad and his new boyfriend.”

“OK. I can’t wait to be back in LA. Good luck this week and call me Tuesday so I can give you a pep talk before your performance.”

Kris couldn’t wait for Adam to get back in town either. He was sort of relieved Adam couldn’t make the show. He would have looked stupid with Adam there after he got caught with another man. It was bad enough that his friends knew how pathetic he was but the whole world didn’t need that knowledge.

Kris stayed really busy. He was surprised to get a phone call from Katy O’Connell. They hadn’t spoken since Julie had forced him to sever their friendship. Katy told him she was in Orange County visiting her cousin who worked at Disneyland. Since he was so busy they couldn’t talk long. Hoping to get a chance to catch up, Kris invited her and her cousin to performance night. Katy enthusiastically accepted his invitation.

The night of the show he was pleased to see Katy and her cousin in the audience. Katy looked great. As he was walking on stage, he remembered he had forgotten to call Adam. Kris performed his song and got slammed by the judges. They hated the performance and Kris had a feeling he was in trouble. After the taping, Kris went over by Katy.

Katy hugged him, “Kris, it is so good to see you. I am so proud of you for finally pursuing your dreams.”

“Thanks. Although, I think tonight was a bit of a train wreck and not my best showing.”

“I thought it was fun. You know you don’t have to win to do well. Look at Daughtry, he got the boot and is doing just fine. Where is Adam Lambert?”

Kris wasn’t sure how he felt talking about Adam to Katy, “He is in Vancouver filming a TV show. So are you…married?” Kris wished he could have transitioned into the personal questions better but Katy didn’t seem offended.

“Please, I’m not even dating. I am considering moving to LA and finally trying my hand at acting. You inspired me to not just talk about it but to go for it.”

“Thanks but I hope you have a better experience than me. I am not liking this fame thing at all.”

Katy laughed, “Well, I am hoping to have an easier time of it. I am not nearly as interesting as you and I tend to avoid crazy people.”

“Then you are way ahead of me. How have you been, really?”

“I am good and happy to be out of Conway. I love LA. There are so many possibilities. I just miss my friends and family.”

“Well, I am here and I hope we can become friends again.”

Katy gave him a tentative smile,“I hope Adam Lambert isn’t as controlling as Julie.”

Kris was taken aback by Katy’s statement. For some reason, he had assumed Katy didn’t believe that he was seeing Adam. Kris just nodded, “He is far from controlling. In fact, I doubt he would even care if I was dating someone else. Er…not that we would be dating…or you would even consider…you know what I mean.” _Real smooth, Allen._

Katy laughed, “I don’t know you are getting kind of famous and I am trying to be a Hollywood starlet.”

 _What?_ Kris looked up and noticed the amusement in Katy’s eyes and smiled. They had always been able to joke about anything. Kris had never had that ease with Julie. He wasn’t even sure why he and Katy broke up but Kris wasn’t going to go there, “So my being bisexual doesn’t freak you out.”

“Not really. I worry more the type of people you date rather than their gender. If Adam treats you good and you like him then I am happy for you.” Katy looked down, “From what I have seen in the media, he doesn’t treat you too well but gossip papers lie. Anyway, it’s none of my business and I really do want to become friends again. I need to be able to hang out with at least one other cool person in LA.”

Kris was relieved Katy was so open minded. He also didn’t feel like defending Adam. Instead he said the first thing that popped in his head, “You know, you are still beautiful.”

Katy pushed him, “And you are still a subtle flirt. So, how are the other contestants?”

Kris hung out with Katy until pretty late and then gave her tickets to the results night. He went back to his room and noticed he had about 15 messages on his phone from Adam. _How sweet._ Adam was probably calling to console him on his bad performance. Kris felt a little guilty for not calling but it was so late. He decided it would be best to wait until the morning to call.

First thing in the morning Kris called Adam. Adam answered in an irate tone, “Did you lose your fucking phone? The point of a cell phone is that you are reachable at all times.”

“Calm down. I was busy and had my phone off. When I got your messages it was too late to call.” Kris was confused by Adam’s anger.

“Did you listen to them or scroll through my fucking text messages?”

Kris had been exhausted and had gone straight to bed, “Er…not yet.”

“What were you too busy fucking your ex-girlfriend? What the fuck, Kris?”

Kris was confused for a minute and then realized Adam must have seen Katy in the audience, “Katy is here pursuing acting and I invited her to the show. No big deal.”

“You are a fucking idiot. Why am I wasting my time and money to try and neutralize your other psycho girlfriend if you are just going to fuck it all up? Are you so stupid that I need to tell you who can and can’t be your ‘friends and family’?”

Adam’s tone and words were very condescending and Kris did not like it, “I don’t need you to do anything.”

“Really? Last I checked, you needed me to pay your fucking rent, you needed me to lend you my popularity, you needed me to keep the producers in check, you needed me to buy off your parents, and last but not least, you needed me to try and keep naked photos from surfacing. Given all your needs I keep having to meet, the least you could do is not sabotage my efforts! Are you trying to lose?”

“Well, I am happy to hear you are keeping a running tally but as usual to you fail to record the things you do to sabotage me? Like telling the media you pound into me, insisting you are single, blowing me in a public bathroom, and last but not least, getting caught with another guy on a plane leaving me! If I am trying to lose you are helping with that too!”

“Fuck you! Anyway, between your shitty song and lousy performance last night, you may be at the end of the road. Plus, since it looks like you dumped me, the glamberts won’t vote for you. I can’t see you making it past tonight.”

Kris was hurt by Adam’s criticism, “I didn’t think it was that lousy of a performance.”

“Try watching it again.”

Kris hung up both furious and sad. He had a full day ahead of him before results night. Kris noticed all the tabloids picked up on the fact that Adam was not at the show. They also recognized Katy as his ex-girlfriend and assumed he dumped Adam. Kris also noticed not all the articles demonized Kris and sanctified Adam. A few pointed to the fact that maybe Glambert’s mile high indiscretion was too much for even a gold digger to overlook. Well, they weren’t quite behind Kris but at least they acknowledged that Adam wasn’t a water-walker.

Brad called, “Good for you. I am glad you had some friends of your own show up. Adam was probably jealous and threw a diva fit.”

“You can say that. I don’t know if he was jealous but he was mad. Julie, my other ex, has nude pictures and threatened to release them after Katy insulted her. So Adam yelled at me for inviting her to the show.”

Brad paused, “Nude pictures? Are they hot?”

“I doubt it. Anyway, the point is we had a bad fight and he said a lot of mean things as usual.”

“I think he is jealous. You know Adam, when he feels threatened he strikes out. He is used to you being completely co-dependent on him. Remember, this is supposed to be focus on Kris time. I know the judges hated your performance but I didn’t think it was too bad. I could see you doing the college circuit. Not too worry, Anoop and Lil did far worse. I think you might be ok.”

“Adam thinks the glamberts will vote against me.”

“Maybe but not everyone was that amused with him screwing around on a flight. Some people looked down on it like Pee Wee Herman jacking off in a movie theater. Plus, some people hate cheaters so maybe you’ll get some pity votes. Either way, it is out of your control. Focus. I’ll come tonight with my bo to support you.”

“I invited Katy again. Please be nice to her.”

“When am I not charming? You never know when there is a Cheeks fan waiting to happen.”

Kris went to the results show and of course was in the bottom three. Once again he was shocked when they announced Anoop would be leaving the show.” Kris had made it to the top 9 even if he was just squeaking by. After the results show, he went out with Katy, her cousin Beth, Brad and Brad’s new love Devin. They had fun dancing. Brad and Katy got on really well and they spent a whole evening not talking about Adam. Kris noticed Adam didn’t call to congratulate him. _Prick!_

The next day, they were told it was movie week. As he was searching the songs, Allison came in and hugged him. “I can’t believe we made it this far. I really liked Katy. Are you and her dating again?”

“No, of course not. Although, I am hoping to become friends again. Before we dated, we were really close as friends.”

“Oh, I was hoping you had gotten over Adam. I thought he was so amazing but he really is a jerk. He shouldn’t have said you were never dating when you were.”

Kris wasn’t sure what specifically she was referring to but Adam had said repeatedly he was single. “Well, we weren’t committed.”

“Still, he didn’t have to sound so nonchalant. He was trying to make you look bad.”

Kris was confused, “Adam just speaks with no filter. Besides, how long ago was this interview?”

“Yesterday. Didn’t you see he went to some Canadian red carpet event with some boy toy? A reporter asked him if you and he broke up. He said you would have to be dating first in order to break up. Then the reporter called him out by quoting him when he said he pounded into you and Adam responded ‘just because he fucks a guy that doesn’t mean they are dating’.”

Kris wasn’t surprised but was still slighting, “Well, truer words were never spoken. Anyway, I think maybe Adam and I are on a break.”

Kris arranged to meet Katy for lunch one day during the week. They reminisced and talked about good times. Katy became serious, “I saw a you tube of Adam at a red carpet with another guy.”

“Yeah, I guess he wants to make it painfully clear we are not in a monogamous relationship.”

“So, you are just having a casual fling? That, isn’t like you at all. Is it casual to you?”

Kris shrugged, “Well…no, I sort of hoped it was more but Adam was honest about it not being more.”

Katy shook her head, “If you were in a casual relationship I would be happy for you. I think with everything going on in your life that would make sense. However, you tend to be very…serious with people. In fact, you can be a little clingy and needy. No offense but you do show signs of codependency.”

Kris became defensive, “No I don’t. I think it is normal to want to be exclusive in a relationship. It is not normal to sleep with other people while dating.”

“I think if you are casually dating, you can date other people. Kris, one of the reasons we didn’t work is because I felt smothered and felt like you thought the world revolved around me. When we broke up, you went straight to Julie and then she became your focal point. Now, it is Adam. Part of me is glad he is not committing to you because you would then set aside all your dreams and just focus on him until he dumped you.”

Kris could not believe the words coming out of Katy’s mouth, “You dumped me because I was too needy?”

“We broke up for various reasons. I couldn’t take being put on a pedestal and feeling like I wasn’t living up to your expectations. Also, we were young and I wasn’t ready for something so serious. Kris, you are an amazing person and I loved being with you. It just got too intense, too soon. We lost the friendship and stopped enjoying each other’s company. Our relationship became hurtful instead of loving.”

Kris thought back and realized Katy was right. The same pattern had happened with Julie with the addition of cheating and now the pattern seemed to be unfolding with Adam. Well, with Adam it was a little different because he wasn’t committing in the first place. Kris looked down.

Katy smiled, “Kris, I think you will make a good boyfriend but first you need to fulfill some of your dreams and turn down the intensity.”

Kris was looking at Katy. He was still attracted to her and really missed the intimacy they once shared, “If I could be casual and less intense, would you ever consider us again?”

Katy sighed, “Maybe…you are still really cute. However, I think we should work on being friends again. I have no desire to be your Adam Lambert substitute. I am not that glittery.”

“My being bisexual isn’t a show stopper?”

“No, as long as you practiced safe sex and aren’t promiscuous. I’d be ok with it. However, now is definitely not the right time to pursue anything.”

Kris smiled and felt more comfortable in his skin with Katy’s acceptance. It was nice being with someone that was not judgmental and not trying to control him. They finished their lunch and he went back to the mansion. The next day pictures of him having lunch with Katy surfaced. The headlines focused on him getting back with an ex and reverting back to being straight. Kris was worried Adam was going to react. He tried to call Adam but he just got voice mail.

Adam finally called him back on Tuesday a few hours before his performance night.

“Did you need something Kristopher? Someone I need to pay off or shall I twitter you some votes?”

Kris held back a snotty retort, “I was calling because I thought we were friends.”

“We are but it’s a one sided friendship. I give and you take. So what do I need to give?”

“Adam, why are you being like this?” Kris assumed he was worried about the nude pictures surfacing, “If the nude pictures come out and my life is ruined it is my problem not yours. It is my life so you shouldn’t feel responsible. Katy pointed-“

“Fuck you. I am not interested in anything your girlfriend has to say. You lying, cheating bastard!”

Kris was caught off guard by Adam’s outburst, “What! We aren’t even monogamous. How could I cheat?”

“Do you see me hooking up with Brad or my other ex-boyfriends? That is one of those rules when you are seeing someone. You don’t date exes! Everyone knows that.”

Kris laughed, “You are always making up bullshit rules to suit you. You opened this door, I wanted to be monogamous. Besides, I am not dating Katy. We are friends and just friends. Are you back in LA now?”

“Like you even care.” Kris could hear Adam sulking. “But, yes, I am at my house.”

“Did you want to come to the show tonight?”

“Will Katy be there?”

“Yes, I invited her and her cousin so I would have someone there. You never called me back.”

“Well, I am calling you now. I think it would be bad for us both to be there. Since I get you more votes, tell her she can’t go or else I won’t go.”

Kris became annoyed because it felt like Adam was trying to control him. Normally he would cave fearing Adam would leave him but not this time. “It is your choice. I am not going to take back my invitation to her. I’ll leave the tickets at the entrance and if you want to come you can.”

Adam just hung up. Kris was relieved because he wasn’t sure he wanted Katy on the receiving end of an Adam diva moment. He did a final run through. He had chosen “Once” on Katy suggestion. They had watched the movie together a few years ago and it was one of their favorites. Again, Kris was struck by the thought how much easier it would be to date Katy. She was easy going and very even keeled. Plus, she was attractive in a manageable way. Adam made Kris too hot and their passion was too great. It was true nothing got Kris harder than picturing himself with Adam but maybe that was not a good enough foundation for a mature relationship.

Kris needed to just let things lie. If Adam wanted to act like a two year old, fine. Kris was tired of worrying and tired of having anxiety attacks. If the nudes came out, fine. If he got thrown off the show, fine. Kris was feeling somewhat confident because some of the mentors on the show really liked him. In fact, Quentin Tarantino hinted if things didn’t work out on idol, he might have a career working on movie scores. Instead of being gloom and doom, Kris recognized he had options and doors were opening.

Adam never showed. Katy was there and looked very classy in a red dress. Kris went on stage and forgot about everything but the music. The crowd loved it and the judges were mixed. Kris was happy with the performance and Allison assured him it was incredible.

After the show, he and Katy went to dinner. They ran into some paparazzi on the way out and were being aggressive. They were asking him he was still letting Adam pound into him? If he was not going back to being straight since he was doing well. Kris tried to ignore them. Another asked if he missed getting it up the ass. Kris lost it, “Leave us alone. Obviously, I am not with Adam any longer.”

Kris wanted to protect Katy from the paparazzi so he pulled her closer to him worried they would get physical. They got to the car and Kris guided her into the passenger side. Kris climbed in, “Sorry about that.”

“Wow, is it always that crazy?”

“I hope not.” Kris drove her home and kissed her on the cheek, “Thanks for coming tonight.”

“Thanks for inviting me. I like coming to the shows.”

“Good, come tomorrow.”

“OK.”

Kris drove back to the mansion and went to bed. The next day he saw the headlines that he and Adam were officially over. Kris saw the you tube of him and Katy and understood why everyone had assumed he went back to Katy. A few glamberts were pissed but most people seemed to think it was a good thing. As much as the world loved Adam, they disliked homosexuality more. Brad called, “You are a real asshole.”

“What?”

“You could have at least called him before you publicly dumped his ass.”

“We weren’t a couple, remember?”

“Yeah but you were sleeping together. Adam is really upset and rightfully so. He is completely convinced you were using him. Worse yet, his mother is trying o console him which means she is reinforcing the idea that you seduced him just to get famous.”

“Is that what you believe?”

“I think you are both jerks but I do think you should call Adam and explain yourself. Well, let him simmer for a bit. Maybe this will make rethink the whole open relationship bullshit. By the way you totally killed it last night. There is no way you will be in the bottom three.”

“We’ll see.” Kris hoped Adam wasn’t too hurt but Brad was right. Maybe this would make him realize seeing other people was a bad idea. Maybe this would be the impetus to bring about a change.


	17. Chapter 17

Kris was surprised that he was starting to get fan mail and his popularity was growing. Kris even saw an article that focused on Adam being a player where more than a few men claimed he was a callous, self centered lover that wasn’t romantic at all. Another former one night stand, claimed that he was happy to see someone had used Adam for a change.

Kris felt bad. On Saturday, they had a press conference and Kris was asked about Adam and Katy. Kris recognized he was not very media savvy but decided to just be honest. “Adam is a great guy and if it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t be here right now. We are no longer together but are still friends.” Kris realized he just implied they were dating, “Not that we were ever a couple but we are less now.” The reporter was looking at him like he was crazy. Kris panicked, “In another words, we are not sleeping with each other anymore.”

Judging by the reporters face, Kris guessed he gave TMI. The reporter smiled awkwardly, “Have you gotten back with Katy O Connell?”

“As for Katy, we are just good friends at the moment. I am trying to focus on my career which may not be going anywhere after this interview.”

The reporter laughed, “You are refreshingly candid. So after things settle down professionally will you date a man or a woman?

Kris rubbed the back of his neck, “A woman. Frankly, they are high maintenance and a little too dramatic.”

The reporter laughed, “I supposed that observation was based on the infamous Glambert.”

Kris realized what he had said and tried to recover, “I just…think…women are easier. I mean not easy but more committed…can we talk about something else.”

“Sure.” Kris continued the interview without totally choking on his knee. After they finished up, they had a few hours off so Kris decided to run back to his apartment and make sure Adam didn’t trash his stuff. Kris arrived and found Adam had changed the locks. _Fucking bastard!_

Kris had the taxi take him to Adam’s house. The security guards gave him a hard time but eventually let him in. Adam was actually home and sitting on the couch as Kris came in. He was wearing jeans and a t-shirt but looked gorgeous. Kris hated how good Adam looked even in casual clothes. Kris good see the remnants of yesterdays eyeliner which made Adam’s eyes pop.

Adam smiled insincerely, “So to what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?”

“You changed the locks to my apartment.”

Adam shrugged, “Oh, I decided to sublet it after all. My friend Danielle needed a place and I didn’t think you would want anything from me anymore so I gave it to her.”

“Where is my stuff?”

“I had it boxed and put away.”

“Couldn’t you have called? That is a really shitty thing to do.”

Adam shrugged again, “Well, in case you haven’t read, I am known for being an asshole to people.”

Kris heard the bitterness, “I am sorry you are getting negative attention. I am also sorry about implying we were over. I think we need to just be friends. Remember, when you said you were my friend first and you would be willing to step back.”

Adam just stared at Kris, “So you really are dumping me. I don’t fucking believe you. So now that you think you can stand on your own, you want to end things between us?”

“Adam, I just think we want different things.”

“Yeah, you want a fucking wife!”

Kris shook his head, “Adam, I wanted a boyfriend but you wouldn’t give me that.”

“I was trying but you were rushing me.”

“Rushing you? I waited months and was only asking you to not fuck everything that moved. I really wasn’t setting the bar all that high.”

“No but you kept picking at my one weakness. I asked you to move in with me and told you I loved you. In return, without so much as a text message, you dumped me and ran back to your girlfriend. That is really mean and selfish.”

 _As usual, Adam was trying to turn the tables._ Kris sighed, “Katy is not my girlfriend she is my ex. You are friends with Brad. Why is it so hard for you to believe I am just friends with Katy?”

Adam stood up suddenly and went by Kris. Adam must have just showered because Kris could smell the lavender shower gel on his skin. Kris heard the alarms going off in his head, _Warning! Danger ahead._ Adam ran his hands through Kris hair, “God, I miss you.” Adam kissed his neck and Kris meant to push him away. Unfortunately, Kris’ body translated that idea as just tilting his head more to give Adam better access. Adam took it as a green light.

Adam started kissing him and undressing him. Kris’ anger turned to passion and they were naked in no time flat. In the back of Kris’ mind he knew this was wrong but was powerless to stop it. Adam carried a naked Kris to the bedroom and dropped him on the bed. Adam proceeded to lick and nibble his way up Kris body from his toes to his mouth. Kris was hard as a rock. Adam worked his way back down and began to suck Kris off while preparing his body for sex. Kris just gave in to the pleasure and let Adam ravage him. Kris was burning with need. He wanted Adam in him and tried to communicate that nonverbally. Adam must have understood the signal because he pulled off Kris’ cock and put on a condom.

Adam proceeded to plow into him hard and deep. Kris loved it and pulled Adam in deeper. Kris kissed Adam, “God, I missed you too.”

Adam kissed him, “Yeah, she could never fill you this good. I just needed to remind you how good I feel in you.”

At first Adam’s words didn’t register but then Kris realized what he said. Kris went to push Adam away but Adam pinned his wrists over his head and changed the angle. Kris felt the pleasure radiating through his body and decided to split hairs after his orgasm. They both climaxed together. Kris slowly recovered and pushed Adam off him. Adam rolled over and tossed the condom toward the waste basket. He smiled at Kris, “You can’t give that up anymore than I can. So, I will take you back as long as you stop hanging out with your blonde bimbo.”

Kris sat up, “Excuse me?”

Adam rolled on his side and ran his fingers down Kris side, “I said I will take you back.”

Kris pushed Adam’s hand away and stood up, “Adam, in case you forgot, I…DUMPED…YOU. I don’t want you to take me back. Look this was a big mistake. Maybe we need to just stay apart.”

Kris watched Adam’s expression change, “You are choosing her over me! I fucking hate you! After everything I did for you this is how you thank me. You used me! Did you and that whore plan this whole thing? My mother was right you are a heartless, bastard.”

Kris just stared at Adam like he was crazy, “Is there a hidden camera? Because, that was quite a performance. Do you really think I used you?”

Adam stood up and pulled on his jeans, “We’ll see how far you get without me. You better make arrangement for your shit because if it is in my house tonight, I am burning it all!”

Adam stormed out of the room. Kris just collapsed against the wall. He called Brad and told him what happened. Brad and his boyfriend came over and helped Kris move his stuff into storage. Luckily, Adam had left the house after their blowout so there was no further drama. Kris was really shaken and angry. Worse he arrived at the mansion late and had to endure a lecture from one of the handlers.

Kris took a shower and went to bed. His cell rang at midnight. He answered without even checking who was calling and heard Adam’s voice, “Ok, maybe I over reacted a little.”

Kris hung up and turned off his phone. No way was he forgiving Adam that easily. The next day he woke up still pissed. The theme was any billboard charting song so pretty much wide open song wise. Given Kris’ mood, he decided to go with “Apologize” from One Republic. He was pretty happy with the arrangement he worked out. He called Katy that evening to make sure she wasn’t mad about what he said in the interview. Kris had become so used to Adam’s tantrums he just assumed everyone overreacted. Katy seemed to not care at all. She was happy he called her a good friend.

“Did you sleep with Adam yesterday?”

Kris was caught off guard, “Why would you ask me that?”

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to pry but I was just wondering if he was lying. He was on America’s top 40 Countdown today. Ryan mentioned you made a point to say you were just friends now and Adam responded by saying he agreed if that friendship includes sex. Then Ryan said you gave an interview a couple days ago and stated clearly you weren’t sleeping with Adam. Adam responded by laughing and saying you didn’t mention it when you guys slept together yesterday.”

“What a jackass. Yeah, I kind of did. It was a mistake.”

Katy laughed, “Well, at least he’s not a liar too.”

“No, just an asshole. He changed the locks to the apartment he gave me and then threatened to throw out my stuff. I had to waste the whole day moving my stuff into storage.”

Katy paused, “He gave you an apartment?”

“Er…well, he wanted to give me some space…I was staying at his house…I worked for him.”

“So you were totally living off the guy? What was he getting in return?”

“Er…me. I mean we were friends.”

“It sounds a little one sided to me.”

Kris became defensive, “Well, you didn’t have to put up with his bullshit. He is the world’s biggest diva. His label paid me to be on Adam mood management. Well, then they fired me and Adam…sort of paid me for that…OK, maybe there were some unhealthy aspects to our relationship.”

Katy just patted his hand, “Well, I am sure it is more complicated than I am thinking. So, I guess he was only paying for all that when you were having sex? Do you have to pay him back?”

He wasn’t sure what Adam expected. Kris shrugged, “I hope not because I think it is a lot of money. He might have paid off my parents and Julie.”

Katy laughed, “You must be really good at the gay thing.”

Kris laughed, “I have gotten more comfortable with sex since you and I were together.” Katy had been Kris’ first and really the sex between them hadn’t been anything to write home about. They had both been virgins and lacked technique and experience. Kris couldn’t help wondering what it would be like now…

Kris went to bed. His phone rang at three in the morning. It was Adam. Kris was worried something happened so he answered, “Adam, is everything OK?”

“No, I miss my cute guy. I want you to come home.”

Kris could tell Adam was either drunk or high. Probably a bit of both, “Adam, I don’t live with you anymore. I have a public storage cubicle now.”

“I’m sorry I got mad. I don’t want you running back to girls. I’ll be better. I want you back. I thought about you the whole time I was fucking this guy tonight. He even looked a bit like you.”

Adam would never get it, “Adam, am I supposed to be flattered that you picture me while fucking someone else? Frankly, I don’t find that comforting. You don’t get to have your cake and eat it too.”

“Can’t we work out an arrangement? How about I give you back your apartment and I give you some spending money? I don’t think you will win American Idol so I will even finance an album. All you have to do is come back home.”

Kris blood ran cold. Adam actually considered him a whore. Instead of offering promises of fidelity, he offered him money. It was like a bucket of ice water being thrown in his face, “Adam, I have no desire to be your boy toy. I wanted to have a relationship but it is obvious you are incapable of that. I also don’t think you are capable of being just a friend so I don’t think you should call me for a while.”

“Like how long? A couple days? Was my offer bad?”

“I am not a whore, Adam and it is obvious you see me as one. Please, don’t call me again.”

Kris hung up. He felt really sad but tried to just channel it into something productive. He ended up staying up the rest of the night. The next day they worked on their group number and got ready for performance night. Kris went out on stage and saw Katy and her friends in his section. He noticed Adam and Monte sitting in the audience. _That’s right as a rock god, Adam could get seats anywhere at anytime. Prick!_

Kris sat down at the piano and looked over at Adam as he began

 _I'm holdin' on your rope,  
Got me ten feet off the ground.  
And I'm hearin' what you say,  
But I just can't make a sound.  
You tell me that you need me,  
Then you go and cut me down...  
But wait...You tell me that you're sorry,  
Didn't think I'd turn around...  
And say..._

 _That it's too late to apologize.  
It's too late...  
I said it's too late to apologize.  
It's too late._

 _Kris looked over at Adam and saw sadness in his eyes. Kris continued the song,_

 _I'd take another chance,  
Take a fall, take a shot for you.  
I need you like a heart needs a beat,  
But it's nothin' new.  
I loved you with a fire red,  
Now it's turnin' blue...  
And you say...  
Sorry, like an angel  
Heaven let me think was you...  
But I'm afraid..._

 _It's too late to apologize.  
It's too late.  
I said it's too late to apologize. YEAH!  
I'm holdin' on your rope,  
got me ten feet off the ground. _

After the show, Kris went into the main room expecting an Adam confrontation. He hoped Adam didn’t mess with Katy. Kris looked around but didn’t see Adam anywhere. Katy came over and hugged him. “You sounded amazing up there. I can’t believe how talented you are, Kris.”

“Thanks. Did you meet Adam?”

“Yeah, he came over and introduced himself. He said he couldn’t stay but he was polite to me. I know he is a jerk to you but fuck he is hot. I could kind of understand letting him get away with some shit. That boy is too beautiful for his own good.”

Kris had never heard Katy speak like that and thought it was funny. “Don’t get too excited, he is totally gay.”

Katy laughed, “Aren’t they all…anyway, he left so you can relax. He did say you needed to call either him or someone named Lane. He said it was urgent.”

Kris had a bad feeling about it. He tried not to panic but finally decided to step outside and call Lane, “Kris, I am glad you called. Your ex wants fifty thousand dollars or else she is releasing the photos tomorrow. What do you want to do?”

 _Fifty thousand dollars!_ “I thought she would take ten or twenty?”

“Blackmailers are greedy. Especially now that people are starting to think you have a shot at winning so they are worth more.”

“I don’t have that kind of money and never will. The show doesn’t pay that much. If I don’t win, I’d never be able to pay off a loan that big.”

“Kris, Adam is willing to pay the money if you want him to maybe you should call him.”

Kris hung up with Lane. He wondered if this was an elaborate ploy to get him to agree to be Adam’s whore. Kris called Adam.

“Kris, I won’t waste your time apologizing for the other night. Julie contacted us and is asking for fifty thousand dollars. I would have just paid it but I think don’t think that is going to stop her. I think you need to prepare for their release.”

Kris panicked, “I’ll be ruined. I’ll be humiliated.”

“I saw the pictures. They aren’t that bad. In fact, I’d say they were pretty hot. Anyway, tell me what you want me to do? I’ll pay the money if you ask me to but I think it will be worse if they find out you tried to pay her off and hide it from the show.”

Kris just started hyperventilating. “Kris, calm down. I have my lawyers looking into your contract with the show. Hopefully, this will just be another minor set-back. I am really sorry because frankly you are an amazing musician. Even though, your song felt like a slap in the face, you sang it beautifully.” Adam paused, “I really hope it isn’t too late…Anyway, just hang tight. As soon as I hear back from the lawyers, I’ll give you a ring. You’ll get through this, baby. You really are stronger than you think.”

Kris hung up and went by Katy. She immediately noticed he was pale, “What’s wrong? What did he do now?”

“Not him, Julie wants fifty thousand dollars or else she is releasing the pictures tomorrow.”

“That is a lot of money. Will they throw you off the show?”

“I don’t know, Adam’s lawyers are looking into it.”

Katy nodded, “How far are you willing to go to keep it private? If he makes you an offer to be his whore, will you accept?”

Kris looked at Katy, “I know the right answer is no but I don’t know. I’m fucked up.”

Katy kissed him on the cheek, “I think you will do the right thing in the end.”


	18. Chapter 18

After seeing Katy to the door and giving her a chaste kiss on the cheek, Kris went back to the mansion to wait for Adam’s call. Adam called him around midnight, “Sorry, I am calling so late but lawyers are always slow. They said you need to make sure you don’t admit to knowing your ex had these pictures and was planning to blackmail you. Since she has never called you, she can’t prove you knew. Make sure your brother and your friends keep their mouth shut about telling you. There is a clause in your contract that you are required to disclose any information or events that could make the show look bad. I got away with my pictures because I immediately admitted where they were from.”

Kris became angry and frustrated, “So why did you advise me not to tell them? You told me to keep quiet!”

“I thought I was helping. At the time, you weren’t popular. They would have thrown you off. You were in a catch 22. Look, if they try and prove she asked for money. I’ll tell them I intervened and made sure you never knew about it. They can’t hurt me that bad.”

“Aren’t you still under their management?”

“Worse comes to worse I’ll get a slap on wrist. I am more worried you aren’t going to be able to pull this off. You have to pretend to be shocked when they come out. Can you do that?”

“I don’t want them to come out.”

“I know but trust me, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. They were gorgeous. I am just worried you are going to get to many admirers and never give me a second chance.”

Kris laughed, “Second chance? I think you are on number 25.”

“Does that mean you want to try again?”

Kris felt sad at the hopefulness in Adam’s tone, “Adam, I love you but I can’t do this right now. I need some space emotionally and I don’t trust myself with you physically.”

“OK…do you like her better than me?”

“Who Katy?”

“Yeah?”

“Yes. She is a lot more likeable person.” Kris heard Adam’s breath hitch, “However, I don’t think I love her more and she doesn’t drive me as crazy as you do.”

“So does that mean I am hotter?”

“Apples and oranges. Look unlike you, I can live without sex. I think I just want to be celibate for a while. I really need to just focus on American Idol.

Adam was quiet for a few seconds, “OK, part of me is glad you are going to focus your energy on your career. Other parts of me…will miss you. I am going to go to London to work on my next album. If you need anything, lawyers, tweets, a friend…just call me. No strings attached. Don’t worry about the pictures. Trust me they are much less humiliating then some of my drag photos.”

Kris smiled, “Thanks. Take care, Adam Lambert.”

“You too, cute guy.”

Kris hung up feeling a little sad and wondering how soon Adam would go to Europe. He was also apprehensive as he waited for the shit to hit the fan. The next day the photos hit the street an hour before results night began filming. Kris was called into Simon Fuller’s office and tried to give the performance of a lifetime. He tried to act shocked at the photos and was actually surprised they had turned out so well. He still wasn’t happy about it but it could have been a lot worse.

Simon Fuller looked him up and down, “You are not as good an actor as your boyfriend. However, you are getting very popular and are great for ratings. For that reason I am going to pretend I buy your bullshit that ‘you didn’t know’. I am only going to ask this once, is there anything else out there?”

Kris thought hard, “Not that I know. There could be cell phone photos of me an Adam together since we used to spend a lot of time in public places when I was on his tour.”

“Photos of you having sex?”

“No, of course not.”

“OK, I want you to stay out of the media. You are going to be sick this week during the press conference because frankly you seem to always screw up in interviews.”

“Relax, I may not make it through tonight.”

“Obviously, we wouldn’t be having this conversation if you were leaving. Now, get out of my office.”

Kris walked out and felt a lightness in his step. He wasn’t sure what would happened with the photos but so far it wasn’t too bad…Of course he didn’t count on his fellow contestants reactions. Kris noticed them all looking at him funny which made Kris feel naked. It was humiliating to think they probably had all seen him in all his glory. Danny spoke up, “What happened were you worried the competition was starting to be about talent? I hope parents and good Christian folk complain enough that you get disqualified. You are bringing us all down with your sexual antics.”

Allison came over, “Well, I thought they were hot. I had no idea you had such-”

Kris was blushing, “Allison! I don’t want to know you looked at them. Please, don’t say anymore.”

Allison laughed, “You better get used to hit because you have been trending on twitter all afternoon and those photos have gotten like ten million hits.”

The show began. Kris looked in the audience and saw Katy, Isaac, Monte and Adam! _Why was Adam here and why was he sitting next to Katy!_ They looked like they were chatting like old friends. However Kris became alarmed when he noticed Katy looking at Adam strangely. Kris barely listened to Ryan since he already knew he was safe. Instead, he kept watching Adam and Katy. Allison punched him and Kris noticed Ryan looking at him. He quickly stood up, “Er…sorry I was distracted?”

“By the brunette or the blonde?”

Kris was about to freak out when Ryan just continued, “After the nationwide vote…you are safe. And hey, you got those votes before your pictures came out.”

Kris totally blushed as the audience went wild. Ryan laughed and Kris held back his urge to punch him. Kris looked out in the audience and saw Katy sitting with some other people. Kris wondered why Adam and his band mates left. Katy was smiling at him and clapping. Kris sat down.

Ryan then announced that America’s most popular idol was going to perform. Adam came on stage with Monte and Isaac to play an acoustic song. Adam went up to the microphone, “I know I have a few hits out there but I’d like to do an older song. This is dedicated to someone very special to me that seems to be constantly dealing with obstacles that a lesser man would find crushing.” Adam looked straight at Kris as he spoke and then winked at him before launching into his opening lyrics…

 _Have you lost your way?  
Livin' in the shadow of the message that you made  
And so it goes  
Everything inside your circle starts to overflow  
Take a step before you leap  
Into the colours that you seek  
You give back what you give away  
So don't look back on yesterday_

 _Wanna scream out  
No more hiding  
Don't be afraid of what's inside  
Gonna tell ya you'll be alright  
In the Aftermath  
Anytime anybody pulls you down  
Anytime anybody says you're not allowed  
Just remember you are not alone  
In the Aftermath_

 _You feel the weight  
Of lies and contradictions that you live with every day  
It's not too late  
Think of what could be if you rewrite the role you play  
Take a step before you leap  
Into the colours that you seek  
You give back what you give away  
So don't look back on yesterday…_

Kris felt always forgot just how damn talented Adam really was. Nobody, including himself could match Adam’s range or vocal technique. This performance was proved why he won a few years back. It really was not fair how sexy and truly talented he was despite the divaness. Kris could tell even Danny was blown away. After the performance Adam came over to greet the other contestants. He was shaking their hands. Allison hugged him. Kris put out his hand, “Nice to meet you, Adam.”

Adam shook his hand, “Likewise,” but instead of letting go he pulled Kris in and kissed him on deeply on the lips. Kris heard the audience howl and the contestants gasp. Kris had no idea if they were on air or not. Kris was mortified and furious that Adam would do that to him. He pulled back and snarled, “Why did you do that?”

Adam shrugged and whispered, “Don’t make a scene we may be on the air.”

 _Make a scene! A little late._ Kris was seething but before he could react, Ryan interrupted, “I guess it’s the brunette.”

Adam smiled innocently which pissed Kris off more, “Actually, Ryan, I am taking a break from dating completely. Adam is just being his usual overly friendly self.”

Adam’s smile remained intact although his eyes told a different story, “What can I say, Ryan? Kris Allen is hot and last I checked there were at least ten million people that know what I am talking about.”

Ryan laughed, “I think its 15 million now. Anyway, Ladies and Gentlemen, Adam Lambert. We will be back after the break to find out who leaves us tonight…”

Kris heard the director say cut. He turned and pushed Adam, “What the fuck was that? Not only did you molest me on TV but you brought up the pictures! What is wrong with you?”

Adam looked down, “I’m sorry. You are right that was a bit out of line.”

Kris was shocked Adam was apologizing, “A bit? You made me look cheap and you made Katy uncomfortable.”

Kris saw that he had chosen the wrong words. Adam looked over by Katy, “Made her uncomfortable? Why would she care if you were just friends? I knew it! You are totally fucking her! You were the one that wanted to be monogamous and…and then you get a girlfriend?”

Kris was torn between being humiliated by Adam making a scene and being pissed off by Adam’s words, “You are right. I don’t do that casual stuff. I like to be with one person and only one person. Unfortunately, you wouldn’t forgo fucking everything that moved so I have moved on. For the record, Katy and I are just friends but if I was a betting man I’d put my chips behind her because you WILL NEVER GROW UP AND STOP BEING A DIVA!”

Adam glared at Kris and then just walked off the set furious. Kris looked around and saw a sea of shocked faces on the audience, the contestants, the judges and crew. Kris shrugged, “Er…sorry about that. I guess Adam and I had a little unfinished business. I’ll just sit back down on the couch.”

Kris sat down feeling mortified and extremely humiliated. So along with the world seeing him completely naked, now they were privy to the failures in his personal life. Kris would have loved to climb in a hole. The director recovered first and signaled that they were back on the air. The show finished and Megan was sent home. They finished filming and Kris went over by Katy, “I am so sorry about tonight.”

“No, I am sorry. When Adam was sitting next to me he started out really sweet and then started to act like a jealous boyfriend. He was basically trying to intimidate me and I may have retaliated by hinting we still had feelings for each other. I didn’t think he would publicly humiliate you like that.”

“Adam is like a spoiled two year old and throws tantrums. I would never expect someone to anticipate that kind of behavior in an adult. I am just sorry he insulted you and made you uncomfortable. I would hate to lose you again.”

Katy smiled, “It would take more than that to scare me away. Besides, I think you can use a friend now.” Katy squeezed his hand and Kris smiled.

Kris was grateful to have someone so understanding in his life and hugged her for a long time before departing back to the mansion. He could not hang out with her after the show because the next day they had to fly to Las Vegas for Elvis week. Kris was glad he was on a plane and unable to view the internet.

Danny came over and Kris stiffened, “Hey man, I don’t really approve of your choices and I thought you were taking advantage of situations but it really sucks to be you. I am not sure I’d be able to deal with all the crap that you have going on but for what it’s worth, I think you are moving in the right direction. Katy seems like a wonderful woman. Maybe your mother was right and you were possessed.”

Kris just looked at Danny, “Er…thanks. I think I just need a nap.” The last thing Kris needed was to listen to advice from a self-righteous, holy roller. Kris just slept the rest of the flight. They had a meet and greet and Kris was shocked by all the fans. Many of which were older women screaming I love you and some things that made Kris blush. Kris also had some hot women telling him dumping Adam was the best thing he ever did and they were willing to recruit him back to their team.

Kris was taken a little aback when a few fans presented his nude photo to be signed. Kris blushed at first but then figured what was the point. He signed anything and everything and could not believe how many more fans he seemed to have the other contestants. Kris also noticed the show bigwigs were taking note. Perhaps the old cliché, any publicity is good publicity was true.

Adam called him that evening and Kris reluctantly answered and listened as Adam insincerely apologized, “I am sorry I freaked out yesterday. I guess I just got really jealous. You know how that goes.”

“Fuck you, Adam. I don’t remember ever embarrassing you on national TV because I decided to be jealous. Plus, you are the one that is always wanting our relationship to be causal and include other people.”

“Casual, exactly. She is not casual. She is more like a baby maker and white picket fence trick. You can’t compare me getting a blow job from some twink to you carrying on a relationship with an ex-girlfriend. Sorry, I am not buying it.”

“Good because I am not selling anything. Adam, we are done! I don’t want to…whatever it was we were doing anymore. Go enjoy your one nightstands and nonstop blowjobfests and leave me alone!”

Kris hung up furious. After a few minutes he simmered down and called Adam back, “Adam, I just can’t do this anymore. We are starting to hurt each other.”

“I know. Look, I get it. You don’t need to put up with my bullshit anymore so you aren’t going to. What if I said I would change? What if I said I’d give up other men?”

“Would you mean it?”

“Maybe but I would probably cheat. I guess we are at impasse. Look, I am happy for you that you are getting your dreams. You are more talented than I thought you were. I mean I knew you could sing but I never thought of you as a real artist. I still think you aren’t gonna like being famous or enjoy the attention. I hope someday you forgive me and we can be friends. If you need something, you can still call me. Good luck and by the way, I think I was wrong and you are going to be as big a star as me. Enjoy it. You deserve all the fortune and fame coming your way.”

 _What about love?_ It hurt say goodbye to Adam but he needed some sanity back in his life. Kris also owed Adam a lot, “Since I am going to be a big star, you have to tell me how much I owe you. I know it is probably a lot of money.”

“You don’t owe me anything, Kris. I did those things because I love you. Just because you moved on, it doesn’t mean that changes. Pay me back by kicking Gokey’s ass in the competition. That is worth millions.”

Kris laughed, “I’ll do my best. Well, good luck recording your next album…I really-”

Adam laughed, “No lame goodbyes. Later, cute guy.” Adam hung up and Kris felt really sad. It was going to be hard not being able to call Adam. Granted having moved in the mansion and Adam in Canada he had gotten a chance to gain some autonomy. But this seemed so final.

Elvis week went really well. Kris chose to sing suspicious minds. The week flew by between the trip to Las Vegas and the usual American Idol business. Kris’ pictures had made him extremely popular with the women. His older fans seemed to think it was even sexier that he had been with Adam Lambert. Most of his fans seemed to think he was straight but extremely open to new experiences. Also, there had been some reporters in the audience that made it very clear that Kris dumped a very jealous Adam.

A few days later, Adam gave an interview to a London based show and said he thought Kris was a really good musician and deserved to win American Idol. The host asked him about his romance and whether or not he thinks Kris used him. Adam paused, “I think we both benefitted from our relationship and I’d like to think we are still friends. Being on a show like American Idol changes you and some people have a hard time balancing the craziness and personal relationships. So, I think Kris is smart to just focus on his career now since I can be very distracting.” Adam smiled at the cute host. _Prick!_

Kris was pretty sure after the interview, Adam was probably getting laid. _Focus!_ Once the story broke that Kris was definitely not with Adam Lambert his parents called. His mother was crying and thanking God he wasn’t possessed anymore. His father told him he was proud of Kris for turning down the devil’s temptation and moving towards the light. His parents also forgave him for embarrassing the whole family since it was not completely his fault the devil possessed him. Kris now knew his parents were insane and only capable of conditional love. Kris was pissed that they did not accept him for who he was and had abandoned him but then thought about week three. He could not afford to have a crazy home parade. He decided to just let sleeping dogs lie and disown them later.

Kris sailed through the next couple weeks. Now with Adam out of town and Brad still busy with his boyfriend, Kris spent all his non-idol time with Katy. The show agreed to fly his family out for the top five and top four shows. Kris looked out in the audience when he made it into the top three and saw his parents hugging Katy and cheering him on. Although, it seemed picture perfect with the loving family and cute little women, Kris could not help remembering the first few results nights when he had looked out and saw Adam and his crazy friends or the celebrities Adam coaxed to go on.

Yeah, Kris’ life seemed to be going smoothly and perfectly. Without Adam, his stress level had decreased and the drama had come to a screeching halt. However, he felt like something was missing and would find himself reminiscing with Allison about life on the road with Glambert. At night just before falling asleep, Kris would feel a few moments of loneliness and sadness that Adam wasn’t beside him in the bed.

Of course, all he needed to do to feel better was to read the tabloids and see pictures of Adam partying in London surrounded by twinks. Kris was sure Adam was far too busy fucking to feel lonely. Kris needed to move on. It would be so easy to rekindle his relationship with Katy. She was his best friends and beautiful. His family loved her, the publicists thought she was great and she was a good person. Kris could tell Katy was still attracted to him and wondered how she would react if he decided to take the next step. Kris decided he would cross that bridge after the season finale.


	19. Chapter 19

Kris, Danny and Allison had made it to the final three. He still hadn’t spoken to Adam and wondered if Adam was even following the show anymore. Adam was still showing up in the UK tabloids and they were even hinting at him being seen with the same blonde guy more than once. Kris knew most of what they printed wasn’t accurate but it still bothered him. He chose to sing Heartless and Kiss a girl. The night of the performance he broke down and tried to call Adam but it just went into voicemail. Kris didn’t leave a message even though he knew Adam’s phone would show he called.

The pressure was on the night of the performance. His father came backstage to give him a pep talk, “Son, I am so proud of you. For the last few years you have been pretty unimpressive and I thought you would never become anything. Well, here you are being fairly successful. So I just hope you don’t sabotage yourself like you usually do and instead, do good. I think now that you have gotten over your…little problem, God may be on your side.”

 _Some cheerleader!_ Kris looked at his father, “My little problem?”

Neil Allen looked really uncomfortable, “Son, let’s not discuss the terrible sins you committed. The important thing is you have turned back into the light and now you are with a beautiful girl and appearing on national TV. Good job.”

Kris could not bring himself to see Adam as a terrible sin. Sure, a source of frustration, a perpetual diva, even an open wound but not a terrible sin. Kris looked at his father, “For the record, I am only on national TV because of Adam. If I hadn’t met him, I would never have had the courage to pursue my dream.”

Neil shifted, “Son he took advantage of your weakness. You had just been jilted and he led you down a dark road. I know you aren’t really unnatural so let’s not ever mention your transgressions. I am sure Katy doesn’t want to know you were friends with someone like that.”

Kris just shook his head, “Friends? We were lovers, Dad. If being with him was a sin, I committed a lot of them and God help me, I would do it again in a heartbeat.”

Neil smacked him, “Watch your mouth. Son, you had better seek help before you ruin everything. Why do you always try and disappoint your mother and me? You could have the whole world at your feet with a good woman on your side and instead, you talk of being with an abomination. Son, I am going to pray for your soul and hope you do the right thing.”

Neil walked out and Kris felt shaky. Katy came over a few minutes later, “Hi, are you ready for your big night?”

“I guess. I just had a big blowout with my father.”

“Well, he can be a little small minded so I am not surprised. Well, whatever it was about, forget it. You don’t need their approval and you certainly don’t owe your success to them.”

“Thanks, you are a good person and it means a lot that you are here supporting me.”

“Always. And when you become a big star, you better let me act in your videos so I can get some exposure.”

“Deal.” Kris hugged her and kissed her softly on the lips. Before Kris knew it, he kissed her longer. Katy responded for a few seconds and then pulled back, “Kris, as much as I want to kiss you and be with you, I think we should wait until the dust settles and you sort yourself out. Let’s not rush into anything.”

Kris felt embarrassed, “I am sorry, Katy.”

“I’m not. I just think we should wait. Now, go kick Danny’s ass.”

Kris smiled as he watched her go back to the audience seats. Kris thought about the kiss and how nice it was. It was tender and sweet. It was very different than the all consuming kisses he shared with Adam. When Adam kissed him, he couldn’t even think. Adam was much more aggressive and made his knees buckle. It was as if nothing existed outside of the kiss. _No, it was better to have control and moderation._ Kris once again thought in the long run Katy’s temperament might suit him more. Yet, the thought of kissing Adam stirred his loins and made his heart ache. _How could Adam just not call and apparently move on?_ Kris went on stage with just his guitar

 _In the night I hear 'em talk,  
The coldest story ever told,   
Somewhere far along this road  
He lost his soul,   
To SOMEONE so heartless  
How could you be so heartless?  
Oh, how could you be so heartless?... _

 

Kris finished the song and got nothing put love form the judges. Allison and Danny both did good. Kris really hoped he and Allison made it to the finals but he was happy that people were finally talking about his singing rather than his sexuality or pictures. His more family friendly image was winning over the younger crowd. Kris sang, “Wanna kiss the Girl” by Keith Urban and kept it gender specific since it was for Katy. Ryan came over after the song and asked if there was a special someone that was for?”

Kris blushed, “Kind of but like I said I am taking a break from relationships. Who knows maybe when the dust settles, I’ll get my kiss.”

The judges weren’t as impressed with that performance and Simon called him clumsy. Kris hoped it didn’t cost him the competition. That night they all went to celebrate the performance. Kris still was still angry at his father but for everyone sake he was civil. Kris watched Katy and his mother chatting about makeup like best friends. Kris smiled when he thought what it would be like if Adam met his parents. Although his mother would be appalled, Adam could probably talk about makeup more than Katy. Once again he felt a pang. His phone rang and Kris excused himself to answer it, “Hey Adam, how are you?”

“Having the time of my life, babe. Hey thanks for the song, it was really sweet that I got “heartless” while the blonde bimbo got, “I wanna kiss the girl”.”

Here we go. Kris hoped to avoid a fight, “Maybe it was about Julie.”

“Really, than you would have kept the word ‘woman’ let’s not pretend I am stupid. Anyway, whatever, despite the sentiment, it was a good version of Kanye’s hit. The judges were right about the other tune. Aside from it being a shitty song you looked like an awkward high school hick trying to get laid at the prom. I hope she puts out before you get booted off the show.”

Kris could not believe after weeks of not talking, Adam just laid into him like that, “Fuck you. If you called just to be an asshole, mission accomplished you can hang up now.”

“Actually, I didn’t intend be so bitchy. I just can’t believe how quickly you transfer affections for people. Well, the media loves your new family friendly gig. Are you going to start denying we ever had anything?” Kris could tell Adam’s words were slurring a bit.

“Are you drunk?”

“No, I only had a few shots and a couple tokes. Why are you gonna criticize me for that too? I am sure Ms. Apple pie doesn’t ever indulge.”

“Why do you hate Katy so much? She is a great person and a friend of mine.”

Adam’s tone softened, “I hate her because she is the reason you don’t miss me. Why don’t you miss me?”

Kris sighed, “I do. I miss you all the time but you refuse to change and I can’t keep compromising my principles even for you.”

“Are you going dating her?”

Kris wanted to be honest, “No but I am thinking about it. Can you give me a good reason not to?”

Adam was quiet and then said softly, “No, I guess not.”

Prick! Kris was glad he had held his ground since it was obvious Adam was still not willing to give in, “OK, well anything else?”

“Good luck and whatever happens on the show, you already showed the world just how good you are. Plus, you still get to go on tour even if you lose. Enjoy the spotlight, you never know when it will fade.”

Kris hung up and had no clue why Adam bothered to call or act jealous. It was his fault they were apart. Kris went to results night and was ecstatic when it was announced he and Allison would be in the finals. The next week was fast and furious getting ready for the finale and having to perform three songs. He would be performing, “Ain’t no Sunshine”, “  
“What’s going on?” and “No boundaries”. Kris had dinner with Katy the day before the final two performance show and told her about his song choice. He was worried she would be upset, “I am thinking of doing ‘Ain’t no sunshine’ but I will change the pronoun to she.”

Katy smiled, “Kris, when you sang that song it was beautiful because you really meant it. Everyone could see the pain and regret in your eyes. That song is about Adam not me. If you don’t feel that way now, don’t do the song.”

“It’s over between me and him. I need to move on and I don’t want to ruin things between us. I don’t want to remind the world that Adam and I…were together. It is not fair to you.””

“Kris, don’t you dare start using me as your emotional crutch. Look, I care about you and I do hope we can be together someday. However, I don’t want to pretend you are something other than you. I am not your parents and I accept you had a relationship with Adam. I also know you still have feelings for him. Like I said, if you mean it than sing it. If not do another song.”

Kris looked at Katy, “Well, I can still change the pronoun. I think it would be better for my image anyway.”

“Oh yes, by all means make sure you start covering your tracks. Maybe if you act like a complete heterosexual no one will ever know you sinned.” Kris could hear the sarcasm in Katy’s voice and was confused.

Kris responded defensively, “What will your family think if you date a bisexual man? I am doing this for you.”

“Thanks for the sentiment but frankly I don’t give a flying fuck what my family thinks and they certainly don’t factor into my love life. Kris, I don’t care what you sing or what you don’t sing. Just because I am your friend or maybe even a future girlfriend, what you chose to sing doesn’t matter. It is your life and your career. Kris, stop giving other people power and just do what YOU want to do. If you want to sing a song about Adam, then do it and for heaven’s sake don’t apologize.”

Kris smiled, “You are the most balanced person I know. I love you, Katy, I really do.”

The day of the show, they had to go to the Nokia theater for a sound check and quick run through. It went well but on the way back he and Allison decided to sneak away for white chocolate raspberry mocha lattes. While there, they were accosted by some paps,

“Kris how do you feel about Adam getting another boyfriend?”   
“Do you know the blonde guy?”   
“Are you swearing off men?”

Kris was confused, “Adam doesn’t do boyfriends. Believe me I should know.” Kris knew better than to answer them but did anyway.

“So you don’t think Adam has a new lover?”

“Adam always has plenty of lovers that doesn’t mean he is dating them. He doesn’t date and he doesn’t do boyfriends. Adam Lambert gets laid, end of story.”

Kris noticed Allison staring at him with her jaw on the ground. _Shit._ Kris pulled Allison out of the Starbucks and they headed back to the mansion. Kris knew it was going to be all over the media and probably cost him the competition.

Once back at the mansion, Kris googled Adam and saw shots of him partying it up with a cute blonde on his lap. One of the headlines read, “Does Adam Lambert have a new friend?” It showed another shot of Adam with the same blonde in a different setting. _Adam never does twinks twice!_ Kris was nauseous and angry. _That fucking bastard!_ It was two hours before showtime and there was no way Kris was going to sing “Ain’t no sunshine.”

Kris flagged down one of the crew and told them he didn’t need the piano for the second number and he would just play guitar. All his coaches advised him against changing his song this late in the game. Even Allison freaked, “Kris, I want to win but you shouldn’t mess with your song this late. You were nailing it in rehearsal.”

“Ali, I can’t be a hypocrite. You heard what I told those paps and so will the voters. I don’t feel that song, I want to do ‘Heartless’. I am feeling that one.”

The show began. Kris opened with Simon Fuller’s choice, “What going on?” It got mixed reviews. Kris was still seething about the photos by the time he hit the stage for “Heartless”. Kris belted it out and felt a little emotional singing it and hoped it worked. Kris finished and stood by the judges.

Randy went first, “I loved when you did that song last week but I don’t know, dog, for me for you that just wasn’t the right choice. It seemed almost angry.”

Paula went next, “Yeah there was a little bitterness and you hit some bum notes. But, I am proud of you. I know this has been a hard journey for you and there has been a lot of distractions but you made it. Good job.”

Kara nodded, “Yeah…Kris, it just didn’t seem like you. I picture you softer and you lost the qualities that made it so good last week.”

Kris wasn’t feeling good and dreaded the next comment. Simon shook his head, “I thought you were going to do “Ain’t no Sunshine”.

“I-I couldn’t sing that. Not now.”

Simon shook his head again, “You know Kris one of the things I liked about you was your ability to forget everything and perform. However, tonight you brought your problems on the stage and it probably will cost you the competition. That was a terrible performance. The difference between you and your friend that won a few years ago is he would never have let you affect his performance. It was a stupid song choice.”

Kris snapped, “That’s because he doesn’t care about anything and he gets to act like a Diva while everyone just accepts it because he is the great Glambert. I couldn’t sing ‘Ain’t no sunshine’ because frankly my life is a thousand times better without him!”

There was dead silence in the theater until Simon spoke again, “Are you drunk?”

Kris just walked off the stage and wanted to die. He humiliated himself in front of millions of people. There was a knock on the door, “Kris, it’s me, Katy. Open the door, you have to go on again in ten minutes. Can I come in?”

Kris opened the door and immediately hugged her. She held him as he cried, “I just ruined my whole life. I humiliated myself in front of the whole world. I can’t go back on that stage.”

Katy held him and tried to soothe him. Kris was having a breakdown. Kris could hear people mumbling outside the dressing room. Katy went to the door and Kris heard her tell his mother he was fine and just needed a few minutes. Kris just kept his head down. Katy grabbed Kris’ cell phone off the counter and pressed a button. Kris was too emotionally raw to even think about what she was doing.

“Adam, this is Katy…did you see the show…Kris, doesn’t want to get back on the stage and I can’t convince him to do it anyway…hold on.” Katy held the phone out to Kris, “Please take the phone.”

Kris reluctantly took the phone even though Adam was the last person he wanted to speak to, “Hello?”

“Simon’s damn right I would never fuck up a performance like you just did. I don’t know what got into you but you better pull your head out of your ass for the last song. You owe it to all the people that have been voting for you.”

 _This was not helping_ , “Adam, I humiliated myself. I can’t go back out there. You were right I am not cut out for this.”

“Kris, I was wrong you are talented and deserve to make it in music. If you ever want to work in this town, you better get your ass out there. Kris, you can do this. I know you messed up and you probably blew your chances at the crown but you need to finish the competition. What’s done is done. People mess up but you have to show you can recover. You are one of the most resilient people I know, show the world that Kris Allen can take a licking and keep on ticking.”

Kris laughed, “I am not the energizer, rabbit.”

“Mm, sometimes you are. Now, go out there and sing your little heart out. Forget about the audience, forget about me, definitely forget about Barbie and just sing for you. Don’t pass up the moment of your life for anyone. You got this one, cute guy.”

Kris felt a little better, “What if I screw up?”

“Babe, you really can’t top that emotional outburst. You have nothing to lose, so nothing to fear. Now hurry up it looks like the commercials are almost over.”

Kris remembered why he loved Adam and Adam’s honesty. Kris hung up feeling determined. Kris wiped his tears and looked at Katy. “Why did you call him?”

She shrugged, “I was hoping he could talk you down when I couldn’t. Now go!”

Kris went back on stage and just tuned out the whole audience. He sang, “No boundaries” better than he had all week. The judges praised him on the song. Simon, however, addressed the elephant in the room, “Well, I think you still blew the competition with your emotional melt down but good for you coming back strong. I actually think you might have the spirit to make it in this business after all. Good luck.”

After the show, they were taken straight back to the mansion. They had a big day ahead with the finale. Kris avoided talking to his family especially because he could see the disappointment in his father’s eyes. Kris fell right to sleep. He woke up the next day and found the handlers had disabled the internet in the house. No one was letting them see or hear the media. They were even forced to give up their cell phones. Kris was glad in a way since he was sure the press had been negative. He had sent two tickets to Brad since the finale was going to be awesome and he hadn’t spoke to him in a while. After getting to the theater, Kris had to laugh when he saw a sparkly Brad with a tall drag queen sitting next to Katy. His mother and father were just sitting stiffly staring straight ahead.

The show began and Kris was excited to perform with Keith Urban and Allison performed with Heart. Unfortunately, he had to see some of the other contestants. Danny came over, “I can’t believe you embarrassed yourself on national TV. You would have been better off if they had voted YOU out last week.”

“Yeah but they didn’t. Too bad historically, the third place contestant never does well after the show. It’s like a cursed spot.”

Kris walked away. Finally they go to the end. Kris stood arm and arm with Allison as Ryan read the results, “After the nationwide vote of one hundred million votes, your next American Idol is…Allison Iraheta.”

Kris actually felt relieved and happy for Allison. He immediately twirled her around. _Thank god it was over!_ Kris stood on the sidelines watching Allison sing her heart out. He looked out in the audience and saw his father and mother shaking their heads. Katy and Brad were smiling. Katy waved to him and he blew her a kiss.

After the show, they did a bunch of press and Kris just played off his breakdown to nerves and being exhausted. He also maintained he loved Allison like a sister and couldn’t be happier that she won. It was a crazy few days where they were shuffled from one media event to another. As the runner-up, Kris had just as much press to do as Allison. He had no time to see or talk to anyone. Kris intentionally avoided the internet and refused to speak about Adam.

Finally, a week later they were given a morning off before a huge “Idol Gives Back” event. Kris spent the morning catching up on sleep and getting coffee with Katy. They didn’t talk about idol and instead just had a nice time being normal. He was taking her to the show as his date. That night he picked her up and she looked beautiful in a rose colored evening gown. They showed up at the red carpet and the media seemed to love them. Kris knew they made a pretty couple.

Once inside, Kris got them a couple glasses of champagne and started to mingle. He froze when he saw Adam dressed to the nines in stylish black suit. It had some sparkle and signature accessories. He looked stunning. Kris couldn’t help staring. Adam looked over and their eyes locked. Kris felt his breath catch at the intensity of Adam’s gaze.

Katy coughed, “Perhaps we should just go over and say hello. It is obvious he has seen you.”

“Sorry, are you OK with this. If he gets obnoxious, we will walk away.”

They went over and Kris noticed a blonde guy standing close to Adam. Kris put his arm around Katy, “Hello Adam, you remember Katy.”

Adam smiled, “Of course, you look so…precious in pink, like a doll.”

Kris tensed but Katy smiled, “Well, thank you, Adam. It is every girl’s dream to be compared to Barbie.”

Kris bit his tongue not to laugh at Katy’s response. He was happy she was not intimidated by Adam. Judging by Adam’s expression, the sarcasm was not lost on him. Adam put his arm around the blonde guy and smiled proudly, “Fair enough. I’d like to introduce you to my boyfriend, Dev.”

 _BOYFRIEND!_ Kris felt his heart break. _Wait, Adam doesn’t do boyfriends…_


	20. Chapter 20

Kris could not breathe and felt like he was going to collapse. Luckily, Katy noticed Kris’ near heart attack and his inability to gain control of his emotions. She turned to Adam and Dev, “It is nice to meet you, Dev. Oh Kris, that is our song, we totally have to dance. Sorry boys I need to borrow him.”

Kris felt Katy pull him away and onto the dance floor. Kris was not in the mood to dance but it was better than standing there gulping like a fish. Luckily, it was a slow song. Katy broke the silence first, “Well, that was awkward. Are you ok?”

“I am just kind of shocked. Why would he date him and not me? How long do you think they have been dating? It will never last. Maybe Adam is just paying him to pretend. Do you think the guy is his type?”

“Well, you definitely are not over him. Do you want to leave?”

“No way, that would make me look stupid. You have to help me save face. Pretend to be my girlfriend just for tonight.”

“Kris, that is a really bad idea. You don’t need any more negative publicity and I just know that either you or Adam will make a scene. I really don’t want to get caught up in that.”

Kris was annoyed but knew Katy was right. Still, he held her close and couldn’t help looking over at Adam. Adam was watching him and scowling. His date seemed oblivious and way too busy picking out treats on the buffet table. After the dance Katy said she had to go to the bathroom, “Do not under any circumstance confront Adam. OK?”

“I am going to wait right here.”

Katy reluctantly walked away. Kris immediately phoned Brad, “When did Adam get a boyfriend?”

“Kris? What are you talking about?”

“I am at an event and Adam just introduced me to his BOYFRIEND.”

“Oh for Chrissake, don’t you two embarrass each other enough publicly? Adam is probably just messing with you for telling the world he is incapable of having a boyfriend. There is no way Adam fell in love overnight. Is he hot?”

Kris just hung up and noticed Dev was alone. He went right over despite Katy’s warnings, “Dev, right?”

“You got it. Is there a sit down dinner or should I keep eating these snacks?”

“I think it is just a cocktail party. So, how long have you been dating Adam?”

“I don’t know, like three weeks or a month. I live in London in case you didn’t notice my proper pronunciation of the English language. So you are the infamous Kris, I would have pictured you…hotter.”

Kris just stared at the guy, feeling insulted. Dev continued, “I saw your naked pictures and I’d do you but you aren’t the crème de la crème Adam seems to envision. I am better looking.”

Kris hated this prick, “Looks aren’t everything. Are you a musician?”

“Nope, I model and do some acting. I am hoping Adam introduces me to some Hollywood types. This party seems to be a networking disaster.”

Kris noticed Adam looking over concerned but he was stuck talking to Simon Fuller. Dev looked over and blew Adam a kiss and turned to Kris, “That boy is a looker alright. Hands down the best looking person in the room and not to mention the fuck of a lifetime. I feel like I hit the jackpot.”

This guy seemed incredibly shallow, “Really, you don’t find him moody and explosive.”

Dev motioned for Kris to come closer like he was confiding a secret, “Well, just between you and me, I tune him out a lot. He is beautiful but he never shuts up. Seriously, he is a total chatter box. I like the sound of his voice but I just hear blah, blah, blah but hey nobody is perfect. Maybe the incessant talking helps him sing.”

Kris wanted to punch the guy, “If you don’t even listen to him, what kind of relationship do you have?”

“Obviously a better one than you had because he called me ‘boyfriend’. Look, sorry you came in second on American Idol and sorry you came in second in Adam’s love life but no need to get bitchy. He’s with me so get over it. Aren’t you banging that blonde?”

Kris lost it and punched Dev. Of course, Dev was a wiry fucker and immediately fought back. Kris felt them being pulled apart by security and saw all the paparazzi cameras going off. Adam and Katy came over. Adam yelled at Kris, “Why are you fighting with my boyfriend? You don’t see me pulling Katy’s hair?”

Kris was furious at Adam’s words and even more angry that Adam was looking at Dev with concern. Adam frowned, “You busted his lip, Kris. Thanks, a lot.”

“Adam, he is using you. He thinks you are just a pretty face and a good fuck. You deserve more.”

“Well, at least he isn’t judgmental and doesn’t criticize me all the time.”

“He doesn’t criticize you because he doesn’t even listen to you!” Kris felt all the anger leave his body when he realized the hopelessness of the situation. He looked at Adam sadly, “You broke my heart tonight.”

“What! I thought you would be happy. You are the one that says I don’t do boyfriends. Well, I am trying to show you I can. But as usual instead of being flattered you piss on my efforts.”

How very Adam to try and turn the tables, “Why would you even think I would like you dating someone else? You know I like monogamy.”

Adam smiled, “Exactly. I was test driving a commitment. Frankly, I am struggling a bit and that whole monogamy thing always seems a bridge too far but I am trying. This was supposed to show that I matured and was capable of some kind of commitment. You were supposed to then realize what you lost and come running back to me. Brad suggested I just be photographed with the same guy a couple times but I thought this would be a stronger statement. Besides, I needed a dry run with the whole boyfriend thing.”

Katy looked at Adam, “What about Dev? Were you just going to use him?”

“Well…well, I was going to introduce him around and help him with his acting.”

Katy looked at Dev, “You are ok with that? Did you know he was still hung up on Kris?”

Dev shrugged, “I had a clue when he called out Kris’ name a couple times while we were fucking. Personally, I am not sure why he would picture him while he was banging me but there is no accounting for taste.” Dev leaned closer to Katy and said in a not so quiet voice, Just between me, you and the world, Adam can be a little too high maintenance for my taste anyway.”

Adam took offense, “Hey, you are not supposed to talk bad about me and you agreed not to share any secrets. I am your boyfriend, remember.”

“You mean was and Babe, it is no secret you are a diva.”

Adam rolled his eyes, “I was talking about the sex part.” Adam looked at the paparazzi standing about and shrugged, “What can I say, Kris Allen is my celebrity crush.”

Kris was still having a hard time following Adam’s logic, “Adam, why didn’t you just commit to me?”

Adam looked down, “I didn’t want to fuck up. You set the bar so high and you weren’t letting me take baby steps.”

“Adam, if you took any smaller steps you’d be going backwards. Besides, all you had to do was give up other men. That is not that high a bar.”

“It was for me! What if I did that and then you still ran back to her? Then, I would be all alone.”

Kris heard the insecurity in Adam’s voice and was not quite sure how to respond to his fears. Kris felt Katy place a hand on his arm. He had totally forgotten that she was standing by him. He looked over and saw her looking at Adam with sympathy, “Adam, love is about taking a chance. If you really love Kris, you have to be willing to take a risk. He certainly took one falling for you.”

Adam looked at Kris, “What if I screw up? If I try, do I get any do-overs?”

Kris couldn’t believe what he was hearing and needed to clarify, “What are you saying, Adam? You are going to try and be my boyfriend? You are going to try and be monogamous?”

“Maybe. Do blowjobs count?”

“Adam, everything counts.”

Kris could tell Adam was sweating and took some pity, “Look, I don’t expect you to be perfect, Adam, but I expect you to try. Try really, really hard.”

Adam smiled at the reprieve, “I can do that, cute guy…I mean boyfriend.”

Kris laughed and then felt Katy push him, “Well, since you decided to fight about this publicly at least give the paparazzi a good photo. Go kiss your boyfriend.”

Kris looked at all the cameras and then at Adam’s hopeful expression. Easy choice, Kris ran into Adam’s arms and kissed him. After a few moments they broke apart and Kris heard one of the paps call out to him, “Kris, I thought you said your life was better without him and he acts like a Diva?”

Kris cringed at hearing the words he uttered to millions of viewers during the last performance night. He turned to Adam who was looking vulnerable as he waited to hear Kris’ response, “I lied my life could never be better without him. It would be incomplete and a lot less…sparkly.” Kris saw Adam smile and continued, “However, for the record, he is one of the biggest diva’s known to mankind but now he is my Diva.”

Adam pouted, “Hey, put me back on my pedestal.”

Kris laughed, “Even with all my issues, I can’t pretend you are not a Diva but I love you anyway.”

Adam kissed him, “I love you too, cute guy.”

Kris felt like his heart was going to burst from happiness. Finally, Adam had compromised and was willing to try to have a relationship. Whether Adam could really remain monogamous was still a mystery. Kris decided not to worry about what would happen when he went on the idol tour and would be busy recording an album. The important thing was Adam was finally willing to try.

 

~~~FIN~~~


End file.
